Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1304113 times)

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1215 on: January 01, 2010, 08:57:28 AM »
We were not seen as kids and so we REALLY need people to see us.  Your b/f does not often have access to his emotions so YOU are not seen, yet again.
 In a way, you are going through the painof your childhood over and over.again.           

Thanks, Ami.

It feels like I'm not even seen as a human being by him.

Bones
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Ami

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1216 on: January 01, 2010, 01:19:13 PM »
Yes Bones. It probably mirrors what we are used to as children of N's.No one saw us. It is so powerful when someone sees us. I think that craving sex can be a craving to be seen.
 I was thinking about a certain poster who came on and had all the woman on the Board crazy. I hope I don't have to name names cuz he is gone but I was wondering WHAT he had.
 I think it was the sense that he could see you.
 My H went to Vassar and one guy could seduce any girl. It must have been the ability to either truly see or appear to see them.
                Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1217 on: January 01, 2010, 01:31:48 PM »
Yes Bones. It probably mirrors what we are used to as children of N's.No one saw us. It is so powerful when someone sees us. I think that craving sex can be a craving to be seen.
 I was thinking about a certain poster who came on and had all the woman on the Board crazy. I hope I don't have to name names cuz he is gone but I was wondering WHAT he had.
 I think it was the sense that he could see you.
 My H went to Vassar and one guy could seduce any girl. It must have been the ability to either truly see or appear to see them.
                Ami

That would make a lot of sense.  I often wonder if the guy ever really sees the girl or just simply puts on an act for his own self gratification.

Bones
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Ami

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1218 on: January 01, 2010, 01:45:25 PM »
Well, he puts on a good act :lol: :lol: :lol:             Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1219 on: January 02, 2010, 01:34:51 PM »
Well, he puts on a good act :lol: :lol: :lol:             Ami

That they do!

Bones
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HeartofPilgrimage

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1220 on: January 02, 2010, 01:42:13 PM »
Bones, you said that your bf came out as an "NT" ... I forgot to ask what that is. I was assuming the N stood for Narcissist but not sure what the T was for.

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1221 on: January 02, 2010, 02:02:26 PM »
Bones, you said that your bf came out as an "NT" ... I forgot to ask what that is. I was assuming the N stood for Narcissist but not sure what the T was for.

Hi, HoP.

In Aspie-Speak, NT means Neuro-Typical which indicates that Neuro-Typicals are not Aspies.  Aspies might be thought of as being "Aliens on the Wrong Planet".

Bones
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HeartofPilgrimage

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1222 on: January 02, 2010, 02:21:22 PM »
Oh, yeah! I have heard a friend of mine use the phrase neurotypical. She has twin boys with full blown autism ... but with the intense therapies and work they have done at home, she says that the schools no longer know what to do with them because they have accomplished everything the schools usually aim for.

I am beginning my internship in January, and the first half is at a state hospital that only deals with adults (the second half will be with kids exclusively). However, I have been encouraged that the psychology dept. at the state hospital is very interested in my knowledge about the autism spectrum, because they recognize that a lot of their patient population may be on the spectrum, and they need knowledge in order to better help those parents. People that work exclusively with adults are not likely to know much about the autism spectrum, unfortunately, but I am always encouraged when I meet those who are curious and interested.

Schizophrenia, once it is treated, can make a person seem like they are on the autism spectrum, but I'm thinking the opposite could be true ... somebody that has an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder AND schizophrenia, could look very different from someone with schizophrenia only ... and we need to know how to differentiate the two so we can take everything into account.

Another friend of mine, who probably is on the spectrum herself AND has an Asperger's son, has a ranch/treatment center for people on the spectrum and their families. She says that the latest research suggests that schizophrenia and the autism spectrum may have a common root (at the microbiology/chemistry/cellular level) that takes different pathways. Which may explain why once the diagnosis is missed in childhood (long before most people will have a first episode of schizophrenia), it is so hard to untangle the two things.

You bring up a very interesting point that I would love to know more about someday: The interaction between the disabilities of the autism spectrum, and narcissism. For example, say if you had a grandmother that had Asperger's disorder. Then, she has a daughter that is neurotypical but the grandmother was unable to model how to understand other people, and was unable to completely understand her daughter's feelings. Could that result in the daughter having narcissistic difficulties, although she might be neurotypical and technically capable of reading other people? And how does that affect the granddaughter down the line, who is born with the difficulties associated with Asperger's and raised with a narcissistic mother?

