Ami,
When she said she wasn't coming this morning, the conversation went a little like this:
Her: I've decided not to go on Sunday. I don't want to rain on your parade.
Me: You can if you want.
Her: No, I told your dad we weren't going to go.
Me: Well, you can come. I don't care.
I knew the more I insisted she come, the more she would refuse. So I guess that was that reverse psychology.
I generally don't worry too much about M's obsessions. He outgrows them, and some of it, I think is a way of dealing with loneliness and having no one to play with except animals. When I was his age, I had all sorts of imaginary playmates. I went through all sorts of "magical thinking." I didn't have friends, none that could come and play at any rate. I was always punished for wanting to go to friends' houses. I really see myself in the way M thinks. I was even still engaged in the "magical thinking" when I was a teenager and coming home to an empty house, or anytime I was doing housework. I would imagine a whole scenario and "write a story" in my head. My mother preferred that I come home and start directly on my homework, but since she wasn't there, I usually played outside or watched TV or other relaxing things. If I was outside, then I was into the magical thinking in my own little world, just like M.
As I said before, my childhood was marked by a strong sense of loneliness and a lot of fear of doing the wrong thing. That continued well into my teens, even when my friends lived close by. They never came to my house. We always went to theirs. I was always "on the alert" for something that would make my mom angry. I don't think I ever got to have anything resembling a normal childhood.
