Thinking V Feeling - A subtopic of Write's MB test.

[Anonymous]

This topic is a the result of thinking, reading, and then thinking some more about the responses to write's topic on the MB type test. Thankyou write, this has been so interesting. I'm not hi-jacking your thread, this is yours too. I just hoped maybe this part could be explored seperately and alongside.   This has got me intrigued, and I suspect I'll clog up the other thread, going on and on.

I noticed so so so many F's here. So I hunted through some old notes on Jung who categorised the types early last century. It was much later the mother and daughter team (MB) created the written tests.

This is what I found.

From Jung,"It took me quite a long time to discover that there is another type than the thinking type....there are other people who have to decide the same things that I have to decide, but they do it in an entirely different way...they have entirely different values... they are the Feeling types."

So the fascinating thing for me is that so many here are Feeling types. That makes sense in the light of why we are here. We've all been affected by someone's NPD or N traits. And for those of us who married one, we chose them. Smart move? Unlike those of us who had them for parents, who didn't choose them. But then look at the number of us who had them for parents, and then we went and did the dumbo thing and married one to. That's me. I get the dunce's cap 2 times running.

But why did I do that? Why did others here do that? Is it cause we've based our decisions so much on our feelings. I've sometimes thought about the people, the potential partners' for my N who threw my N back once they got to know him. What was the difference betweeen them and me. Was I running on how he made me feel? No not always cause I saw soon after I met him that he had some pretty gross qualities. He didn't always make me feel good. And I wasn't stupid. I could see he had problems. What about them, the ones who threw him back. I knew a couple of them. And yes, I do think think that they were the thinking types. And according to the MB you are either T or F. and the rest are opposites as well.

I v E
S v N
T v F
J v P

So me being feeling based all those years, what had I based my decision on. What were my feeling based values that led me to accept someone like my N mother as my husband.

Was it because my thinking side was oh so underdeveloped? I wouldn't have thought so. Not my IQ anyway. Was it that I just didn't think it through? I think I did think it through, in my feeling way, I 'felt it through'. Hey. new language developing here!

You never hear anybody say, "I have to go and feel this through."

Most probably developed in childhood. 'Don't think, don't feel, don't talk. SSHHHH! Be very quiet, and don't say a word or else.' So I just went away somewhere and felt and felt and felt. And got so in tune with my feelings and developed each and every one of them by name. I used to ask myself as a kid how did I feel today. I know, that's sad isn't it.

That's as much time as I can spend on this thought at the moment. Sleepless nights, toothache, root canal yesterday and assignments to complete. But I'll be back. Thanks for tolerating my incomplete ramblings. And once again write, thanks so much for the topic. That's what's so great about this place. I always get some brain food every time I pop in.

Guest

[Wildflower]

Great thread!  Only have time for a quickie, though.

You never hear anybody say, "I have to go and feel this through."

You will now .

Thanks Guest

Wildflower

[clj_writes]

Hi, all.  I find the idea of becoming an "F" because you went off and felt to be interesting.  In my family, it was clear that feelings weren't valued.  In fact, they were essentially banned.  I couldn't have gone off and felt if I had wanted to.  I simply didn't know how!  More than likely I'd go off and "not feel".  Thinking was king (and queen) and rationality was exalted.  Everything was a contest of your mind and your wits.  Feelings were for inferior folk.  People who swore and women who drank beer likely fell into this same "inferior" category.  (Sorry, this is old programming--I don't believe this crap any more.)  Or should I say sh*t?  

I guess turning out as an INTP makes sense in my case.  I still think I'm likely to move more toward F as I allow my feelings to arise and be felt more and more.

[Anonymous]

Gee I'm finding this interesting, or is it just the effect of the painkillers for the root canal? Nope, I'm definitely finding it interesting.

Hi, clj writes. That is too cool. I got another idea from your idea that you got from my idea. So if I measure high in Feeling does or could that then mean that my feelings are already always idling away on high?

Could that mean then that I may always walking close to the edge, emotionally?

If so, then could that mean that I, if I'm an F type need to learn more thinking ways, and not more feeling ways? (Imagine  F mixed with ESP  What a roller coaster that would be.)

Anyway, if I'm already high in Feeling I proabably need to get the thinking decision making working a lot more in me, right. Aim to be balanced. If I've been high in Feeling decision making, I'd better get busy getting higher in Thinking decision making.

I wonder if it's possible to be both high on feeling and high on thinking. Maybe this can be achieved. Maybe that then becomes the rare and totally together androgynous mind that some pure greats have had.   How cool!

Imagine if I'm already high on Feeling, and not developing or changing to thinking. And if all I pursued were more ways to be more feeling in decision making and judgement. And to work to be more in touch with my feelings!!  

I really enjoyed that line of thinking. Now I'll just mosey on out and get a cuppa, come back and do some work on this assignment, (emoticon for guilt)  and just let these ideas simmer away in the background, or should I say 'feel it through'.

I'll be back.

