Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1304202 times)

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3150 on: January 26, 2012, 09:00:42 AM »
For those who are parents, what are your thoughts on the first letter?

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120126

For me, I guess I'm "Old School".
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3151 on: January 26, 2012, 09:05:53 AM »
Maybe it's just me, but I have a different "take" on why this conflict is happening.

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120125

Is it possible that the parents, in this scenario, are attempting to undermine this young woman's self-confidence as an attempt to force absolute, total, unquestioned control as if she were still a baby?

What do you think?
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3152 on: January 26, 2012, 09:19:06 AM »
And once again, I feel that the Annies have blown it!

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/child-from-previous-affair.html

"Don't rush into a divorce?"  My A$$!  In the letter writer's shoes, I would have changed the locks, contacted a divorce lawyer, and looked into how to take care of that "newly renovated love nest" for my financial benefit after the crap he's pulled all these years!  Sheesh!   :roll:
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3153 on: January 26, 2012, 10:50:20 AM »
A few moments ago, I received an e-mail containing a "joke" that made fun of school shootings, lock-downs, kids with disabilities, etc.  (The e-mail was from a relative of mine.)  In the e-mail, a young child is described in such a way as to infer that the child is on the Autism Spectrum co-morbid with ADHD.  (I've encountered children like that when I was working in a school for the Deaf.  It happens.  Having been born with multiple disabilities, including the possibility of Asperger's, I empathize with the kid who has these neurological challenges because of the way the child's brain is wired.)  This relative hints that all that kid needs is "a good beating...ha-ha-ha!"  I wrote him back informing him that I fail to see the "humor" in his joke.  (I didn't tell him that I had been FREQUENTLY beaten BECAUSE my disabilities made the NWomb-Donor "look bad".)

This is also the same relative who sent me a racist joke after I had shared with him about the fact that half of my ancestry is African-American.  That joke inferred that "lynching is funny" and actually used the N-Word as the "punch line"!   :shock:  (Yes, I chewed him out for that too!)

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!?
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teartracks

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3154 on: January 26, 2012, 12:11:43 PM »



Hi Bones,

In our FOO tribe, we were taught, even encouraged to spotlight what was wrong with others, especially those we should have loved the most.  Was it Thumper who said, "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all."

I loathe the thought of children being at the other end of crude remarks.  Seems like the young ones get it from every side, doesn't it?

I'm not sure even Voltaire could defend some of the stuff that our society churns out nowadays.

tt
PS  Half + my life was spent learning wrongheadedness.  The other half has been spent trying to unlearn it.  Ugh!!!






  
« Last Edit: January 26, 2012, 12:14:09 PM by teartracks »

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3155 on: January 26, 2012, 04:58:23 PM »



Hi Bones,

In our FOO tribe, we were taught, even encouraged to spotlight what was wrong with others, especially those we should have loved the most.  Was it Thumper who said, "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all."

I loathe the thought of children being at the other end of crude remarks.  Seems like the young ones get it from every side, doesn't it?

I'm not sure even Voltaire could defend some of the stuff that our society churns out nowadays.

tt
PS  Half + my life was spent learning wrongheadedness.  The other half has been spent trying to unlearn it.  Ugh!!!
  

Thanks, TT.

I'm in a bit of a foul mood at the moment.

Last night, in the middle of the night, in the condominium development where I live, the alarm system went off within the two conjoined condo buildings.  I'm the building captain in my building but the other building does not have a building captain...requiring me to act as the building captain for both buildings during this emergency.  No one was sure if one of the condo units might have had a fire smoldering in the wall so I encouraged everyone to evacuate until the fire department arrived to check all the units in the two buildings.  Some residents refused to take the situation seriously and went straight back to bed; others kept asking me what to do during the emergency while I was trying to keep track of who was where, from two buildings, in case the firemen had to go rescue someone in their unit.  Bottom line, there is NO emergency plan in place in my condo development and I am the only CERT trained person here.  The fact that children were also impacted during this emergency added to my concern for everyone's safety.

Fast forward....I sent an e-mail to the HOA Board and property management informing them that I had discussed last night's incident with the county emergency official and the head of the county CERT organization.  The schedules of these two people have an opening to come to our next scheduled home owners meeting, in February, to add their voices to mine about emergency preparedness and why it is critical.  (Their schedules are VERY HEAVY given that they are dealing with emergencies county-wide so when I learned they were available for the next meeting, I grabbed the opportunity.)  The response I got back from the Board and property management basically asked:  "Why can't I wait until March when it's more convenient for THEM?"  (Are they EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?)
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teartracks

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3156 on: January 26, 2012, 05:19:57 PM »



'sokay Bones!

tt


BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3157 on: January 26, 2012, 05:30:51 PM »
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3158 on: January 27, 2012, 02:57:15 AM »
Having insomnia since 1:00 this morning and can't get back to sleep.
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sKePTiKal

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3159 on: January 27, 2012, 08:47:35 AM »
Quote
The response I got back from the Board and property management basically asked:  "Why can't I wait until March when it's more convenient for THEM?"  (Are they EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?)

