Deadly Emotions

[Overcomer]

I went to the doc and for the first time in my life I have high blood pressure.  I picked up the book DEADLY EMOTIONS and realized that this probably happened because of years of anger and resentment.  She told me that if I had not blown up at my mom in 2001 I would have gotten cancer or some other disease.  She told me we need to release those emotions so they do not eat us alive!  Emotional eating.   Fibromyalsia.  Cancer.  Ulcers.  Does anyone else suffer physically because of your emotions?

[Motherless]

Overcomer...

Yup, count me in too.

I have high blood pressure and also GERD. I ended up in the hospital -- they thought I was having a heart attack or a gall bladder attack.
My Nmother was successfully turning every ounce of acid in my stomach into gallons. It could have morphed into something worse (liike esphogeal cancer or ulcers).  That was on Christmas Eve, yet another holiday she has ruined for me.
Am still taking a script for it now to keep it at bay.

[lighter]

I have terrible phyisical symptoms. I worry about what this stress is doing to me.  I can feel it's detrimental.  I can feel it's tweeking things and compromising my immune system.  Interfering with proper function of lungs, muscles and organs (including brain.) 

[sweetgrass]

Being new to the site, i really don't know if i should express my opinion to the asked question. Hoever, this particular thread is of special insterest to me. I used to think of myself as a "health hog."

For those that may not know, I found out my that my XNb/f, had been involved with another woman. I confronted him, and he has taken off, Abandoned me. Poof!! gone like a thief in the night. This is after a 3yr relationship. The stress that I have experienced the pass 3-4 weeks have been unreal. Not sleeping, unable to concentrate, dreams, crying, even an anxiety attack on last week. So YES, I feel 100% sure that we are all experiencing "deadly emotions."

Before my b/f left me, when he was around, I would be nervous inside sometimes. I always had to make sure I didn't bring up anything that would make him mad, or get him upset about anythin. Hoping that he would be in a good mood when he was with me, or that he was pleased with me. When he wasn't I would go back to not sleeping, eating, ect... sometimes I would be so upset I would not go to the gym, walk, or do anything. Some days I felt I was just paralyzed.

I honestly believe that if my body went Thur all of these negative emotions for 5,10,15,yrs My body would be a physical, emotional, mess.

So to answer the questions, yes, I too am affected.

Sweet

[Hopalong]

I'm so sorry, Sweetgrass.
It hurts.

But I'm honestly glad for you, that you're free of him.
(You may not be glad yet, but I promise you will be.)

I remember after marrying my Nxh², the wedding night was a nightmare (Mr. Hyde came out, I didn't know what Nism was then). The horror I felt I'll never forget.

I think we can be remarkably resilient and rebuild our health though. But I'm a believer in not being too heroic about enduring stress. When it's getting to be too much, go to your doctor and say, it's too much!

Or drink a lot of chamomile and spend a lot of time with kind people. Whatever it takes...

But trust your body, that if you keep giving it wholesome healthful food, fresh air, and regular walks, your panic will calm, your grief will pass, and your body will reward you by healing itself.

Sometimes, it can go too long, and people do have their health break down. But prevention is more powerful than cure, imo.

Hang in there. Keep breathing. Endure it but don't feed it.
You are WELL rid of him!

Hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Sweetgrass:

Your story is so familiar.  Sometimes I think the "thief in the night" mentality N's have, the joy they get from rubbing our faces in humiliation and disrespect is impossible to overcome.  Then I realize that they're always going to be thieves and that's prolly not going to work out real well for them.  They'll get old.  They're behavior will catch up.  They can't love anyone and they sabotage themselves.  It's sad really. 

It doesn't have to continue to be sad for us. 

You're lucky to be rid of this N so easily. Though you may not feel lucky right now, you are if he doesn't draw you back in again and again.  They usually do when they get short on attention.  It's always the same.  They don't change.  Only the people involved with them change. 

[Overcomer]

I remember a similar incident.  When my husband and I were on our honeymoon (cruise) Mr. Hyde came out.  We were sitting at the bar and "boing" who was this man?  For the first year of our marriage I endured drunken verbal abuse and finally at one year I pointed to the door and said, "Walk through it!!!"  We now have a pretty good marriage (except for the occasional drunken tyrade - which now I just walk away and tell him to shut up..............I feel I got back my control...........)  The alcoholism is another subject.....he added to my already stressful life with kids and MOM!~!!  I felt ripped off because I thought I would get a support system from him but he just added to the mess.................so if I hadn't got out of debt and didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel with my weight and another light with my mom backing away from our business, I would be in high stress!!  But it is almost like I am up for parole soon...............I'm getting out for good behavior........hopefully my ailments will lessen, too!!

