Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[Ami]

Hi Bones. I have missed our morning chats!  x o x o  Ami

[BonesMS]

Hi Bones. I have missed our morning chats!  x o x o  Ami

Hi, Ami.

Been doing a lot of thinking and processing what I'm reading on the Board.

Basically gave up on getting through bf's thick skull.  Recently had a birthday, shortly after Valentine's Day.  No card, no flowers, no birthday gift.  He took me to lunch and spent most of the time staring off into space smiling to himself.  I felt like I was talking to a blank wall!  I got aggravated enough that I bought myself my own birthday present...the Star Trek Scene It game and was playing it in "party mode" last night for just myself.  Bf shows up while I'm focusing on the game and he starts bugging me with behaviors that said "Pay attention TO ME!!!!!!"  Told him:  "Go way!  I'm busy playing Star Trek!  If you don't want to join the game, then get outta my face!"  Confused the heck outta him!   

Bones

[BonesMS]

 

Bones

[BonesMS]

Frustrated with dial-up access to the Internet!   

Bones

[Ami]

I think with b/f or anyone--what you have is what is. I am learning this about myself ,especially when *I* disappoint people. Someone, recently, wanted me to be what I could not.
 He was very angry but I could NOT be different in the ways he wanted.Also, I realized that I did not want to be pushed to be different ,either. I am an "As --is" in many ways. I have been pushed and pushed myself for my whole life. I always strived to be perfect.I still do but I am trying to let go of that distortion cuz it is a distortion from the NM.
    Ami

[BonesMS]

I think with b/f or anyone--what you have is what is. I am learning this about myself ,especially when *I* disappoint people. Someone, recently, wanted me to be what I could not.
 He was very angry but I could NOT be different in the ways he wanted.Also, I realized that I did not want to be pushed to be different ,either. I am an "As --is" in many ways. I have been pushed and pushed myself for my whole life. I always strived to be perfect.I still do but I am trying to let go of that distortion cuz it is a distortion from the NM.
    Ami

I need to think and process this.   

Bones

[Ami]

Yes, Bones.
 *I* really disappointed someone, recently , and so I saw my failings from his perspective and it humbled me.        Ami

[BonesMS]

Yes, Bones.
 *I* really disappointed someone, recently , and so I saw my failings from his perspective and it humbled me.        Ami

The difference I am perceiving is that you see it and do something about it.  He just wanders through life, blissfully IGNORING problems he creates for others!

Bones

[Ami]

Well, I SAW it after I really hurt someone BUT I didn't mean to. I was lost in my own issues and did it inadvertently.
      Ami

[BonesMS]

Well, I SAW it after I really hurt someone BUT I didn't mean to. I was lost in my own issues and did it inadvertently.
      Ami

Well, you were able to see it.  He just doesn't.....

Bones

[Ami]

Yes ((((Bones)))
He seems like he does not have much self introspection. I can tell that by what you write. He is "out of it" emotionally.
 I think, for me, that AS I get more confidence, I can risk more i.e. love more cuz if I am hurt, I will still have  a self. It is a strange double edged sword.
 I hope to God I live long enough to be a functional person LOL.        Ami

[BonesMS]

Yes ((((Bones)))
He seems like he does not have much self introspection. I can tell that by what you write. He is "out of it" emotionally.
 I think, for me, that AS I get more confidence, I can risk more i.e. love more cuz if I am hurt, I will still have  a self. It is a strange double edged sword.
 I hope to God I live long enough to be a functional person LOL.        Ami

You and me both.

Bones

[Ami]

Yeah Bones --From your mouth to God 's ear LOL                         Ami

[BonesMS]

Yeah Bones --From your mouth to God 's ear LOL                         Ami

 

Bones

[BonesMS]

 

Bones