No, Bones - they're not kidding. It very well could be that they are afraid to learn - have it pointed out - that they "should" be doing something that they're not currently; or that they'll need to correct some obvious safety issues. That would wind up being more work or cost for them, you know? And of course, in the process they have to discount the risk that does exist.

That's pretty standard human behavior... we all do something like this, at one time or another. Even me... I have a whole list of things that "should" be done...
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3160 on: January 27, 2012, 09:13:37 AM »
Quote
The response I got back from the Board and property management basically asked:  "Why can't I wait until March when it's more convenient for THEM?"  (Are they EFFING KIDDING ME?!?!?)

No, Bones - they're not kidding. It very well could be that they are afraid to learn - have it pointed out - that they "should" be doing something that they're not currently; or that they'll need to correct some obvious safety issues. That would wind up being more work or cost for them, you know? And of course, in the process they have to discount the risk that does exist.

That's pretty standard human behavior... we all do something like this, at one time or another. Even me... I have a whole list of things that "should" be done...

Thanks, P.R.

I understand that this is pretty standard human behavior.  What frightens me is that we have people of all ages, from newborn to senior citizens, along with people who have a variety of health issues, physical challenges, disabilities, who are at risk.  For example, one building is the only building that has an elevator.  There are disabled people who moved in there BECAUSE it has an elevator.  During an emergency, the elevator would be unavailable and there is NO plan in place on how to get the disabled to safety!  (The earthquake should have been a wake-up call then!)

This person who is willing to come and talk about what needs to be done is doing this at no charge.  The guest speaker knows what I'm up against with this situation.  During one of my numerous efforts to talk up emergency preparedness, (being prepared individually as well as a community), one of the Board members commented to me:  "That's nice to think about but it's too much of a bother."  I feel that the continued inertia of the Board puts everyone at risk when they continue to blow off and ignore an issue that is staring them in the face!  I hate to see a newborn or a person in a wheelchair killed because the Powers-that-be refuse to get off their butts and even THINK!  Time and time again, the attitude I have observed has been:  "Now that WE are on the Board, WE don't have to listen to anyone!"  (This attitude has been demonstrated to others to the extent that other condo owners have gotten disgusted and stopped coming to the owners' meetings.  And the Board continues to ignore, ignore, ignore and do their own little merry thing.)  My sense, for what it's worth, is that the "group mind" is thinking, "If I ignore this, it will NEVER happen!"  (When I was taking classes at a community college many decades ago, I learned that this concept is called "group think".  An example of "group think" is Pearl Harbor.  The Powers-that-be back then were given numerous warnings and indicators about what was coming and they refused to believe that Pearl Harbor could ever be attacked.  History proved otherwise and a LOT of people died as a result.)

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3161 on: January 27, 2012, 12:14:27 PM »



Bones/PR,

This type of administration is pervasive.  Our homeowners insurance was on the verge of being cancelled because the person at the other end responsible for applying it to our account put it in some other account.  Add insult to injury, the bank here, the powers that be there all put the responsibility on us to prove that we had indeed sent our payment on time.

I have a friend who was on unemployment.  He found work.  Called, cancelled his unemployment 'prvileges'  New job is part-time to full-time in any given week.  He is eligible for food stamps.  Reapplied for food stamps.  The records showed that he was still unemployed was still (according to their records) receivng unemployment up to now.  My personal take on this type thing is that the system from top to bottom has shifted to a point where shoddy work is the norm.  If you use the examples you've experienced and what our household has, and the other similar stories that are plentiful, can you imagine what it will be like in a year or two when the standards are lowered and lowered and lowered and the corrupt, substandard administration of government comes to full bloom?  Having set my own standard to live life with expectancy and a since of adventure doesn't allow me to call 1-800-moan.  Is that irresponsible?  I think I'll get a bigger bang watching the circus go from three ring to pup tent size, not even big enough to hold the two headed calf.  Adventure, Oh yeah!  It's an exciting time to be alive, to observe, and look up.

tt





Thanks, TT.

Right now, I feel so frustrated that I could just scream!
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3162 on: January 27, 2012, 04:01:47 PM »
A little while ago, I just basically told the president of the HOA board that I am no longer going to attempt to do things alone.  If no one else is willing to listen, pitch in, and help, then I quit.  If no one else wants to be part of the solution, then they are being part of the problem which I cannot solve alone.  I'm not going to waste my energy talking to thin air and then feeling as if my face is being smashed into a brick wall time and again.

I gave the president a list of examples that I have been observing for the past couple of years and the consistent lack of interest.  I'm tired of trying for nothing.  I'm done.
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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #3163 on: January 28, 2012, 08:57:59 AM »
 :|
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BonesMS

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