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1223 on: January 02, 2010, 02:37:22 PM »
Oh, yeah! I have heard a friend of mine use the phrase neurotypical. She has twin boys with full blown autism ... but with the intense therapies and work they have done at home, she says that the schools no longer know what to do with them because they have accomplished everything the schools usually aim for.

I am beginning my internship in January, and the first half is at a state hospital that only deals with adults (the second half will be with kids exclusively). However, I have been encouraged that the psychology dept. at the state hospital is very interested in my knowledge about the autism spectrum, because they recognize that a lot of their patient population may be on the spectrum, and they need knowledge in order to better help those parents. People that work exclusively with adults are not likely to know much about the autism spectrum, unfortunately, but I am always encouraged when I meet those who are curious and interested.

Schizophrenia, once it is treated, can make a person seem like they are on the autism spectrum, but I'm thinking the opposite could be true ... somebody that has an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder AND schizophrenia, could look very different from someone with schizophrenia only ... and we need to know how to differentiate the two so we can take everything into account.

Another friend of mine, who probably is on the spectrum herself AND has an Asperger's son, has a ranch/treatment center for people on the spectrum and their families. She says that the latest research suggests that schizophrenia and the autism spectrum may have a common root (at the microbiology/chemistry/cellular level) that takes different pathways. Which may explain why once the diagnosis is missed in childhood (long before most people will have a first episode of schizophrenia), it is so hard to untangle the two things.

You bring up a very interesting point that I would love to know more about someday: The interaction between the disabilities of the autism spectrum, and narcissism. For example, say if you had a grandmother that had Asperger's disorder. Then, she has a daughter that is neurotypical but the grandmother was unable to model how to understand other people, and was unable to completely understand her daughter's feelings. Could that result in the daughter having narcissistic difficulties, although she might be neurotypical and technically capable of reading other people? And how does that affect the granddaughter down the line, who is born with the difficulties associated with Asperger's and raised with a narcissistic mother?

Hi, HoP.

I'm not quite sure how to answer your question as each person on the Autism Spectrum is unique.  There is a saying that when you have met one person on the Spectrum, you have only met ONE person on the Spectrum.  If you ever get the opportunity to meet Dr. Temple Grandin, you would probably learn that her Spectrum qualities would be VERY different from mine.  I do have a LOT of empathy but I struggle with social cues and sensory overload, sometimes to the point where I have to be TOTALLY alone in order to recharge my "batteries" otherwise I can and do have occasional emotional meltdowns.  I have been labeled "odd", "retarded", "stupid", "weird", "crazy", and other negative things because I don't "fit" the normal neurotypical standard.  Interestingly, I've never been given a formal official diagnosis of being on the Spectrum because the diagnosis didn't make it into the DSM until the early 1990's, when I was already well into middle age.  Undiagnosed Baby Boomers have been largely ignored so people like me constantly struggle to "muddle through" somehow.  Unfortunately, others get to the point where they become so discouraged that they have given up and committed suicide, like the daughter of Burt Bacharach and Angie Dickinson.

Bones
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HeartofPilgrimage

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1224 on: January 02, 2010, 03:40:58 PM »
Thanks, Bones. I'm sorry though that you have had to live through all that negativity. And I am so glad that you haven't given up "muddling through." I guess that's what all of us, neurotypical or otherwise, do, huh.

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1225 on: January 02, 2010, 03:46:01 PM »
Thanks, Bones. I'm sorry though that you have had to live through all that negativity. And I am so glad that you haven't given up "muddling through." I guess that's what all of us, neurotypical or otherwise, do, huh.

Thanks, HoP.

I think all of us, here, find ways to "muddle through" somehow.

Bones
« Last Edit: January 02, 2010, 03:51:19 PM by BonesMS »
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1226 on: January 02, 2010, 03:49:58 PM »
Wanted to post an observation....

Recently, I was given Season One of the Classic Star Trek TV series and was watching the episode, "The Squire of Gothos".  I've seen it before as a kid and watching it again, through the eyes of an adult, I couldn't help but notice that the Squire, Trelane, is a NARCISSIST COMPLETE WITH HIS OWN MIRROR!!!!!   :shock:

Bones
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Ami

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1227 on: January 02, 2010, 04:48:15 PM »
Things are very different when you watch them as adults. That is for sure!              xxoo  Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1228 on: January 03, 2010, 12:00:09 AM »
Things are very different when you watch them as adults. That is for sure!              xxoo  Ami

Also, I didn't know about NPD then.

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1229 on: January 03, 2010, 07:23:08 AM »
 :|

Bones
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