Guest

[clj_writes]

Dear Guest,
From what I've read/heard, as people mature they often move more toward the center on certain characteristics such as F and T.  I found it somewhat alarming that between my first and second formal evaluations when I, already extreme on I, N, and T, moved even farther out in each of those categories.  This was ten years ago or so, though, and the bulk of my personal growth has occurred since that time so I'm guessing I've moved more toward center on the N and T, anyway.  The "I" may have gotten more extreme as I see even more clearly how much of my energy truly comes from within.

Of course, there isn't a right answer on any of this stuff and if we were all the same it would be sooooo boring.  So even if I do not become more F, I can certainly learn more from all the wise F's here!  

Thanks for your posts!  Hope your root canal pain passes quickly....

[rosencrantz]

Hi Guest - Would this help???

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/tt/t-articl/mb-simpl.htm

It defines what the MBTI means by 'feeling' and 'thinking'.

You know, I just have a feeling that (well, I would have a 'feeling'!) that Ns choose the NFs rather than the other way around.  The sensitive are so much easier to manipulate and influence without it being noticed.  

I'd take a guess that a T can say logically "this N is not good for me" and act on it but Fs get all worked up about their values - being understanding, caring, concerned, etc.

So if we want to be true to our 'preference' then we need a new set of values.  Being willing to be a 'Persecutor' in order to get off the merry go round seems to be one of them!!!!  

R

[write]

You know, I just have a feeling that (well, I would have a 'feeling'!) that Ns choose the NFs rather than the other way around. The sensitive are so much easier to manipulate and influence without it being noticed.

A big part of INFJ/P personality combination is wanting to do good in the world too, a great ideal but only if you're selective about it!

[Anonymous]

Hi Guest - Would this help???

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/tt/t-articl/mb-simpl.htm

It defines what the MBTI means by 'feeling' and 'thinking'.

You know, I just have a feeling that (well, I would have a 'feeling'!) that Ns choose the NFs rather than the other way around.  The sensitive are so much easier to manipulate and influence without it being noticed.  

I'd take a guess that a T can say logically "this N is not good for me" and act on it but Fs get all worked up about their values - being understanding, caring, concerned, etc.

So if we want to be true to our 'preference' then we need a new set of values.  Being willing to be a 'Persecutor' in order to get off the merry go round seems to be one of them!!!!  

R

Thanks for the link Rosencrantz. I will enjoy going there in some reading time over the Easter Break.

Your comment made me think maybe that's why it's good if you're F to have lot's of T friends to bounce our ideas off. And vice versa. I know my hide's been saved more than once by an opposite view from somebody being expressed just in the nick of time, so that I could embrace it.

Maybe it's in our relationships that we're meant to,(no, meant sounds too pre-ordained for me, so I replace it with), can find and access the good that's missing or low in us.

And your comment about the sensitive ones being easier to manipulate. I agree with you 1110%, yet I struggle with it, isn't that curious? Being sensitive and being manipulated - it somehow seems a contradiction. One would think that being sensitive, or should I say appropriately sensitive, would lead one to recognise manipulation immediately.

I guess it depends on the context and use of the word sensitive. I'm probably linguistically ignorant and being stupidly pedantic and a pain in the arse here, so I'll stop now. But can I say one more thing  

Now Rosencrantz, even though you're not here, you say, "Go on" (eyes rolling accompanied by a bored sigh)

I've noticed that some people lay claim to and say, "I'm a sensitive caring feeling type. A real softie." And you know they can are cruel insensitive jerks who rough handle others and can't see it. And they're also the ones you can hear them squealing from the moon if they're even mildly mishandled by anyone. I can think of a few people I know like this, and they definitely don't see it .

One of the worst N's I've ever known really believed he was a sensitive feeling type who was misunderstood by the world (where' the bucket, I gotta chuck) and even cried on my shoulder for himself more than once. Yes he was sensitive and caring. Extremely, full-time, sensitive and caring about himself and who or what affected him! But that was as far as his extreme sensitivity and concern went.

I think it's why I mistrust anyone now who tells me how sensitive and caring they are! My antennae activate, and I go on silent watch. Humming away in the back of my brain I'm thinking, "Right-y-ho matey, you've now got me on alert. I didn't care before whether you were a sensitive or insensitive type. But now I'm suspicious that you're trying to guide and lead my perception of you, I'm on guard. Why do you need or want me to believe that you are a sensitive, caring type? I'll keep that in mind in future and watch and see just how sensitive and caring you really are. And thanks for the warning? I've been emotionally raped enough."

Yah, I find ze vord zenzitive to be a very tricky vord indeed. Now, vhere is mien monicle? Glad to talk with you Rosencrantz.


Guest.

Disclaimer: On re-reading this post I realised that some may feel I'm hinting or trying to make some furtive point. No! NO! No! I absolutely, positively, definitely was NOT referring to any of my esteemed colleagues here when talking about this 'sensitive' stuff. I'm just talking here, and I feel safe to talk about it with Rosencrantz, and the effect it has on me when I hear it.  Phew, glad I caught that little mozzie before it escaped and bit somebody.