Dear Beth,
I think "turning things around" is one of the hallmark characteristics of being an N. I really do.This makes us feel"crazy", too sensitive, horrible people, worthless, valueless etc etc.
This characteristic was one of the hardest to see in my mother. It is so life effacing. It is so robbing of your very dignity and core. It is just a "wiping their shoe" on you.. This characteristic allows them to "steal" your guts. Then when you doubt your very reality, they fill you up with what they want.Then you are lost and it is very slow going to get back.
Beth-- you see it. You are doing great. It still really,really,really hurts though. Is your sister the 'golden child?
BTW. I am so profoundly in awe that you can speak Russian----- Love Ami