Ami - thanks for the frederick Douglas book. And I especially appreciate your understanding about the stress and like your comments. Thanks.
S+S - thans for your suggestions. I have turned to adrenal supplements. I found a great source Future Formuations from Dr. Wilson. But I have lasped these past two weeks. I definitely need to force myself back on them. I also learned that magnesium is a plus under stress and one means is epsom salt baths but I have been to somethinged to get those done too. But your response motivates me to do what I know works which is precisely what you recommend. Thank you.
Hops - I'll try the music. That is a very good suggestion. Thanks for empathizing. It makes a true, real difference. I am deeply, deeply thankful that you and the others care. And my spirit is joined with yours especially as your daughter comes to visit. I will keep calm, receptivity and joy in mind for your time together and as always I am watching the paper work pile dwindle piece by piece. Thanks.
Bigalspal - I have come to understand how life changing a state of grattitude is and yet I have allowed it to fall out of perspective. thank you for the reminder to put it back in the forefront. I am thankful for much including the fact that in spite of the overwhelming amount of stress I am not slipping into the abyss of depression. That is extraordinarily significant for me. Thanks for your reminder of grattitude.
Moonlight - as you know I so love the kindness and compassion the emanate from you. There is a powerful healing aura that extends across the miles right through this electronic medium and I am thankful to receive your gift.
Pennyplant - many thanks for you important voice.
The very biggest, most difficult events of my life were really where God was hardest at work. I was better off in each instance when I simply put one foot in front of the other and let God carry me along. There was always a larger force at work that turned out for the best.
I have kept this thought in mind over and over. I held onto it with strength and conviction before and during the hearing yesterday. I keeps me grounded and moving forward with hope and knowledge that the light will shine in the darkness.
The first time I saw it and understood it was the time several years ago when my oldest son almost killed himself. That was finally something too big for me to try to manage. So I didn't.
How extraordinarily kind of you to share this profoundly personal experience with me. I fully embrace the truth you can to understand and have generously shared with me.
[qutoe]Greed is powerful. So is fear. [/quote] Isnt' this true. I am convince that truth and good are more powerful but I am fully aware that greed and fear have a power the seems boundless. I chose at this time in my life to believe that their power is merely an appearance and that truth and good are in the end greater powers. I don't have the proof but I do chose to believe.
Overcomer - the judge is a coward and has been intimidated by my father's attorney. There are twists and turns daily. For now we are trying to get to release as of July 23rd. But there is so much more to come. There is great sorrow in this experience, tradgedy, waste of life and promise. But I agree with Pennyplant that there is a larger force at work that will turn out for the best. I am vigilant for that best. Heretofore I have focused on the darkside and railed against the pain and injustice. That simply exacerbated my suffering. It was a waste but I could not have known that at the time. Now I am transitioning into the more positive points in this universe. It is somewhat surprising that it is a difficult transition but there is only one way to move and that is forward - there is no promise in retreating into the pain or the darkness.
Thanks to you all. It is indescribably powerful to be able to open my computer in the midst of my struggle and loneliness and find support and encouragement. Two aspects that I believe are essential to life and two aspects that are missing for children of Ns that in fact the opposite of exists for children of Ns from their N parents - like the children of Zeus and black widows, they try to destroy us for their own narcissistic selves.
