Hi Bones! Hugs, Hops!
I hear ya about the holidays this year. Of course, y'all know that hubby and I will be attending two services to celebrate MIL and have to face her passing with people that we don't even know, along with the gobs of people who are actually family. Hubs' family is huge and extended. I am so dreading it already.
Then - I have the same kinds of flashbacks you do, Bones about holidays. Some of the most trying times of my life happened at Thanksgiving and Christmas, because of the conflict 'tween my Moms' & Dad's different ideas about what constitutes celebrating. It seems as a kid, that Christmas for me was always "waiting for the other shoe to drop"... when the "fight" would be on and go on, all night. Since then, even my kids have given me reason to flat out just be depressed about the time of year and the expectations.
Damn it. I've ALWAYS wanted to have Christmas at the beach!! To run away to the beach and just do whatever. (Last Christmas, hubby & I played videogames for 12 hours straight.) And here I am... complete with lighted palm tree... and hubs is just a big silly kid playing with toys (always)... and all I wanna do is come watch movies & eat tofu with you, Hops!! I don't want to wallow in all my shattered ideas for Christmas with MIL... nor try to pretend I'm all jolly and happy. But I did go on & buy the rosemary tree I wanted to give to Jean to decorate herself... for remembrance, you know.
Maybe we should organize a holiday party online, here??