Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
A Story and a Few Words of Encouragement
rosencrantz:
I can understand why you used the word aggressive but I think there's a better word (like assertive and upfront and telling it like I see it) but not the word spiteful.
--- Quote ---I thought that this forum was to support one another and get ideas.
--- End quote ---
I gave you an idea. I notice you use the word 'stop' a lot and you seem to want to 'stop' discussion. I was wondering where it came from, what motivated you? If you want to share your feelings, I'll support you if you want me to.
We can't understand other people until we understand what motivates us. Why we do the things we do. Why we say the things we say.
--- Quote ---my comments are not directed toward any person with intention to badger, quiet, stifle or inhibit
--- End quote ---
If that is true, please could you explain what you intended your original comments (relax, you are too complicated, in contrast to you I will keep my comments simple) to achieve, and who they were (not) directed at, so that I can better understand.
We only have words to communicate with here.
http://www.yalom.com/gifttow5.html
I'm writing in a hurry as I have to go but I'm trying to find a better way.
R
Tokyojim:
It borderlines on the unbelieveable and incredible - How you get lost in your psychobabble and rhetoric. Cannot see the forest for the trees and/or find multiple meanings at simple and direct statements.
Tokyojim:
You wrote:
I gave you an idea. I notice you use the word 'stop' a lot and you seem to want to 'stop' discussion. I was wondering where it came from, what motivated you? If you want to share your feelings, I'll support you if you want me to.
We can't understand other people until we understand what motivates us. Why we do the things we do. Why we say the things we say.
I believe that I responded to that twice already. My "feelings" are very simple, and probably do not have anything to do with some kinds of "issues" or "needs." I simply saw a pattern of bickering among the members. (I am afraid that you will find issue with the word "bickering" and maybe even "afraid.")
I used to be a counselor at a middle school. The 12-13 year olds would get upset at one another an say something like "Ann told Nancy that Bill said that I told John A, B and C, and when Nancy talked to Steve, he told Bill that I said D, E and F, but really it was Joe that said G, H and I." And on and on. That ALWAYS lead nowhere until the parties just spoke from the heart without trying to be right or wrong. I was not responding to particulars of each sentence or to particular people, but rather to the patterns as I saw them.
It is also like seeing someone who has been divorced 5 or 6 times. He will get into the details and circumstances of each situation. Stepping back, it is easy to see a pattern.
I WAS SAYING "STOP" TO THAT!
GET IT?
Tokyojim:
Oh, please don't say I have "anger" issues..... (I can see that coming....)
rosencrantz:
Good grief - you've come back every hour to post - have you been missing me? Are you trying to taunt me into giving you something else to vent about???
I wouldn't like to let you down. 'Issues'!!!????? You're the only one using psychobabble here.
And you have absolutely no idea what it does to your mind to be brought up by someone suffering with a personality disorder. Otherwise you'd understand what's going on here and YOU wouldn't be so spiteful.
Really, really stupid.
Listen and learn.
R
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