Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

Just checking in this morning.

[sKePTiKal]

Hiya! As you can tell, I'm having a lazy morning so far...

time to walk away.... from the computer.... or I'll have another one of those "didn't get anything accomplished" days.

[BonesMS]

Hiya! As you can tell, I'm having a lazy morning so far...

time to walk away.... from the computer.... or I'll have another one of those "didn't get anything accomplished" days.

I hear ya.

[Hopalong]

Good for you for not going, Bones.

Great decision.

I know what it feels like to be smeared. It's painful.

But over time, I'm finding I don't feel hurt by it. I see the one doing it as really, seriously sick. Someone to avoid and have no contact with, and ultimately, just someone to pity.

Life cannot be good if the only thing driving one is to tear down someone else.

Glad you're out of her clutches forever, Bones.

Hops

[BonesMS]

Good for you for not going, Bones.

Great decision.

I know what it feels like to be smeared. It's painful.

But over time, I'm finding I don't feel hurt by it. I see the one doing it as really, seriously sick. Someone to avoid and have no contact with, and ultimately, just someone to pity.

Life cannot be good if the only thing driving one is to tear down someone else.

Glad you're out of her clutches forever, Bones.

Hops

Thanks, Hops.

I'm coming to grips with the fact that she really HATED me!

Bones

[Meh]

Bones, I think it's interesting that the PTSD is reduced in frequency by using this website as a place to talk about it. That's good to hear.

[BonesMS]

Bones, I think it's interesting that the PTSD is reduced in frequency by using this website as a place to talk about it. That's good to hear.

Thanks, M.B.

Bones

[BonesMS]

Feeling VERY crabby this morning about ALOT of things!   

[sKePTiKal]

I'm just crabby 'coz I woke up at 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep...

time for LUNCH, huh?

[BonesMS]

I'm just crabby 'coz I woke up at 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep...

time for LUNCH, huh?

For sure!  And it's not even noon yet!

[BonesMS]

I have a lot of difficulty understanding why some people act as if I am invisible.  I got snappish the other day when it happened again.

I had gone out to a dinner/meeting with some friends and, in spite of having an agenda, the meeting part dragged on longer than it should have because the president of our group tends to go off on tangents and yak.  As a result, the evening got later and later and I started feeling more and more tired.  In addition, the person, who had given me a ride, was also feeling even more tired because she was not feeling well.  When the waitress came in to see if we needed anything, I started to ask her for dessert and my check so that my ride and I could leave when we wanted to.  Before half of my sentence was out of my mouth, another member of our group talked over me and sent the waitress away!  I turned around to this other individual and snapped:  "I don't appreciate you speaking FOR me and making my decisions FOR me!"   

Bones

[sKePTiKal]

ooooo.... I hear ya!

But, the "others" can't read your mind you know. So, in those situations, I've decided that it's way OK for me to take care of myself - decide when I'm ready to take off... etc. I'm not a night-owl anymore and pay dearly for trying to be - headaches, ocular migraines, aches & pains - oh yeah, and crabbiness... so I let people have their little laugh about the "old lady" because I know someday, they'll know... too. It's kind of a compromise - yeah, I'd love to go out at night, but I turn into a pumpkin around 7:30 - 8pm. There's a class I'd love to take - it's over a few weeks - but the class time is 7 - 10 pm. My brain would be jello for most of the class and it wouldn't be worth it!!

[BonesMS]

ooooo.... I hear ya!

But, the "others" can't read your mind you know. So, in those situations, I've decided that it's way OK for me to take care of myself - decide when I'm ready to take off... etc. I'm not a night-owl anymore and pay dearly for trying to be - headaches, ocular migraines, aches & pains - oh yeah, and crabbiness... so I let people have their little laugh about the "old lady" because I know someday, they'll know... too. It's kind of a compromise - yeah, I'd love to go out at night, but I turn into a pumpkin around 7:30 - 8pm. There's a class I'd love to take - it's over a few weeks - but the class time is 7 - 10 pm. My brain would be jello for most of the class and it wouldn't be worth it!!

Thanks, P.R.

The thing that made me SO MAD was that I WAS ALREADY TALKING about what I needed, from the waitress, when this other individual injected herself into the middle of my conversation with the waitress and told her that the waitress didn't need to do anything yet and the waitress listened to her instead of HEARING what I was already vocalizing!

Bones

[BonesMS]

I read the following in "Dear Prudence" today.  Bride-zilla sounds like an N!!!  What do you think?


"Dear Prudence,
My wife and I have recently learned that we are going to have our first child. The pregnancy was unexpected. Nonetheless, this is wonderful news, except for one thing: The due date falls on the same day as my sister's wedding, which will be held eight hours from where we live. My sister loves being the center of attention, and we worry that she will think we are trying to steal the spotlight on her special day. We are almost certain that she will throw a fit when we tell her that we cannot attend her wedding, because she has a history of throwing temper tantrums over perceived slights. We feel terrible about the situation, but there's nothing we can do about it. Any tips on how to break the news so I'm not writing to you again in a year about my estrangement from my sister?

—Unexpectedly Expecting

Dear Unexpectedly,
If you have a sister who would have a hissy fit over the fact that the arrival of a niece or nephew is stealing the spotlight from "her day," I'm curious as to how she convinced some poor sap to marry her. First of all, stop feeling "terrible" that you're about to become parents. You didn't owe your sister a vow of abstinence during her "wedding season." And if you and your wife were to show up at the wedding, just think how your sister would react if your wife's water broke and made your sister slide down the aisle. The good news is your wife is pregnant; there's no bad news. Yes, it's unfortunate you will miss the wedding, but a simultaneous marriage and birth just means your family is in for an abundance of good fortune. There's nothing to say to your sister except that while you're so excited to become parents, you're sorry it means your wife will be in labor during the ceremony. But when your sister gets back from the honeymoon, you'll be able to introduce her to her niece or nephew. If you sister says one tantrumlike thing in response, then you say, "Sue, I'm going to pretend you never said that, and I'm going to hang up so you don't say anything else I'll regret hearing."

—Prudie"

[BonesMS]

Not sleeping much tonight.  Woke up at 11:00 PM and then again at 3:00 AM.