Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1304209 times)

HeartofPilgrimage

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 361
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1245 on: January 06, 2010, 11:02:38 AM »
Kids can be so cruel. They don't tolerate anybody's differences, do they. What is it about us humans that makes us so eager to all be alike? We give lip service to respecting and tolerating differences, but in the end the group always tends to ostracize differences.  :(

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1246 on: January 06, 2010, 11:17:58 AM »
Kids can be so cruel. They don't tolerate anybody's differences, do they. What is it about us humans that makes us so eager to all be alike? We give lip service to respecting and tolerating differences, but in the end the group always tends to ostracize differences.  :(

And it's not just kids.  Adults often do the same thing as well.  I think that's where kids learn intolerance of differences when they see it modeled by their parents.  I've observed this in my own home when NWomb-Donor taught NGCB to follow her lead in everything she did to me because I was "different" and, therefore, "INFERIOR" in her opinion.  She did NOT want any INFERIOR thing contaminating HER house!

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Ami

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7820
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1247 on: January 06, 2010, 09:56:26 PM »
I think adults are the same as kids. If you believe a Biblical view, it is the flesh. We all have awful parts to us---ICK.      Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1248 on: January 07, 2010, 08:31:38 AM »
 :|

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

JudyK

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 50
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1249 on: January 07, 2010, 05:44:12 PM »
 Wow, this post had a lot of feedback! I am not sure if I responded to this before, but here I go....................
  Whenever NM stays overnight at my house (usually during the holidays), I make sure I lock my bedroom door. Why?  Because she won't think twice about walking in on me, whether I am showering or sitting on the toilet!!!! Talk about NO BOUNDARIES!!!

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1250 on: January 08, 2010, 06:55:27 AM »
Wow, this post had a lot of feedback! I am not sure if I responded to this before, but here I go....................
  Whenever NM stays overnight at my house (usually during the holidays), I make sure I lock my bedroom door. Why?  Because she won't think twice about walking in on me, whether I am showering or sitting on the toilet!!!! Talk about NO BOUNDARIES!!!

Don't ya just HATE that they refuse to respect boundaries?!?!?!?!?!?

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1251 on: January 08, 2010, 09:38:18 AM »
Attempted to have a conversation with bf last night regarding my current situation.

I've pointed out that:

(a) he works full-time, even overtime, and that he has to be earning MORE PER WEEK than I'm receiving in my pension in a month;

(b) I was recently informed, by the Office of Personnel Management, that I will NOT be receiving a cost of living adjustment to my monthly Civil Service pension;

(c) BOTH my mortgage payment and condo fees INCREASED which takes most, if not all, of my monthly pension;

(d) my medical bills continue to INCREASE in spite of the fact that I'm also paying for health insurance;

(e) I'm in the process of trying to refinance my mortgage to attempt to lower the payments.  However, the closing costs will leave me NOTHING for food and medicine or other bills until my next pension check arrives for February especially since the bank has been jerking me around since this past August LOSING my paperwork at least TWICE, forcing me to pay faxxing costs that I really could NOT afford to send the required paperwork AGAIN and AGAIN;

(f) I have NO savings account left as it is now DEPLETED and GONE;

(g) I CANNOT touch my Traditional IRA until I'm 70 1/2 and I'm too young to apply for Social Security and/or Medicare/Medicaid.  There's a STRONG possibility that I may not be able to qualify for Social Security anyway because I worked so long under the Civil Service Retirement System and my pension might be slightly too much to allow me to even qualify for Medicare/Medicaid.  I've already attempted to apply for SSI and SSDI only to be informed that I can NEVER qualify for either of them because my pension is slightly too high.  I told him that the bottom line is that he needs to help more given my current situation and NOT being self-employed yet.  I also pointed out that IF my business does manage to get off the ground, there is NO guarantee that I will be able to earn enough to cover all necessary expenses every month.  I've already been placed on the various budget plans for utilities such as electricity and natural gas but they also continue to increase.  I told him that I have NO idea where else I can turn to for any kind of public assistance given my situation as my pension is just enough to disqualify me from various programs but it is NOT enough to cover my required living expenses of keeping a roof over my head, food on the table, and taking care of my various health issues which require EXPENSIVE medications.  Vocational Rehabilitation has not been able to find any appropriate employment for me because of my age and multiple disabilities in spite of searching and applying for any job that I thought I could do.  (Like one Voc. Rehab. counselor pointed out to me:  "Age discrimination happens but you can't prove it!)

His PhD in Solar Physics response?

"Uhhhhhhh.....what pension?"   :?

I feel as if I'm pounding my head against a brick wall!!!!!   :P :evil:

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

HeartofPilgrimage

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 361
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1252 on: January 08, 2010, 11:11:30 AM »
Oh, Bones. I feel for you. You are so smart and capable, I know this whole situation is so frustrating.

Are there good things you get out of your relationship with the Absentminded Physicist?

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1253 on: January 08, 2010, 11:39:05 AM »
Oh, Bones. I feel for you. You are so smart and capable, I know this whole situation is so frustrating.

Are there good things you get out of your relationship with the Absentminded Physicist?

Sometimes.....he took me to the Zoo last week to see the Giant Pandas and the small mammal exhibits.  He knows I like animals.

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

Hopalong

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13616
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1254 on: January 08, 2010, 03:00:15 PM »
Bones, I'm sorry, hon.

You are so eager to work it's a damn shame it's been so hard to find something.

((((((((Bones))))))))

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Ami

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7820
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1255 on: January 08, 2010, 03:34:30 PM »
B/f sounds sweet ,Bones. I remember you writing about him from the beginning if my time on the Board. I know he might not be the most emotionally sensitive person but he seems like he cares a lot for you!          Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

HeartofPilgrimage

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 361
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1256 on: January 08, 2010, 04:07:53 PM »
It also sounds like he's more clueless than uncaring. I can live with clueless but I couldn't live with uncaring.

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1257 on: January 09, 2010, 08:03:07 AM »
Bones, I'm sorry, hon.

You are so eager to work it's a damn shame it's been so hard to find something.

((((((((Bones))))))))

Hops

Thanks, Hops.

I find it's impossible to find anything appropriate where people are willing and able to accept an Aspie as a human being.  I get so sick and tired of constantly being told:  "You're a poor fit!  Get out!"

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1258 on: January 09, 2010, 08:04:48 AM »
B/f sounds sweet ,Bones. I remember you writing about him from the beginning if my time on the Board. I know he might not be the most emotionally sensitive person but he seems like he cares a lot for you!          Ami

At times, it feels like I get mixed messages from him to the point that I don't know WHAT to think anymore!

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!

BonesMS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8060
Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1259 on: January 09, 2010, 08:08:32 AM »
It also sounds like he's more clueless than uncaring. I can live with clueless but I couldn't live with uncaring.

Clueless sounds like an apt description!  He tends to be oblivious until something FINALLY hits him in the face!  Then his usual reaction is something like "HUH????????????????"

I've watched him do the same thing to other people, including his neighbors, and he just doesn't seem to GET IT until the consequences bite him in the A$$!

Bones
Back Off Bug-A-Loo!