Ami's children

[lighter]

Ami
Hero Member

Posts: 1190


    Re: Part Lazy,Part Overwhelmed
« Reply #35 on: July 21, 2007, 07:50:25 PM »   

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I have always been really close to both of them .My H has been trying to turn them against me since when they were little-- but it never worked until a few days ago.
   My H is livid at me b/c I have gotten strong(  lol ). My H is really, really angry  about this..My sons have witnessed everything. When my H had the chair over my head, Golden told me that he was standing there thinking that he may have to "beat him up" . This attitude (of being abusive to me)from Golden is new .
 For some reason,now, Golden has decided to try to abuse me ..He was seeing if he could be abusive to me like his father is However, it is not going to happen.  I have asked him to apologize for his fresh attitude( several times) and he won't.
   He is a biology major in college.He wants to go to medical school. Maybe, this is part of the 'modeling" that he is doing,with his father. My older   son  is halfway through a bachelors degree and he wants to  go into business. He has worked his way up from the counter to a Manager in a fast food restaurant. He is working and going to school.. They are sweet  people. For some reason, Golden decided that he wanted to try to abuse me
   The older and I see reality. We talk about N's and  other 'real issues. The younger will not face reality. The older and I talk about everything.We were just talking about betrayal in life and how it happens to everyone.
   It was nice to be honest with someone who you love and who loves you.
                                                                                                                         Love  Ami
 
   
 
« Last Edit: July 21, 2007, 09:16:10 PM by Ami »  Report to moderator    Logged 

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Oh ((AMI!))  How dreadful for you and your boys!

I hope you don't mind that I moved this post to it's own thread so Hops didn't lose her's?

First, I want to say a couple things about violence in the home.

Since you're trained to do therapy, you probably already know that the abuse children witness is just as damaging as if the abuse happened to them.  ((Golden and Older))  Poor dears.  Golden thinking he might have to beat up his daddy to save his mama:*(

If you get to the point of filing charges against your husband..... they will now include child endangerment or cruelty to children, forget which.  That is just so wrong..::shaking head::

I don't know what you're going to do but..... you don't have much more time to show your boys another way of relating to women.  It may be late but they're still at home and they can still witness something positive between you and their father. 

I'd like to think that your sons might learn something from watching you problem solve and find resolution within the family.  That would be a huge life's lesson if you could model that for them, IMO. I'm not going to tell you to get out but..... I don't want to think of you being afraid and abused, esp in front of your children. 

That's completely unnacceptable and you and your children deserve to be out from under that abuse.  There are laws that will help you and people who can give you advice. 

What does Older say about your marriage and the abuse?

[Ami]

I think that I am here  b/c of one thing--- Denial. When I see it written on a piece of paper,it does not seem"real". I am coming out of denial,now, It is painful and slow. I keep putting pieces of my life together and facing them.
  The problem is that I have not even gotten to the marriage part ,yet. I am facing denial about my childhood and my parents. If someone had an N mother and a father who was silent, they might understand how you hold all these emotions in your body and psyche. They have to come out. However,it hurts so badly when they do that you can only take them in small doses..
  I am healing in the doses that my body and mind can stand. When I get to the marriage part, then I will face this and do what I have to do,in practical terms.
 

[lighter]

I remember that paralyzing shock, ((Ami))

I hope you can start confiding in someone who can help you stay focused and out of danger. 

Telling is the first step to ending the abuse: ( 

Your focusing on the past..... when you and your children are in peril in the present. 

That concerns me for you. 

Try to keep your head where your feet are..... here in the present. 

At least till you get yourself safe, K?

SOOOO Glad you're going to that support group.

[Ami]

Thank you for helping me come out of denial, Lighter.                           Love   Ami

[lighter]

Thank you for helping me come out of denial, Lighter.                           Love   Ami

Ami..... is this the first time you've posted about the physical abuse here? 

I feel like maybe I've missed a few chapters or somethin.

[changing]

Ami-

You have always been so kind and supportive, even with what you are going through. It takes a special person to be able to honestly deconstruct their own life, flaws and all, as you have been doing so assiduously. You are admired, cared for, and appreciated. Please take good care of yourself.

Hugs,

Changing

[Ami]

Dear  Changing,
   That is one of the nicest things that anyone ever said to me------ THANK  YOU