Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[Hopalong]

Bones, I wonder if a whole lot of different types of support groups might still provide company and strength to you, even if it isn't single-topic (survivors of pareNts).

Such as:
ACOA
Co-DA
Disability support groups
Women's center groups
Therapy groups

etc.

I have been thinking of you and hope those very painful thoughts have lifted...

Sending peace,
Hops

[BonesMS]

Bones, I wonder if a whole lot of different types of support groups might still provide company and strength to you, even if it isn't single-topic (survivors of pareNts).

Such as:
ACOA
Co-DA
Disability support groups
Women's center groups
Therapy groups

etc.

I have been thinking of you and hope those very painful thoughts have lifted...

Sending peace,
Hops

Thanks, Hops.

I had attended a Disability Support group for a couple of years but I got frustrated with the "textbook knowledge-only" approach of the facilitator.  When I asked a question about where to find additional financial resources when struggling to pay the bills, she came back with stuff she printed from the Internet on "How to Talk to Your Baby-Boomer Children"!  I AM A BABY-BOOMER WHO DOES NOT HAVE CHILDREN!  I could have searched and found that article, on my own, at home, if THAT was what I needed.  IT DID NOT HELP THE SITUATION I AM STRUGGLING WITH!  Unfortunately, the facilitator is, essentially, a kid in her early 20's, just completed graduate school, is ABLE-BODIED, and doesn't understand what it is like to LIVE IN THIS SITUATION!  All she knows is what she learned from textbooks.  I finally got tired of wasting my gas, wasting my time, and wasting my breath when I WAS NOT HAVING MY VOICE HEARD!

Bones

[BonesMS]

I recall a previous thread conversation regarding how N's react to the word "No".  Last night, I think I encountered an N for a neighbor.

As some of you may be aware, I live in a condominium development where the building doors are kept locked at all times.  Many of these doors have been damaged, repeatedly, because certain individuals persist in propping them open.  As a result, we all have to pay for repeated repairs out of our condo fees...which is NOT fun!  There have been numerous e-mails sent out to the community, as well as multiple reminders during homeowners' meetings to PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do NOT prop open the building doors because of the damage it causes to the mechanisms.

In spite of all that, last night, as I was heading out to a building captains meeting, I caught one of my upstairs neighbors in the act of propping the door open!  I tried to politely explain that this causes damage to the door that we end up paying for.  He immediately got NASTY and started yelling that propping the door open will NEVER damage it and how DARE I say ANYTHING to HIM about it!!!!!     Gawd, he just got obnoxiously STUPID!!!!  (I'm thinking:  "That's all right, brother!  You'll learn the hard way now that I know about you and your attitude regarding the common areas of our community!")  I felt I followed the proper protocols by bringing it to the attention of the other building captains in case they encounter the same thing and I also reported it to property management.  Within a few hours of informing property management, a notice was posted on the door reminding people to NOT prop the door open or they will be charged for repairing the damage!

Now it remains to be seen if that obnoxious neighbor takes this seriously or continues the stupidity he demonstrated last night......

[BonesMS]

Can't sleep.....

[BonesMS]

Checking in......

[BonesMS]

I feel so confused.  When I was taking a walk around my community, one of my neighbors, (from another building), commented that she had not seen me at the pool everyday.  I commented that I hadn't been feeling that great off and on but I do go for a swim occasionally.  I also told her about a community pool party that is coming up at the end of the month and would she like to come.  She reacted as if I had made the most DISGUSTING suggestion!  WTF?!?!?!?!?   

Bones

[BonesMS]

 

[sKePTiKal]

Struggling with a business-related decision that I have to make and it's tying my stomach up in knots!

Bones, it helps me a LOT to talk these kinds of decisions out with enough people, that I start to see the whole picture, surrounding the specifics of the decision. It doesn't lower the real risk involved in the decision, but it lets me see how many more variables are out there, that I realize the world won't end, if I choose wrong on this one thing. It lowers my anxiety over deciding.

