Hey Bigalspal,
BTW – thanks for the compliment on the screen name – and yes I think we all do definitely deserve some magical thinking sometime. I hope you had a nice “date” with Jack the other day.
When I was in second grade, we had a pet caterpillar in school that we watched as it turned into a butterfly. That summer I decided I was going to catch some caterpillars and watch them turn into butterflies. I collected about 5 of them, made a home for them in a tank – complete with mud, grass, branches, and a little pond. I watched them, made sure they had enough water and food, and waited. One day I came downstairs and my dad had my tank on the porch. As I stood there asking him what he was doing – he calmly raised a can of poison and sprayed all of them killing them. I asked him why – he told me they were a menace and that they needed to die. Now it isn’t like I lived on a farm where caterpillars can be a blight – it was a nice, quiet, suburban neighborhood. He proceeded to dump the little home I made out onto the ground and clean the tank out with the hose. I felt so guilty that I had led those little caterpillars to their death – at the time I thought if it hadn’t been for me, they would still be alive.
I know it sounds silly – but they were my pets (I had names for all of them).
About a year later, we were moving into a new home, and they told me they didn’t want my cat in the new home, so they told me they took "it" to a barn and dropped "it" off. I sometimes wonder if that is what they really did - to this day I am haunted by what really happened to her.
Ironically – when it came to dogs – it was the opposite. As children, we were never allowed sugar of any kind. Yet my mom used to keep a bag of chocolates in the freezer – it was for her and the dog (we weren’t allowed to have any – it is a wonder she didn’t poison the dog!)
You said –
That is just so far from my personal truth, that it really blew my mind.
This is so true for me – It is far from my personal truth too – and it still blows my mind. I have lived it and still can’t quite seem to get it.
Your momster's reaction to her grandaughter is just plain ugly. <<shaking head>> I don't have words except to say I am very sorry you have a momster like that.
Peace
