Before I start this story I want you to know that neither my D or my niece are N's. They are 21 and 22 years old but I wanted to jump through telephone lines or wish I was a fly on the wall.
They went away for the weekend with two other roomates for the weekend. My D said she would be home on Tues.
My sister called me and said I guess the girls will be tired and hope they don't have a lot of traffic coming home on Mon.
I said, no Tues, she said her D told her Monday because she had classes on Tues (summer for extra credit that my sister paid alto of money for) and was getting upset that her D possibly lied to her. I told her wait maybe I screwed it up maybe it is Monday (thought I was getting senile or something) I'll call my D to find out. I called my D and she said I told you 100 times TUES!!e
Tues Morning I get a call from my sister can I call my D because her D was not answering the phone. I said if you D is not answering neither will mine they are probably still sleeping. Leave a meassage they will call when they wake.
I assumed that my sister straightened things out and knew they were coming home Tues.
She was all upset and said No Deb my D left at 2Am so she could be home for her morning class on Tues at 9AM.
I said what? Who left with her? My D didn't tell me that. It's a (4 hour ride) and my D and her D are very close would not let one go without the other or alone. My sister told me she spoke to her D about maybe 5am or 6 that she was on the road (so she said) so my sister let her go because she did not want her to talk while driving and she was alone.
Now she was calling to see if she arrived home OK to no answer and started to panic that she was not answering and worried something happened to her on the road.
I calmed her down and said wait a minute this is not adding up and I bet she is still at the beach. Let me call my D and I'll call you back.
Called my D and said how are you, how's the vacation, having fun? She went on and on talking. The way she was talking my niece was there with them. I said wait doesn't my niece have classes this morning? She said I guess she missed it then.
Called back my sister told her they are lying my niece was there. My sister was so gaslighted that she still believed my niece was on the road and my D was confused.
I called my D back, now I'm annoyed, and you could tell by my voice. I said the buck it up kiddo you better tell your cousin to call her mother. My D now says she's not here. I said what you just told me she was going to miss class. She said No I did not. I told her I know what you said, I'm not crazy. She repeated that maybe I got confused. Now I'm thinking I lost my mind. Now I'm being gaslighted.
Called my sister back and told them they are BOTH lying. That my niece was scared about missing class and my D was covering her A*ss. I knew that is what they were doing.
My niece still didn't call my sister 30 Min's later and my sister was crying and upset not knowing if my niece was on the road really or down there still. She was afraid something happened. Now I'm pissed at the game playing.
I called my D back and got her answering service. Now I know they are trying to figure things out phone call to phone call.
I said LOOK I know my niece is there. This is not between me and you but I want the truth this is your chance so I can tell her mother what is going on she is panic stricken. My D said she left.
Called my sister back and said they are lying through their teeth. She was so upset that her D still did not call.
Now here's the part that I have learned so well from being with an N on how to work what I need worked. I had to dance with them. I was so disgusted that I had to do my own gaslighting and manipulation to get the truth.
I called my D back and told her my sister was going to call the police. She called back and said, why because if someone is in class and they can't answer the phone the police should be called? I said yes especially when they haven't arrived home from far away. She got mad and annoyed and I could tell by her voice that they were losing the covering up battle. My niece was there and still haven't left.
All I wanted was the truth. Both my sister and myself were scared to death if we were wrong and she did leave she may be broken down or hurt on the road.
They had so many inconsistencies. My niece left who was one of the drivers. The other girl who stayed was a driver too so they were going to come home with her. But my niece told my sister the other girl left a day before her. So that left my D and the other roomate no way to get home. My D said the other girl was still there to drive.
See what I mean.
Now I pulled out the big manipulation *Gun* that I had first hand experience at. I was so mad that I had to do this.
I called left a message the police was being called and I was going to my nieces apt to see if she was there and to her class.(because my H took my car to work) guess they figured there was no way for me to get to my nieces apt.
I waited about 10 Min's and called back left a message for my D to call me on my cell if she needs me I'm on my way out that my ride was here and hung up.
I had no intentions of leaving my house. I called my sister back told what I had done and said you should be getting a call in about 10 Min's.
Sure as hell my niece called her. She told her she had lied because she was afraid but really had left about 7am to come home.
Watt????? I said to my sister. She's driving alone? She can't be. How would the other girls get home. Either they all left or they are still lying. She said my niece said she was alone. Meanwhile I get a call through from my D. I gave her no time to say anything. I said I'll call you back, my ride is here gotta go! all I heard was where you going mom, I said gotta go and hung up. I was not going anywhere I just wanted them to think that. Now they were the ones panic stricken. They want to play,so we'll play.
Ugh!
Now I call back and say to my D. Where are you? I'm on the road. With who? My niece. Did you just leave. Yes.
She did not leave at 7am. No we just left. Be carefull tell my Niece to be safe I'll call her mother and left her know you are all together and she is not alone. I'll talk to you later.
When my D got home I questioned her. She said my niece did not tell them that she did not tell her mother she would be missing classes that is why the stories were so crazy. When they found out they were trying to cover her but it was all crazy at this point.
I do understand how close they are and they were trying not to rat the other but I told her you needed to tell the truth when you seen how out of control it went and how her mother/aunt was panic stricken. That was not fair and not right.
I said you may be very close cousins but you forget we are very close sisters. She said she told her we (knew) stop getting them involved and to tell the truth because now I was on my D's case and putting pressure on her. They also had to leave in the morning when they had no clue that my niece didn't tell her mom originally that she was staying till Tues. So they were mad at that.
What a mess it was.
I still have to go through a 12 year old. I really might be senile by the time he hits his 20's so I won't know the differece then.
I so wanted to kick both their a**es. I hated the game and hated that I had to manipulate them both to get the truth.
Shew! whooboy! I'm tired took a lot out of me. Had to remember I was their age once too.
At least they gave in with true remorse. I guess that's the difference.
Love
Deb
