Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1305729 times)

sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2355 on: May 01, 2011, 09:59:04 AM »
This is classic, Bones...

instead of accepting that other people are different - and allowed to be - as far as likes/dislikes, politics, values, culture...
and instead of saying: this is how I think/believe and why...

the "controlling" of all different flavors will always leap to the conclusion the "other" has some character flaw; are "bad people"; stupid... etc. I guess it's a sneaky, unconscious way of trying to validate their own ideas - which apparently they themselves don't have that much confidence in.

That "reflex" goes even further, like in some of today's political discussions, where one party demonizes (and lumps together) all the people in the other political party - the result being an "us" and "them" mentality; creating a straw "enemy" - to justify whatever further means of controlling they desire to pursue.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2356 on: May 01, 2011, 11:07:56 AM »
This is classic, Bones...

instead of accepting that other people are different - and allowed to be - as far as likes/dislikes, politics, values, culture...
and instead of saying: this is how I think/believe and why...

the "controlling" of all different flavors will always leap to the conclusion the "other" has some character flaw; are "bad people"; stupid... etc. I guess it's a sneaky, unconscious way of trying to validate their own ideas - which apparently they themselves don't have that much confidence in.

That "reflex" goes even further, like in some of today's political discussions, where one party demonizes (and lumps together) all the people in the other political party - the result being an "us" and "them" mentality; creating a straw "enemy" - to justify whatever further means of controlling they desire to pursue.

Thanks, Hops!

I hope you are doing better today.

You're right, this is classic.  It has me thinking of one of the N's I've had to deal with who has a bad habit of using religion to attempt to ram her control down the throats of people she thinks she owns.  It gets old.

Bones
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Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2357 on: May 01, 2011, 12:47:20 PM »
Hey sweet Bones,
You gave me credit for a nice post from PR...but thanks for asking how I am.

I'm flailing a little, emotionally. Worried about myself. Wondering whether, despite how much I really like and trust him...I might need a female T these days. Just because perhaps a woman might better understand some of the particular pain.

There's so much I feel overwhelmed by. And the isolation of the workweek (isolation meaning working with sexist Nboss, and trying to behave with calm and confidence no matter the provocation) is getting to me. I don't feel as healthy as I should. And I'm feeling some uncertainty in my sense of support.

(I think that will change though.)

I am VERY excited about a dog-sitting job I have lined up!
Possible additional income stream if it goes well.

xo
Hops
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2358 on: May 01, 2011, 01:14:09 PM »
Hey sweet Bones,
You gave me credit for a nice post from PR...but thanks for asking how I am.

I'm flailing a little, emotionally. Worried about myself. Wondering whether, despite how much I really like and trust him...I might need a female T these days. Just because perhaps a woman might better understand some of the particular pain.

There's so much I feel overwhelmed by. And the isolation of the workweek (isolation meaning working with sexist Nboss, and trying to behave with calm and confidence no matter the provocation) is getting to me. I don't feel as healthy as I should. And I'm feeling some uncertainty in my sense of support.

(I think that will change though.)

I am VERY excited about a dog-sitting job I have lined up!
Possible additional income stream if it goes well.

xo
Hops

You're welcome, Hops!

I hope the dog-sitting job comes through.

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2359 on: May 01, 2011, 01:17:12 PM »
BTW, I'm in the midst of de-cluttering.  I got a bunch of stuff shredded yesterday and now I'm working on boxing more stuff to be shredded.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2360 on: May 02, 2011, 07:07:12 AM »
I must say that there's FINALLY JUSTICE!!!!

http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/05/02/osama-bin-laden-dead

I have friends who lost family members, sisters, brothers, parents, children, in the 9/11 attacks.  May those loved ones now rest in peace.  Their mass murderer has been brought to justice!

Bones
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Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2361 on: May 02, 2011, 11:10:08 PM »
It's quite a shock and I hope people stop cavorting.

It's a relief and justice but I feel as though the celebrating mobs are mixed up...it wasn't the death of one twisted man that caused all that celebrating in the streets in 1943...it was the end of war.

I am creeped out when people celebrate a death, any death (my Christian training, and that part I keep). But I'm glad they got him, so I feel...somber.

Hops

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2362 on: May 03, 2011, 06:24:43 AM »
It's quite a shock and I hope people stop cavorting.

It's a relief and justice but I feel as though the celebrating mobs are mixed up...it wasn't the death of one twisted man that caused all that celebrating in the streets in 1943...it was the end of war.

I am creeped out when people celebrate a death, any death (my Christian training, and that part I keep). But I'm glad they got him, so I feel...somber.

Hops



I have friends whose loved ones were murdered by this monster.  As soon as I heard the news, my immediate reaction was that they FINALLY GOT THAT !@#$%^!!!!!!!!  And I was GLAD that it was American troops that brought him to justice!

That's just me.

Bones
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Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2363 on: May 03, 2011, 08:04:00 AM »
I understand, Bones...I know a whole lot of people had that reaction and it isn't hard to understand why.

Especially when those lost are personally known...

hugs,
Hops
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2364 on: May 03, 2011, 08:09:43 AM »
I understand, Bones...I know a whole lot of people had that reaction and it isn't hard to understand why.

Especially when those lost are personally known...

hugs,
Hops

Thanks, Hops.
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KatG

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2365 on: May 03, 2011, 07:09:31 PM »
May the Fouth be with you tomorrow Bones!

Hope you are doing well.
KatG

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2366 on: May 04, 2011, 07:42:22 AM »
May the Fouth be with you tomorrow Bones!

Hope you are doing well.
KatG

Thanks, KatG!
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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2367 on: May 04, 2011, 11:51:34 AM »
Bones - I was also glad to see the news of Bin Laden brought to justice. I felt relief, a sense of "there really is justice in this world", and a sense that finally - that was over.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2368 on: May 04, 2011, 12:38:03 PM »
Bones - I was also glad to see the news of Bin Laden brought to justice. I felt relief, a sense of "there really is justice in this world", and a sense that finally - that was over.

AMEN!!!!
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2369 on: May 05, 2011, 06:06:16 AM »
While reading through the thread about what is a family....it brought up a memory of a conversation I had with NWomb-Donor once.  I made the comment that one can still LOVE a child even though one may not like the child's behavior of the moment.  NWomb-Donor proceeded to tell me that I was mentally ill and should be locked up in a mental institution!  Then she had the nerve to wonder why I stayed away from visiting her after that.  BITCH!!!!   :P

Bones
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