Hello fellow travelers.
I am quite behind on my reading. Been busy arguing and making up with H who is not N but has some dysfunctional behaviors like me). Also been dealing with some health issues that I might start a thread on - Ami suggested a thread on medical fears earlier and I like her idea a lot.
Anyway, thanks to you all for writing more about this topic. Since I am so behind, I will just respond with a few quick thoughts.:
Stormchild, thanks for your insight on my moms's reaction to my high school virginity. The competition in her head idea is spot on - I had never though of it that way before.
Axa- no toothbrushes for you!?! that's horribly neglectful (((Axa))) My mom had plenty of time to sunbathe herself but she never brushed my hair or trimmed my nails. I was pretty ratty looking. Baths are lovely but I never take the time. sounds good though.
Axa and CB123, I agree - alone time is safe, not having to be on all the time. I find being around other people very draining. I am most relaxed (but not necessarily happiest) when I am alone. I wonder if there is a relationship between ACONs and introversion?
CB123 and Hops - I love those movies, too. CB, I am also a foodie and find food and food preparation very self-healing, independently creative, and sensual - puts me in touch with the outside word somehow. I love cooking with my little girl.
Teartracks, Re-mothering is huge for me, but something I forget to do. I find myself drawn to child-like things sometimes, like fairs, zoos, playgrounds. I find myself cuddling with my daughter's stuffed animals - when I was a kid, I think my stuffed animals were the only things that loved me. they were the only things that I could love back.
Tayana, I think trust is at the very core of many of my fears and I find it very hard, too. If my Nmom lost trust in her N supply, she always abandoned them, and I think I learned some of that from her. I did not learn who I can trust and not trust, and I did not learn that some people can be generally trusted even if they don't appear 100% trustworthy at them moment (like trusting a non-N loved-one to treat you well in the long run, even if you are fighting with them at the moment).
Bella_French, Thanks for adding to the list, especially for pointing out the silver lining to the craziness we learned. Even though my "education" in feelings came from a terrible place, being compassionate and empathic can really have its benefits sometimes and can be a really powerful tool for understanding people.
Green