My aunt told me my grandma had high blood pressure until she divorced my grandfather (abusive) and then it went right back down to normal!!

[Ami]

The expressions like," breaking my heart" or ripping up my guts are there because they are true(IOM).
 Pastor Henry Wright wrote a book called "A More Excellent Way." He has a retreat in Georgia where people come to heal from disease. All he uses is Scripture. People heal from all kinds of diseases by doing things like giving up resentment,bitterness and hatred.
   He said that our body was not built to carry these"deadly emotions." The human was meant to give up his burden to  God.
  It is an amazing book. You can also see him interviewed on Sid Roth's T.V. show.
   As I heal, my body feels better.Now, I have to figure out to do with H. I don't know if I can be well with him. I guess I will watch and see. There should be no rush, i guess.  Kelly, I am sorry to hear about your HBP. With an N, what do you do? You can;t rage back or it is double crazy so you just keep it in.Keeping it in hurts you. I am trying to figure out how to deal with emotions,also    Love Ami

[tayana]

I have GERD and IBS which are both made worse by constant stress.  I also have problems with anxiety and at times that causes me to have little heart palpitations.  According to my doctor, I'm perfectly healthy; I just don't feel healthy most of the time.

[sweetgrass]

Lighter, this is not the first time he has left me. He left me last May for the first time. I had NC for 4 months, then one day out of the clear he called??

This time he has left to pursue his new"Young Love." Since she just happened to be 13-14 yrs younger than he is, I am sure he is getting LOTS of SUPPLY. She is also listening to all of his boring stories/lies in awe.

There is a tinny-tiny part of me that thinks he may call me again. His exit is not one he personally chose. I had suspicions he had been fooling around. When I had all the FACTS, I dropped it all on him. You know how smart they think they are. He listened turned and got into his car. I know he was shocked! I'm sure he wondered, and still is how I found out. After all, he was having such a good time seeing the both of us.

In one sense, I sort of have the upper hand on him. He really doesn't know what to do, and I am sure he isn't sitting around trying to find an open door to me. His Supply is endless at this point. So I really don't know 100% what to think, or how to position myself for the future????

Sweetgrass

[Ami]

[qNow I am working on my core strength.  All of it helps.  My therapist said that, for me, the exercise would be fine replacement for antidepressants and she felt that that was the reason I was able to forego them.
 Dear CB,
   When you say work on your core do you mean try to get strong in who you are? I use exercise as an anti depressant(self prescribed).                                     

[lighter]

In one sense, I sort of have the upper hand on him. He really doesn't know what to do, and I am sure he isn't sitting around trying to find an open door to me. His Supply is endless at this point. So I really don't know 100% what to think, or how to position myself for the future????

Sweetgrass

You have lots of ways to position yourself Sweetgrass. 

I'd suggest choosing the one that restored your integrity, dignity and boundaries.

Oh ya, the one that sent him packing like the unworthy pig he is.  You don't need treatment like that. 

[Hopalong]

Hi Sweetgrass,

You could not position yourself.

You could just be yourself.

(Your new, getting-unhooked, healthier self...)

Eh?

Hops

[Bella_French]

Oh yes! Being around people who are toxic have a huge physical afftect on me. I think the main symptoms for me are being totally sapped of energy,  and experiencing immune problems generally. But I've had really bad stomache problems too. I totally believe that toxic people can cause you serious diseases like cancer.

[poetprose]

I grew up carrying more baggage than the turn style at the airport:-)))
in fact if you can picture that turn style with all the suitcases and carry ons, that was me!!

only it was all internal....... you could not see the baggage, only the symptoms, emotional, phsycological , and deffently physcial


all the deadly emotions I carried for years and years however brought me to where I am today........ and that is with a new way of thinking and believing and seeing life and the people therein.......

I am actually grateful for my breakdown...... it is like the breakdown or the breakup ( deadly emotions), gave me a new life..

I am living my life in honor of my mom, who died at 47 , she died exactly one year after the death of her daughter, ( my sister)the doctors say she died of pancriatic cancer, and this is true, but I know there is more to it......I believe the cancer set in because of a broken spirit***

abuse is a killer.......... and it is like a virus, it plants itself in families and destroys them......

today I WORK for joy ,  live in the light , cultivate and attitude of gratitude

and thank God for another day