Survival Behaviors Inventory
Directions: For each survival behavior, rate your level of exhibiting it specifically as you address the implementing of the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyles in your life. Read the description first before you rate the behavior. Use the following rating scale:
1 = Never 2 = Rarely 3 = Sometimes 4 = Frequently 5 = Almost Always
( 1) 1 2 3 4 5 Refusal to Grow Up - Being Irresponsible
By your thinking, feelings or actions you let others know that you have no intention to "grow up" and think, feel or act responsibly like an "adult." You have probably never been able to have a real childhood and you feel that it is your time now for others to "take care of you" as if you were a child again and you are waiting for others to do what is necessary for you to implement the principles of this program in your life. You want others to do it for you. By being irresponsible you can avoid being accountable for anything which might go wrong in the implementation of the elements of this program in your life. You can then point the finger of blame at the others who were responsible for the balanced lifestyles processes being put into practice in your life if you are not successful.
( 2) 1 2 3 4 5 Conflict with Authority Figures
By your thinking, feelings or actions you place yourself in direct conflict with authority figures in your life. In this program the "authority figure" could be the author of the book or the leader of your class or the support group in this program. You have been burnt by authority figures in the past and you reason that you are not going to let the perceived authorities in this program overwhelm and control you.
( 3) 1 2 3 4 5 Chip on Your Shoulder
This is the "tough guy" approach of thinking, feeling or acting which challenges others to take the first move to try to get the chip off your shoulder. This is a sign of your unresolved past hurt and pain. You find yourself challenging the tenants of the program. You find yourself challenging the other members of your support group or group leader and you appear ready for a fight at any moment and find it difficult to relax with this program, its tenants, principles and the people associated with it.
( 4) 1 2 3 4 5 Lack of Emotional Empathy
This is a pattern of thinking, feeling and acting based on the inability to be open to the feelings of others so as to prevent getting involved with them at an emotional level. This is a way to protect yourself from being vulnerable to being hurt in relationships if you get too close. This impacts your ability to give and receive support in the support group which you have joined as you work with this program and it makes it difficult for you to "understand" the emotional component of this program. You feel lost when emotional issues are discussed in the book or in your group or class.
( 5) 1 2 3 4 5 Denial of Feelings or Pulling-In Feelings
This is a pattern by which you do not admit to having any positive or negative feeling about your past or current life. This is a way to protect yourself from pain, hurt, shame and upset. It also keeps you from experiencing enjoyment, pleasure and satisfaction in life. It makes it difficult for others, in the support group in this program, to relate to you since they can‘t get a clear picture of who you are by "pinning you down" on how you feel towards them or the program itself. The most unbalanced people in life often are those who deny that their binge or compulsive over- eating is based on their feelings. They tenaciously hold on to the belief that all they need to do, to lose weight and get thin, is to eat less which will control their binging and compulsive over- eating.
( 6) 1 2 3 4 5 Disassociation from Feelings
This is a pattern of becoming numb or disconnected from the feelings accompanying an event which is unpleasant, threatening, abusive or violent, uncomfortable or challenging to you. This pattern of dealing with your feelings enables you to terminate an association with the event so as to survive the event and get on with your life. In this program many of the issues raised have created for you discomfort and been challenging to you. You find yourself disassociating from the feelings of discomfort or being challenged by the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyles tenants. Many unhealthy food-based responses to emotions are based on disassociation from feelings and you are not even aware of it when it happens.
( 7) 1 2 3 4 5 Invisibility
This is the pattern of thinking, feeling and acting which helps you not to be seen, heard or attended to by others so that they do not focus any negative actions or behaviors your way. This helps you to protect yourself from future real or perceived hurt, pain or abuse by others. In this program when you act invisible your needs are not addressed and you do not experience the growth needed to be successful in changing your lifestyle. Your class or group leader and members of your support group do not know what you are thinking and feeling when you maintain your invisibility and cannot provide you the support needed as you tackle the changes in your relationship with food, exercise and handling emotions in food-less ways.
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1 2 3 4 5 Self-Medicating Behaviors
This is a pattern by which you medicate or anesthetize the pain, hurt, shame, suffering or emptiness you have experienced in life. In this program we know that compulsive and binge over-eating is a form of self-medicating. The pressure you have experienced as you address the tenants and principles of this program may have been so great that you self-medicated with food or some other form of addictive behavior. Self-medicating with food is an unhealthy way to deal with your emotions.
( 9) 1 2 3 4 5 Inability to Trust
This is a pattern of thinking, feeling and acting by which you do not allow yourself to trust anyone since you have trusted others in the past who eventually hurt and abused you. You are not willing to be taken advantage of nor hurt and abused by others in the future. You listen to the tenants of the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyles and find it difficult to trust that you will never have to diet again. You find it difficult to trust that you only need to change your relationship with food, exercise and dealing with emotions in foodless ways to gain a balanced lifestyle with the 3 Increases of Health, Happiness and Energy. You find it difficult to trust that you are a good person just the way you are and do not need to starve yourself to become thin so that you are "good enough." You find it difficult to accept the rational perspective in this program because it is so unlike the other diet and weight management programs you have tried in the past. You reason: "This program is out of sync with the other weight management and diet programs I have been in and how can I trust what it is telling me since it is so out of the mainstream diet thinking."
(10) 1 2 3 4 5 Playing it Safe - Avoiding Taking Risks
This is a pattern by which you "play it safe" and not take risks so that you are not hurt, abused or taken advantage of by others. Playing it safe keeps you feeling secure in a cocoon sheltered from the hazards and risks of life and hopefully prevents you from making mistakes or failing by the decisions and actions you take in your life. You choose to "play it safe" in this program and do not attempt to implement the changes necessary to develop a new relationship with food, exercise and handling emotions in food-free ways. You are stuck in your "diet mentality" and work at starving yourself so that you can get thin and then be "good enough" to yourself and others. You lack the rational insight to realize and trust that this program, its author, your group or class leader and the members of your support group have nothing to gain and will not take advantage of you if you implement the Balanced Lifestyles system in your life and are successful in your efforts.
(11) 1 2 3 4 5 Self-Containment - False Pride
This is a pattern of thinking, feeling or acting by which you try to convince yourself and others that you do not need anyone else to help you do what you want to do in your life. This keeps you from accepting the support from others in this program. Your attitude of: "I know I can do it on my own" keeps you from being open to support, advice and assistance from the leaders of your class or group, from the author of this program and the members of your support group. This form of pride leaves you open to feeling more alone, abandoned and isolated as you face implementing this program‘s system in your life.
(12) 1 2 3 4 5 Mask Wearing - People Pleasing
This is a pattern of behaviors which hides from others how you are really feeling to prevent real or imagined abuse, rejection, non-approval or condemnation from those who would be offended by your honest assessment, judgment or reaction. You are wearing masks and pleasing others by keeping silent about how you feel about the tenants and principles of the program. You find them either too hard to accomplish or too simple to be all you need to do, to gain a balance in your life. You shy away from honest statements to yourself or others of how you are reacting to what is being said in this program so as not to offend anyone.
(13) 1 2 3 4 5 Running Away
This is the pattern of thinking, feeling or acting by which you run away in your head or in reality to avoid having to face any hurt, pain, abuse, suffering, anxiety, stress or tension. The unpleasant realities presented in the Tools for a Balanced Lifestyles Program have you so befuddled at this time in the program that you are contemplating running away so that you can get to a safe place from the new, challenging and risky tenants and principles involved. You have your plans ready for a quick exit as soon as the heat gets too unbearable for you.
CONTINUED ON NEXT POST