Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
Certain Hope:
Bones, do you love Mr. B?
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Certain Hope on June 13, 2008, 09:06:22 PM ---Bones, do you love Mr. B?
--- End quote ---
I'm beginning to question that as well.
Bones
Certain Hope:
((((((Bones)))))) I question that too, at times. Not often, but there are moments... usually when I'm feeling taken for granted.
Maybe the main thing he should know now is that you need to know what are his expectations/goals for your relationship?
Just that... and then give him a deadline if you want to? Oh, and tell him that a blank stare is not a response! Maybe he'll have to get some help/counseling in order to learn how to sort through the cobwebs and come to a resolution?
I'm guessing aloud here, what do you think?
Love,
Carolyn
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Certain Hope on June 13, 2008, 09:42:28 PM ---((((((Bones)))))) I question that too, at times. Not often, but there are moments... usually when I'm feeling taken for granted.
Maybe the main thing he should know now is that you need to know what are his expectations/goals for your relationship?
Just that... and then give him a deadline if you want to? Oh, and tell him that a blank stare is not a response! Maybe he'll have to get some help/counseling in order to learn how to sort through the cobwebs and come to a resolution?
I'm guessing aloud here, what do you think?
Love,
Carolyn
--- End quote ---
I've even suggested couples counseling......he refused. He believes he can solve problems without it.
Bones
Certain Hope:
Dear Bones,
Sounds like it's time to do more than suggest.
Counseling may be the best immediate investment that he could make into your future as a couple...
whether he goes alone or you two go together.
It's okay for you to not know how to approach him... or to address your issues with the relationship you two have, you know?
This is tricky stuff.
And it's okay for him to not know how to respond.
But it's a stalemate for now... unless one of you chooses to take a stand, isn't it?
This is just me, but I do think I'd take a stand for counseling. To my mind, that's the least someone can do in order to show a sincere interest in growing the relationship.
Love,
Carolyn
P.S. I read your latest installment on your story thread and I'm so sorry that woman managed to taint your present-day experience that way.
Just wishing you would go out and buy a brand new, spiffy bathing suit... in honor of yourself, today!
Shopping is not my thing, but if I were there, I'd go with you!
And I can imagine the frustration that's been attached to your handicrafting. When you've never been allowed to have anything for yourself, simply because it's special to you and uniquely yours, it's very demoralizing to have someone constantly saying, "Gimme!" and refusing to acknowledge the value of the gift you have to offer... at your own discretion!
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