Feeling Like The Crazy One...

[gratitude28]

Well, I win the stupid award of the week... lol... sort of...

Before I decided to disengage (before I wrote to you all here the other day), I asked my sister if she had heard from my parents. She hesitated and said yes (I knew she had - they talk to her all the time). So now they are calling me all the time... as if I were neurotic and needing their attention... So my sister told them I was feeling that they didn't talk to me appaerntly (my mother said she had talked to her when she called...). Ugh. I was trying to make a point to my sister and it bit me on the ass. She will never accept what is in front of her. That would mean admitting she is like them.

So I feel like a whiny dork, just the way they wanted me to be...

Thanks for being here, all of you.

Love, Beth

[bigalspal]

Beth,
You know, we just can't ever win! I think what was so hard for me to understand is -THAT THIS JUST DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! This N thing they have is so not logical.
I have always had a heighted sense of fair & unfair because of the abuse.
It always bit me on the ass, too.
My NMother would always say things like "Toughen up!" So I would. Then she would say what a mean person I was! ARRRRGGH!
Thank Goodness I found this board!
Take care,
Bigalspal

[gratitude28]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((bigals))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you. You are exactly right. I can just imagine them saying now how "sensitive" I am or some shit like that. That's why I feel so dumb. It AMAZES me how they can turn this stuff around.
Love, Beth

[Ami]

Dear Beth,
   I think "turning things around" is one of the hallmark characteristics of being an N. I really do.This makes us feel"crazy", too sensitive,  horrible people, worthless, valueless   etc  etc.
   This characteristic was one of the hardest to see in my mother. It is so life effacing. It is so robbing of your very dignity and core. It is just a "wiping their shoe" on you.. This characteristic allows them to "steal" your guts. Then when you doubt your very reality, they fill you up with what they want.Then you are  lost and it is very slow going to get back.
   Beth-- you see it. You are doing great. It still really,really,really hurts though. Is your sister the 'golden child?
  BTW. I am so profoundly in awe that you can speak Russian-----                    Love   Ami

[Stormchild]

Hey Beth,

This is what they do. It's like their sole reason for living, so of course they're good at it.

Probably they have little N-obel Prize Ceremonies where they give one another prizes in various categories of doing this.

Just imagine yo mamma going to get her little trophy in Stockholm for Twisted Logic 2007...

[JanetLG]

Storm,

I love this:

"Probably they have little N-obel Prize Ceremonies"

Wonder what they have as the trophies? Mirrors?

Janet

[gratitude28]

Har har har N-obel - I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

Yep, sis is the Golden Child...

Mirrors as trophies LOLOLOL Except for my mother it would be some piece of jewelry guaranteed to "make everyone jealous."

Thanks again all for the help and humor.

Love, Beth

[JanetLG]

Ooh, yes, jewellery as prizes...but even then, it wouldn't be QUITE right, would it? They'd have to moan about it later, wouldn't they? About how it didn't match what they wanted to wear it with, or it wasn't flashy enough, or something? Never happy with gifts, are they?

Janet