Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1304413 times)

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2775 on: October 04, 2011, 04:11:20 PM »
Still heard nothing from the dentist's office yet.

Given that my patience with the front office staff is extremely thin, I'm not in a rush to call them.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2776 on: October 05, 2011, 06:40:05 AM »
Woke up from having a strange, somewhat autobiographical, dream.  My psychology training, (Freud, maybe), is telling me that it's my brain attempting to work on my issues given that there are no 3-D therapists around where I live that "get it" regarding Narcissistic Personality Disorder in a parental unit and their offspring who is living with multiple birth defects.  The overriding theme, in my dream, was:  "The Queen, Her Royal Highness, CANNOT have anything less than perfect near her lest it makes HER look bad to HER friends, neighbors, and minions!  Therefore, this walking DEFECT MUST BE DECLARED THE SCAPEGOAT and REMOVED from the ROYAL sight!"

I'll discuss the details upon request.

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2777 on: October 05, 2011, 09:36:37 PM »
 :|

Details of the dream are starting to fade and I didn't write them down.  Oh well......
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Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2778 on: October 05, 2011, 10:40:50 PM »
And how blind was the Queen, that she focused all her pitiless eyes on birth "defects,"
and not the perfect beauty of your birth.

You grew up to know what beauty is, and you create it.

(((((((Beautiful Bones))))))))))

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2779 on: October 06, 2011, 09:06:17 AM »
And how blind was the Queen, that she focused all her pitiless eyes on birth "defects,"
and not the perfect beauty of your birth.

You grew up to know what beauty is, and you create it.

(((((((Beautiful Bones))))))))))

Hops

Thanks, (((((((((Hops))))))))))!

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2780 on: October 07, 2011, 08:13:48 AM »
Noticed something this week that has been bothering me.....

Where I live, we observe the annual Mental Health Screening Day.  Last Tuesday, September 27th, I attended the training to prepare to conduct a screening at a nearby assisted living facility.  (There's been at least one completed suicide at that facility.)  During the training, I was informed that instead of my assisting with the Bingo Game, I would go knocking door to door and conduct the mental health screenings with each resident who answers the door and consents.  (BTW, the person conducting this training is my former facilitator of the support group I used to attend.  I stopped attending because I was getting the very REAL sense that she was just NOT LISTENING.)

I informed the "trainer" that I know quite a few people at the assisted living facility and it would present a serious ethical dilemma for me to go knocking on their doors, requesting to conduct a mental health screening, when I know them and they know me.  The trainer made an off-hand comment and nothing more was said about the issue.

One week later at the assisted living facility, as I was meeting with the trainer's supervisor to get last minute instructions, I was, again, informed that I would be knocking on doors.  I brought up my ethical issue of knowing residents and how awkward that would be for both the residents and myself to be conducting a mental health screening under these circumstances.  I also made it a point of stating that I brought up this same question during the training the previous week and I repeated my question...."What is the best way to address this?"  The supervisor decided that I would score the paperwork and the interns would knock on the doors.  (Works for me!)  I felt annoyed that, once again, I mentioned a concern to this (now-former) facilitator and, once again, SHE WAS NOT LISTENING!  (This confirmed my decision to not return to the support group as long as she is in charge.)

Last night, we were conducting Part Two of the Mental Health Screening at a local grocery store.  The (now-former) facilitator was there and she was acting very frostily toward me.  (Made me wonder if her boss gave her an ass-chewing for not listening to me and not reporting the ethical situation to her.)  Then ANOTHER ethical situation reared its ugly head as a direct result of this individual NOT LISTENING! 

A person approached me and asked to be screened.  As I was giving him the form and making him comfortable, I hear the (now-former) facilitator call out to this person, "Hi, (person's name)!!!"  He immediately became uncomfortable and I'm thinking:  "Oh, Sh*t!"  The person I was screening stated that if he had known that SHE was going to be there, he would NOT have come!  He also stated that he had TOLD her that he was planning on being in the grocery store during the screenings!  She beat a hasty retreat and, somehow, he managed to calm down.  As it turned out, he scored very high on the assessment which required that he be seen by a clinician on site.  (We had only two clinicians, one of them being the NON-LISTENER.)  Because the only other clinician was busy talking with another person who scored high, this gentleman had to wait.  Ethically, because the NON-LISTENER knew him, she was not allowed to counsel him.  My role was to screen, only, NOT counsel.  The only thing I could do was keep him as comfortable as possible until the other clinician could see him.  Again, I was annoyed that a situation, that could have and SHOULD HAVE been avoided was allowed to develop because this individual WOULD NOT LISTEN nor PAY ATTENTION to things that clearly demanded attention!  She even created another situation when she snatched an assessment out of the hands of a person taking it, barking orders at me to score it, and the person was only HALF-DONE!  I had to give it back so the person could finish filling it out!  (I was so tempted to smack this ex-facilitator!)

