Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1304781 times)

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2700 on: September 13, 2011, 07:03:29 AM »
Just checking in and resting today......
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2701 on: September 13, 2011, 10:57:52 AM »
Thinking about a conversation I recently had with bf.  We do have a couple of disturbing things in common:  (a) we were both the result of unplanned pregnancies, (b) the individuals involved discussed the possibility of abortion at the time of the unplanned pregnancies and (c) the Nparental units made a point of TELLING each of us about the possibility of aborting us!   :shock: :? :shock:

In my situation, with NWomb-Donor, she made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that she resented the fact that I survived against all odds and that she always wished me dead!  In bf's situation, his NSperm-Donor acted like it was a funny joke!

My reaction is:  WHAT ADULT, IN THEIR RIGHT MIND, WOULD TELL THEIR OFFSPRING THAT KIND  OF CRAP?!?!?!?   :P

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Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2702 on: September 13, 2011, 07:55:16 PM »
wrong mind
wrong mind
wrong mind

((((((Bones, you welcome human being))))

Hops
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Guest

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2703 on: September 13, 2011, 08:16:21 PM »
Quote
WHAT ADULT, IN THEIR RIGHT MIND, WOULD TELL THEIR OFFSPRING THAT KIND  OF CRAP?!?!

My first thoughts were....

but I moderated them, because I couldn't remember the Rules on this Board for A LOT of bad language.

Some people are actually wicked. I like that word.

((((((Bones))))))

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2704 on: September 14, 2011, 06:59:59 AM »
wrong mind
wrong mind
wrong mind

((((((Bones, you welcome human being))))

Hops

Thanks, Hops!

N's are REALLY SCREWY and SCREWED UP!!!!!   :P :P :P
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2705 on: September 14, 2011, 07:02:41 AM »
Quote
WHAT ADULT, IN THEIR RIGHT MIND, WOULD TELL THEIR OFFSPRING THAT KIND  OF CRAP?!?!

My first thoughts were....

but I moderated them, because I couldn't remember the Rules on this Board for A LOT of bad language.

Some people are actually wicked. I like that word.

((((((Bones))))))

Thanks, Freshwater.

That's one way to describe these NMonsters!

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2706 on: September 14, 2011, 07:13:52 AM »
I also have another question weighing on my mind.....

This past year, I have been involved with some community activities....one of them being Community Emergency Response Team.  One concerned a Search and Recovery mission, (yes, a REAL one where we were searching for human remains), and the other was where different CERT teams from different jurisdictions were invited to participate in the recent Labor Day Parade.  The Search and Recovery mission also involved members from different counties and jurisdictions.

A newspaper article was written by a CERT member regarding the Search and Recovery mission and, the way it was written, made it appear that ONLY ONE CERT jurisdiction did EVERYTHING, (which I found annoying).  As a result of several jurisdictions joining the Labor Day Parade, our CERT group won First Runner Up in the Community Category and, again, this ONE CERT jurisdiction acted as if they were the ONLY jurisdiction there!

My perspective is to give credit where credit is due!  At least say "THANK YOU" to the other jurisdictions that joined in the effort instead of completely ignoring their existence while taking credit for everything!

Is it just me that feels this way?

Bones
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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2707 on: September 14, 2011, 08:03:43 AM »
Do you ever read Miss Manners, Bones?

Simple etiquette... and lack of teaching of it... contributes to this kind distortion, the viewpoint of the article and lack of acknowledgement for other teams. "Good Manners"... I think these actually helped support good boundaries, in some ways.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2708 on: September 14, 2011, 08:08:44 AM »
Do you ever read Miss Manners, Bones?

Simple etiquette... and lack of teaching of it... contributes to this kind distortion, the viewpoint of the article and lack of acknowledgement for other teams. "Good Manners"... I think these actually helped support good boundaries, in some ways.

Thanks, P.R.!
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2709 on: September 14, 2011, 06:00:16 PM »
Just feeling out of sorts at the moment.......
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Guest

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2710 on: September 14, 2011, 08:12:26 PM »
Quote
My perspective is to give credit where credit is due!  At least say "THANK YOU" to the other jurisdictions that joined in the effort instead of completely ignoring their existence while taking credit for everything!

Is it just me that feels this way?
No Bones, not just you. But I've seen it too often.

The service recipients know who to thank. And sometimes they write letters to the editor of local newspapers...

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2711 on: September 14, 2011, 10:26:04 PM »
Quote
My perspective is to give credit where credit is due!  At least say "THANK YOU" to the other jurisdictions that joined in the effort instead of completely ignoring their existence while taking credit for everything!

Is it just me that feels this way?
No Bones, not just you. But I've seen it too often.

The service recipients know who to thank. And sometimes they write letters to the editor of local newspapers...

Thanks, Freshwater.

I'm glad I'm not alone.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2712 on: September 15, 2011, 07:28:29 AM »
Had an unexpected surprise last night.

To give a bit of background:

When bf learned that his biological mother died back in January, he finally became interested in his family history as he knows almost nothing.  He signed my contract and paid me to start researching and I have been able to find out some information on his father's side of the family.  His mother's side is proving more challenging because bf had been born to an unwed mother, back in the 50's, and custody was immediately given to his biological father.  He didn't learn the truth about his biological mother until he was a senior in high school and had tried to find her, without success, for years.  When he and I got together, and he told me about his mother, I took up the search, found her, and reunited them back in 2001.  (We first communicated by phone in August 2001 and I called her the day after 9-11 to let her know we were all right after the attacks.  In the adrenaline rush of reassuring friends and family that we were safe, I accidentally let slip that bf was her son, to the nursing home staff, when they asked me why she should be interested in his well-being.  She fussed at me for that and I apologized.  I don't think straight after a huge scare like 9-11.  I tend to blurt first and think later.)

Fast forward to this year, when I find his mother's obituary online.  In it, I read that bf has a cousin, and I started researching how to find and contact her.  I found an address and a phone number.  Given the circumstances, I thought it would be best to ease into this situation by sending the cousin a letter.  I really wasn't certain what kind of reception we would get, given that the biological mother had never married and she was from the generation that having out-of-wedlock children was shameful.  After I sent the letter a month ago, I didn't hear anything so I decided to just not push it if the maternal relatives were uncomfortable.

Last night, after 9:00 PM, while bf was visiting with me, the phone rang!  (Normally, I don't answer the phone after that time of night.  This time, something told me:  "Pick up!")  It was the cousin I wrote to!!!!!   :shock:  She had so many questions and she was excited to learn she has a cousin she never knew and WANTS TO MEET HIM!!!!  He seems to be in shock about all this.  I've told him, several times, that since he's hired me to research his family history, it's going to require COMMUNICATING with people and one NEVER KNOWS what I may find!

Now I'm curious about what's going to happen next!

Bones
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Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2713 on: September 15, 2011, 09:13:48 AM »
That's exciting, Bones!

I hope bf has a happy and interesting reunion with his cuz....

hugs
Hops
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2714 on: September 15, 2011, 09:31:04 AM »
That's exciting, Bones!

I hope bf has a happy and interesting reunion with his cuz....

hugs
Hops

Me too!  He really doesn't have many family ties.  Even his half-brothers are scattered everywhere and he rarely hears from them.

Bones
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