Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1305435 times)

Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1920 on: November 24, 2010, 02:03:08 PM »
Peace to you, Bones.

I am sorry you're dealing with so many real aggravations.

love,
Hops
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1921 on: November 24, 2010, 04:26:32 PM »
Peace to you, Bones.

I am sorry you're dealing with so many real aggravations.

love,
Hops

Thanks, Hops!

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1922 on: November 24, 2010, 04:30:05 PM »
Just got an email from the Sleazy Dweeb thanking me for what I did in making the Reunion enjoyable.  Somehow, I feel at peace with that.  Maybe that is growth.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1923 on: November 25, 2010, 03:10:13 PM »
Just trying to get through Thanksgiving Day.
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Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1924 on: November 25, 2010, 06:46:06 PM »
(((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))

Peace and a wonderful night's rest!

Hops
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1925 on: November 26, 2010, 10:48:54 AM »
(((((((((((((((Bones)))))))))))))

Peace and a wonderful night's rest!

Hops

((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks!

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1926 on: November 27, 2010, 08:47:16 AM »
Feeling VERY annoyed at the doctor's office staff.  Going to the doctor is NOT fun but I know I have to go anyway because of all the health issues that I'm dealing with.  Three months ago, the doctor told me he wanted to see me in November for a complete physical.  I wasn't thrilled with the idea but I knew that it is what is best for me.  I went to the front desk, told them what the doctor wanted to do, three months from that last appointment, and the office staff person looked in their computer and wrote:  "November 26th at 2:10 PM" on the receipt they gave me.

Fast forward to yesterday, November 26th...I drive all the way to the doctor's office, trying to psych myself to prepare for what is involved with a complete physical, park the car in the office parking lot and walk toward the building I normally go into.  I spied a note, tacked on the door, to go to the building next door.  (HUH?!?!?!?)  I peered into the windows and saw that the office was all dark!  I walk over to the building next door and tell the office staff person that I'm there for my doctor's appointment with Dr. So-n-So.  She responds, without looking at the computer:  "Oh no!  Your appointment is supposed to be for TOMORROW (Saturday)!" (indicating that I needed to go to a different geographic location on the other side of town).  I informed her that I was told that my appointment was November 26th in THIS office with Dr. So-n-So.  She responds, "Well, Dr. So-n-So is not here today!"  (I'm thinking, "Oh sh*t!  Here we go AGAIN with the office staff screwing up my appointment and attempting to send me to a different location like they did the LAST time across town!)  I informed her, again, that my appointment was NOT on a Saturday!  She FINALLY checks her computer and informs me, "Oh, there's NO APPOINTMENT FOR YOU AT ALL!"  (I was REALLY DISGUSTED by this point when I realized that the office staff COMPLETELY screwed up!   :P)  She asked me if I wanted to schedule my next doctor's appointment and I told her I prefer to wait until AFTER the holidays because of all the craziness and stupidity!  I walked out!!!!

I HATE having my time and gas wasted, along with having my nerves plucked, by careless office staff people.  This is the SECOND time my doctor's appointment was screwed because someone was careless with the appointment book! 

Years before, a (now former) staff person REFUSED to permit me to speak with my doctor after a trip to the Emergency Room, which resulted in my having to be admitted to the hospital with complications.  Later, during a late afternoon office appointment, (the LAST appointment of the day before starting her hospital rounds), the doctor started to yell at me for not calling her sooner.  I told her that I HAD CALLED but the ding-dong answering the phone WOULD NOT PUT ME THROUGH!!!!  (At that moment, the ding-dong in question sauntered in with a fistful of phone messages, tossed them on a chair, then sauntered out of the room.)  I retrieved the pile of paper and handed them over to my doctor and said I can wait while she glances through them.  The doctor was horrified to discover that one of the phone messages was from a HEART patient who had called FIRST THING THAT VERY MORNING regarding his medical condition!!!!  The LAZY ding-dong couldn't be bothered to relay the message!!!!  I pointed out to my doctor that I strongly suspect, based on what we were both seeing at that moment, that when I called after my trip to the Emergency Room, not only did this ding-dong REFUSE to put my phone call through to the doctor, either (a) she couldn't be bothered to write down the phone message or (b) she waited until AFTER the doctor left the office for hospital rounds to throw a pile of messages onto a chair, then disposed of those messages the next morning before the doctor arrived because the ding-dong deemed the messages OLD.  Either way, the result was that the doctor was NOT receiving emergency messages in a timely manner which was putting the entire office in legal jeopardy.  I pointed out that all it's going to take is for one of her patients to die and that patient's family to file either a malpractice and/or a wrongful death lawsuit against the doctor and/or the doctor's medical practice and because this ding-dong is acting as her agent, the doctor is legally liable.  This lazy ding-dong could cost the doctor her livelihood!  By my next doctor's appointment, the lazy ding-dong was GONE!

Now I'm dealing with a new batch of bozo's!!!!!

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   :P

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1927 on: November 28, 2010, 05:56:21 AM »
 :|
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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1928 on: November 28, 2010, 07:58:24 AM »
Sorry you had to go through this, Bones!

You'd think with so many skilled, competent people looking for work that they would get these jobs - instead of the ding-dongs of the world. I guess it doesn't work out that way in reality. I do know that it's just not possible in the standard interview process to determine whether someone has a good work ethic, reasonable judgement, and an ability to "step up" and know when to break the rules - when it makes sense to I mean, and to not see themselves "entitled" to all kinds of perks, benefits, and gaming the rules for their own agendas.