At the end of the evening, she simply beat feet without saying anything else to anyone.   :P
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2781 on: October 08, 2011, 01:12:19 PM »
 :|
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2782 on: October 08, 2011, 05:18:43 PM »
A friend was asking me about the mental health screenings, that took place last week, and my role in the event.  As I was thinking, the ethical issue that I had been struggling with clarified itself.  Dr. G. understands what I am talking about regarding ethics and dual roles.

In this case, I am aware that many of the residents at the assisted living facility were also in my support group as participants while I was also a participant.  Therefore, we knew each other and each others' sensitive issues.  By having me go and knock on their doors, requesting they do a mental health screening, would put me in the dual role of:  (a) being a fellow support group attendee who KNOWS them and their issues, and (b) being in the role of acting crisis intervention personnel.  Those two roles would be confusing for them and extremely awkward for me.  (Even though I am no longer attending the support group, I feel the following saying still applies:  "Once a client, always a client."

Am I making sense?  I'm not sure how else to verbalize the concept/picture that I'm seeing in my head.

Bones
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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2783 on: October 08, 2011, 07:01:22 PM »
Hi Bones, both of your posts on this issue make sense to me, and I have (and have had) zero to do with mental health as a job (so this is just 'common' sense).

You're able to stand in the other person's shoes (the residents) and the twit facilitator isn't. She's an idiot Bones.

Quote
confusing for them and extremely awkward for me
makes pefect sense.

Any reason why you think you're not making sense?

Hopalong

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2784 on: October 09, 2011, 12:05:47 AM »
Made sense to me, Bones.

Hops
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2785 on: October 09, 2011, 08:13:00 AM »
Hi Bones, both of your posts on this issue make sense to me, and I have (and have had) zero to do with mental health as a job (so this is just 'common' sense).

You're able to stand in the other person's shoes (the residents) and the twit facilitator isn't. She's an idiot Bones.

Quote
confusing for them and extremely awkward for me
makes pefect sense.

Any reason why you think you're not making sense?

Thanks, Freshwater.

I tend to see pictures in my mind that I struggle to find words for.  (Temple Grandin thinks in a similar fashion as she sees pictures rather than words).  One of the other things that frustrates me about this facilitator is her habit of NOT listening.  I don't know what they're teaching the "young'uns" in school nowadays but when I was working on my degrees, I was taught a concept called:  "active listening" which required the mental health practitioner to PARAPHRASE what a client just said in order to confirm that the message was CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD.  This facilitator has NEVER done that.  She has either responded with:  "What do you mean by that?" or "Thank you for sharing..." then moves on with her own agenda.  As a result, I frequently felt that I had just wasted my breath and my time discussing an issue.  During the training session on September 27th, she gave me the same basic responses when I brought up the ethical issues of my knocking on the doors of people who KNOW me.  (Given that she is a newly-minted geriatric social worker, she SHOULD HAVE BEEN AWARE of this ethical conflict!)

Not being listened to by a professional, who SHOULD KNOW BETTER, made me feel VOICELESS AND ANGRY!   :evil:

Bones
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2786 on: October 09, 2011, 08:14:19 AM »
Made sense to me, Bones.

Hops

Thanks, Hops!

Bones
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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2787 on: October 09, 2011, 09:31:56 AM »
Quote
Not being listened to by a professional, who SHOULD KNOW BETTER, made me feel VOICELESS AND ANGRY!   

Well I can sympathise Bones.

Yeah, they should know better (if the world was perfect, they would).

But nobody's perfect and there a lot of fools, Ns, idiots...(choose your word)...at large. People also make mistakes. I don't think your nut here makes mistakes, I think she's a fake that nobody has either detected, or, won't get rid of.

I reckon you are justifiably angry. Where does the anger belong? Possibly with a system (and the people in it) who are allowing this person to practice.

The person themselves will just continue until someone stops them.

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2788 on: October 09, 2011, 04:20:04 PM »
Quote
Not being listened to by a professional, who SHOULD KNOW BETTER, made me feel VOICELESS AND ANGRY!   

Well I can sympathize Bones.

Yeah, they should know better (if the world was perfect, they would).

But nobody's perfect and there a lot of fools, Ns, idiots...(choose your word)...at large. People also make mistakes. I don't think your nut here makes mistakes, I think she's a fake that nobody has either detected, or, won't get rid of.

I reckon you are justifiably angry. Where does the anger belong? Possibly with a system (and the people in it) who are allowing this person to practice.

The person themselves will just continue until someone stops them.

I don't know where the anger belongs.  I'm just wondering how long it will take for the system, (and the people in it), to recognize what she is doing and not doing before an authority figure wises up.  I get the sense that she's already gotten one ass-chewing from her supervisor when I brought the ethical issue to her attention.  The reason I sense that is because the ex-facilitator acted real COLD towards me during the screening session at the grocery store.  If her butt got chewed out, so be it.  Ethics CANNOT be ignored!
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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #2789 on: October 09, 2011, 06:19:09 PM »
Quote
Ethics CANNOT be ignored!
Bones, you get my vote.

I wish I knew more people like you, and fewer people without morals.