I think CoNs have a really hard time with "big decisions"... because when we should've been encouraged to decide things for ourselves, make our own educational mistakes and recover... instead we were constantly told what do/be/do/be/dooo.

I'll be glad to be a sounding board for ya (to the best of my ability) and walk through the what-if scenarios of a decision, if ya want.

[BonesMS]

Struggling with a business-related decision that I have to make and it's tying my stomach up in knots!

Bones, it helps me a LOT to talk these kinds of decisions out with enough people, that I start to see the whole picture, surrounding the specifics of the decision. It doesn't lower the real risk involved in the decision, but it lets me see how many more variables are out there, that I realize the world won't end, if I choose wrong on this one thing. It lowers my anxiety over deciding.

I think CoNs have a really hard time with "big decisions"... because when we should've been encouraged to decide things for ourselves, make our own educational mistakes and recover... instead we were constantly told what do/be/do/be/dooo.

I'll be glad to be a sounding board for ya (to the best of my ability) and walk through the what-if scenarios of a decision, if ya want.

Thanks, P.R.!

And to add to being constantly told what to do/be......etc., when we did go ahead and make ANY kind of independent decision, the reaction of the Narcissistic Rage-aholic was to grab whatever object was within reach and BEAT THE CRAP out of whoever DARED DEFY HER!

With this one particular business decision, I was able to resolve it by taking the proverbial "bull by the horns" and posing the difficult questions to my client.  My client and I were able to work out a solution.  (At the same time, the "Old Tapes" were BLASTING LOUDLY, which are hard to ignore.)

I'm glad you volunteered to be a sounding board as I'm sure other business decisions will be coming up from time to time.

Bones

[sKePTiKal]

I know I'll be able to listen, suggest a few things... not sure I'll have any brilliant "answers"...
and I do know when (and sometimes where) to go looking for expert help.

[BonesMS]

I know I'll be able to listen, suggest a few things... not sure I'll have any brilliant "answers"...
and I do know when (and sometimes where) to go looking for expert help.

Thanks, P.R.!

Bones

[BonesMS]

In fighting "The Old Tapes", I have started thinking about what I have managed to accomplish in spite of NWomb-Donor.  I'm afraid it sounds Narcissistic on my part while trying to list what I've done that should remind me that I AM NOT a "pile of useless, retarded dogsh*t who is only good enough to be a whore"!

I need to remind myself:

1) Completed my Associates of Arts and Sciences and got on the Dean's List.
2) Completed my Bachelor's and graduated Summa Cum Laude.
3) Completed my Master's, flew to another state and marched across the stage.
4) Performed in Constitution Hall, in Washington, D.C. with other performers, including Pat Boone and Dean Jones, in the production "If My People".
5) Had a walk-on in the episode: "Hear No Evil" of "A Man Called Hawk" with Avery Brooks.
6) Had some of my artwork on display in the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C.
7) Was invited to exhibit my artwork in my own community.

I'm telling NWomb-Donor, where-ever that Crazy Bat is, "I am NOT a worthless retard NOR am I a whore!  I've accomplished things IN SPITE OF YOUR BULLSHIT!!!!!!  YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS BAT-SHIT CRAZY!!!!  F*** YOU AND F**** OFF!!!!!!!!"

Do I sound sane yet?

Bones

[Guest]

Pretty much Bones!

Me:

I'm telling NWomb-Donor, where-ever that Crazy Bat is

- not sure I care any more where she is.....so long as it's not next door to me.

Impressive list. Congratulate yourself!

[Hopalong]

YES that's quite a list and HOOO-AHHHHHH!

I hope you reflect a whole whole whole lot more on your inherent worth and dignity...

Bones, you don't have to earn it or defend it any more.

It's just yours.

xo
Hops

[BonesMS]

Pretty much Bones!

Me:

I'm telling NWomb-Donor, where-ever that Crazy Bat is

- not sure I care any more where she is.....so long as it's not next door to me.

Impressive list. Congratulate yourself!

Thanks, Freshwatet!

I believe that the Bat-sh*t Crazy NWomb-Donor is burning and rotting in HELL...where she belongs!!!!!

Bones