When I encounter one of these competent people doing work that they're obviously overqualified for... whether it's just temporary or they're working their way up in the world - I make sure I recognize them and let them know how much I appreciate how they do their job. All too often, these people get overlooked because they're not causing problems! Reality is, tho - that they're usually doing the work (or undoing it and fixing it) for 2-3 ding-dongs...
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1929 on: November 28, 2010, 08:23:56 AM »
Sorry you had to go through this, Bones!

You'd think with so many skilled, competent people looking for work that they would get these jobs - instead of the ding-dongs of the world. I guess it doesn't work out that way in reality. I do know that it's just not possible in the standard interview process to determine whether someone has a good work ethic, reasonable judgement, and an ability to "step up" and know when to break the rules - when it makes sense to I mean, and to not see themselves "entitled" to all kinds of perks, benefits, and gaming the rules for their own agendas.

When I encounter one of these competent people doing work that they're obviously overqualified for... whether it's just temporary or they're working their way up in the world - I make sure I recognize them and let them know how much I appreciate how they do their job. All too often, these people get overlooked because they're not causing problems! Reality is, tho - that they're usually doing the work (or undoing it and fixing it) for 2-3 ding-dongs...

Thanks, P.R.

It IS frustrating knowing that some of my friends are unemployed, looking for work, and can't get a job because the positions are already filled by these ding-dongs who don't give a sh*t about work ethics!

BTW, this may be my Asperger's getting in the way...I'm confused about your "when to break the rules" comment.  Can you clarify that for me?

Thanks!

Bones
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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1930 on: November 28, 2010, 09:13:41 AM »
Sure! this is an extreme and exaggerated illustration, but I hope it's clear...

Office policy and procedures are usually designed to promote efficiency and productivity... making everything run smoothly. So, let's use a doctor's office - patients are encouraged to make appointments and doctors allow x amount of time per patient. Some offices also allow walk-ins... but those patients have to wait for a spare moment.

Patient Smith has a regular checkup appt at 10:15. Walkin patient Jones arrives and signs in at 10:10 complaining of stomach pain.
They both are looking to see the same doctor.

The "rules" say that Patient Smith comes first, because h/she had made the appt in advance and patient Jones simply has to wait - and may not see the preferred doctor, either - being a walkin.

At 10:12, patient Jones falls on the floor rolling, screaming and holding her stomach in pain. At this point, a good employee would immediately go get the first doctor she sees... to treat patient Jones or at least assess what the problem was - and patient Smith would have to wait... perhaps long after the appt time, or would be rescheduled, if for instance the doctor needed was an OB-GYN and patient Jones was in labor.

Because life is full of surprises and unexpected situations, the rational common sense thing to do is to just chuck the "rules" when the situation calls for it... when the rules are getting in the way of what the right thing to do is. And some rules are kinda stupid, in and of themselves... they don't make sense even in run of the mill, ordinary life. Those rules just need to be changed.

My office had a rule for awhile... that all 18 of us had to eat lunch within a space of 2 hours; of course leaving some support people in the office while the others ate lunch & vice versa. When servers crashed - and the campus was without "mission critical" applications.... several of us completely ignored that rule in order to work to restore services, as quickly as possible. Imagine - and this happened more often than I liked - that you were taking a final exam online and the system went down. Sometimes, the questions you answered were restored when the system was fixed; sometimes not - and you had to start over from the beginning. Sometimes the online services that supported the exam could be restored in a matter of minutes or an hour; there were longer outages. Usually the registrar insists that grades - especially for graduating seniors - be reported immediately after the final exam schedule. So it was absolutely a first priority to determine what was wrong and fix it. Eating lunch in a specified time period didn't make a lick o' sense! So we just didn't do it - and the boss didn't insist, either. That rule eventually got "forgotten about".

Rules are always designed as "one size fits all" solution... but life isn't "one size fits all", all the time.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1931 on: November 28, 2010, 09:38:59 AM »
Thanks, P.R.

In the case of the doctor's office, I believe there is a sign posted that medical emergencies will take priority over scheduled appointments.  As it happened, I became one of those emergencies IN THE MIDDLE of my appointment when my blood pressure dropped without warning!  What was originally a pre-scheduled 10-15 minute appointment to discuss and refill my prescriptions became long and drawn out!  Nobody's fault!  So the "break the rule" makes sense under these circumstances.

When it doesn't make sense is when there is "office politics" and "office pets" where favoritism is rampant!

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1932 on: November 29, 2010, 08:40:16 AM »
I can't imagine doing THIS to a SIX-YEAR-OLD CHILD!!!!

It horrifies me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(It's the second letter in this article.)


http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20101129
« Last Edit: November 29, 2010, 08:41:57 AM by BonesMS »
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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1933 on: November 29, 2010, 04:51:55 PM »
uuuuuhhhhh GEE - why doesn't "grandma" just buy another one for the other friend/child?
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #1934 on: November 30, 2010, 12:44:35 PM »
uuuuuhhhhh GEE - why doesn't "grandma" just buy another one for the other friend/child?

Sounds like "grandma" is thinking only of herself instead of the child.

URGH!!!!!!!!!!
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