Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

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Certain Hope:
I hear you, Bones. It's perfectly understandable that you'd be tired of waiting for some reciprocity.

 I'm wondering... do you think that you've changed alot over the course of those seven years?

I mean, have your views/feelings about yourself, your needs and desires and expectations... have these taken new directions, with more fullness and depth?

That's how it's been for me and that's definitely disorienting at times... especially within the context of older relationships (from when I was the old me  :P)
Helps to take a fresh inventory, I think.

Also wondering... have you ever asked Blueberry Dude what is his goal in your relationship? If you want to share... and I'd sure understand if you don't... what was his response when you told him the facts of life in this last confrontation?

Love,
Carolyn

Hopalong:
((((((((((Bones))))))))))

Sounds like that really hurt.
Is it hurt beneath the anger?

I am dittoing all Carolyn's wonderful questions,
so just a hug for the hurt in the meantime...

love,
Hops

BonesMS:

--- Quote from: Certain Hope on June 03, 2008, 12:14:05 PM ---I hear you, Bones. It's perfectly understandable that you'd be tired of waiting for some reciprocity.

 I'm wondering... do you think that you've changed alot over the course of those seven years?

I mean, have your views/feelings about yourself, your needs and desires and expectations... have these taken new directions, with more fullness and depth?

That's how it's been for me and that's definitely disorienting at times... especially within the context of older relationships (from when I was the old me  :P)
Helps to take a fresh inventory, I think.

Also wondering... have you ever asked Blueberry Dude what is his goal in your relationship? If you want to share... and I'd sure understand if you don't... what was his response when you told him the facts of life in this last confrontation?

Love,
Carolyn

--- End quote ---

Thanks, Carolyn!

I'm hoping that I've grown some.  As for Blueberry Dude, I've asked him point-blank and I either get a blank stare or he'll respond with:  "I dunno".

Bones

BonesMS:

--- Quote from: Hopalong on June 03, 2008, 04:50:37 PM ---((((((((((Bones))))))))))

Sounds like that really hurt.
Is it hurt beneath the anger?

I am dittoing all Carolyn's wonderful questions,
so just a hug for the hurt in the meantime...

love,
Hops

--- End quote ---

Thanks, Hops!

I don't know what he wants from me and I'm tired of trying to figure it out.

Bones

Overcomer:
Bones:  I am with you!!  Seven years with a serial bitcher who I cannot please, who I walk on eggshells around, who is defensive and stupid.  I am on my way (mentally) out the door............

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