Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Certain Hope on August 15, 2007, 09:34:23 AM ---
--- Quote from: BonesMS on August 15, 2007, 09:08:31 AM ---
Good point!
If this "friend" is unable to respect the boundaries of other people, then she is NOT a friend!
Bones
--- End quote ---
Exactly, Bones. She is probably not a person with whom you (or anyone else, I don't suppose) will be able to share the level of trust and intimacy which we all need for nourishment.
I'm in the midst of recognizing this within some of my own relationships.
You've defined some of her behavior as unacceptable and told her so, as I have with a couple of friends. What's next?
For me, it's to feed these folks with a very long-handled spoon, lest I get my arm chewed off.
Practically speaking, that means I keep them in my prayers and love them from a good safe distance, free from the repercussions of their lack of boundaries which can assault anyone nearby with overflowing anger, interference, sabotaging behavior, and any number of other negative consequences.
Hope
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Hope!
I'm tending to keep my distance now even though she just recently sent me an e-mail asking why she hasn't heard from me.
Bones
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Overcomer on August 15, 2007, 09:52:17 AM ---Do you think N people have a sense of entitlement hat makes them think they are exempt from normal courtesy? I know my mom is always tugging at my shirt or licking her finger to wipe something off my face. The last time she did that I grabbed her arm and said DO NOT SPIT ON MY FACE!
--- End quote ---
I think N's have a BAD habit of doing that! EWWWWWWW!!!!! :P
Bones
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Tweety on August 15, 2007, 09:57:04 AM ---Bones...
I have had problems recently with a SPACE INVADOR :lol:
He is one of the Dr's that I work with , He thinks he's funny...NOT
It's really childish, stupid annoying things. It was tough at first to really put a boundary up. I tried to do it with humor at first ( Felt the safest way)
It started with kinda teasing stuff-
buzzing sound of the reflex instrument, in my ear.....making me jump
Told him to stop...........kept doing it....my response Yup you guessed it "What part of No didn't you understand.....making him only try to do it again
He is always going through my cabinets and draws to find stuff...... I said excuse me can I help you find something....he just kept at it
He came very close to me whilst talking and I with humor responding.....making hand gestures like a box around me............" Excuse me, person space"
with that he jumped in my chair and started going through my draws like a little kid, defying me on purpose...I just walked away and ignored him like I would a toddler.
But the culmination came last week ........
A few of us girls were talking and joking and of course he had to be part of it, which no one was talking to him ......I responded to one of the girls.......... He hauled off and punched me in the arm and said"Don't say that" laughing.
Well It took all I had not to punch him back... I just whipped around (Must have looked like the exorcist lol) And said " That's it I have told you three times to stop it and your not listening , don't ever touch me again.....He laughed (No,suprise there)
His response...Well youshouldn't have said that......My response " I can say and do what ever I want , you dont'get to hit me , touch me , Punch me, invade my space, you don't have that right, He was blocking the door way, and I said GET OUT OF MY WAY, and I walked out, Fumming and almost ready for tears,I was soooooo angry and frustrated.
He later said ...I owe you an apology, Your absolutely right. I dint even go near him, he said it across the counter.. It was time to go home (Friday) and i just left. Thank God I'm on vacation this week.
Whoooooosh , these people are SPACE INVADORS.... I also think he has some sexual aggression stuff going on as well but that a whole other topic.
Love Tweety
--- End quote ---
WHOA!!!!!! He could also be treading into sexual harassment.....
Bones
Certain Hope:
--- Quote from: BonesMS on August 15, 2007, 10:33:05 PM ---Thanks, Hope!
I'm tending to keep my distance now even though she just recently sent me an e-mail asking why she hasn't heard from me.
Bones
--- End quote ---
Dear Bones,
Do you want to tell her why you haven't contacted her?
Hope
Tweety:
Bones,
Yes I do believe he has crossed some lines. So hopefully he got the message, and he will keep his sexual stuff to himself.
Tweety
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