Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

checking in..............................

[BonesMS]

The first letter made me grin!   

http://www.creators.com/advice/tales-from-the-front/if-you-really-loved-me.html

[BonesMS]

Yesterday, I went downtown to do some research and wound up witnessing a tantrum being thrown by an N because the staff DARED to say NO to HER demands!     This repository is the same as any other library where people expect to conduct research in peace and quiet.  This place also REQUIRES that every researcher has her/his researcher card ON THEIR PERSON.  (Just like you are REQUIRED to have a library card BEFORE you walk out of a library with a borrowed book, DVD, etc.)

This one iN-DUHvidual walks in and DEMANDS TOTAL access to EVERYTHING even though she did NOT have a researcher card.  The staff explained the rules to her, SEVERAL times only to have this N react by getting LOUDER and LOUDER with HER demands for a SPECIAL EXCEPTION and YELLING:  "WHY CAN'T YOU SIMPLY LOOK UP MY NUMBER THAT I'M (condescendingly) GIVING YOU?!?!?  (As if the repository staff are supposed to be HER servants!   )  The staff patiently explained that these are the rules and there are no exceptions.  She yells back:  "THERE IS TOO MUCH SECURITY IN HERE!!!!"  (WTF?!?!?!?    )  The staff, again, repeated the rules and that there are no exceptions to the security procedures.  The N's response to that last statement was to wander around the room until the staff explained that without a researcher card, she CANNOT stay in the research area!  The N screams LOUDLY:  "ALL RIGHT!!!  ALL RIGHT!!!!  I AM LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  (But proceeded to passively-aggressively continue to wander around as if she was DARING the staff to call security!)

By this point, I was tempted to grab a piece of paper, create and hold up a sign stating:  "WARNING!!!  WARNING!!!  DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!!!!  NARCISSIST IN THE VICINITY!!!"

GEEZ!!!!   Can't even research in peace without encountering a Narcissistic IDIOT!!!!   


Plus today's advice column seems to be about MORE Narcissists!

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/mom-s-a-mess.html

[sKePTiKal]

HA! Imagine how good it would've been to have made the sign - and had everyone in the vicinity break out in laughter.... as I think they would have! No, it's not politically or socially "correct"! But neither was that person's interruption and melt-down.

[BonesMS]

HA! Imagine how good it would've been to have made the sign - and had everyone in the vicinity break out in laughter.... as I think they would have! No, it's not politically or socially "correct"! But neither was that person's interruption and melt-down.

Thanks, P.R.!

I couldn't help but wonder what it was going to take before security was finally called to drag this N-Idiot outta there!!!!!

[BonesMS]

checking in...................

[BonesMS]

Doing some thinking this morning......

Will post later...........................................

[BonesMS]

I've had to do some thinking regarding a volunteer organization, (police auxiliary), I've been involved with for about 15+plus years.  When I first joined this group, there were MANY fun and interesting activities to do.  Since a particular officer has been put in charge of "overseeing" our group, all of the fun and interesting activities that we used to do have been stopped.  Everything must now center on what HE wants.  (Sound familiar?)  Last year, another member and I made a suggestion that was immediately shot down by this officer.  This year, this particular officer approached us with the EXACT SAME SUGGESTION and tried to convince us it was HIS idea all along and DEMANDED that we SHOULD do as he says!!!  (WTF?!?!?!  )  We told him we would "think about it".  Once the other member and I talked privately, we shared our mutual outrage at this latest example of his BS.  Our decision is to basically tell him to take his "idea" and go screw himself! 

[sKePTiKal]

Hey Bones...
I've had that happen to me a lot. In fact, I started to try to intentionally do this with N-ish folk... like some kind of idea Johnny Appleseed. My Nboss just loved to take credit for my work, you know? So, why not feed him my ideas and let him take credit for them?? Sure did lower the everyday conflict.      I finally got to a place where if the idea had value in the first place - I stopped caring whose idea it was to implement it - as long as it was implemented.

Sure, sometimes the idea was watered down or limited or bloated beyond all recognition. But I quickly learned to keep a direct hand in the implementation because often I could avoid that result - by talking about consequences, big picture, etc. - and being directly responsible for accomplishing the task. Being directly responsible was - sometimes - also a nightmare... but not always.

I think this is sort of an occupational hazard for creative types. We can "see" the obvious solution or have an idea that just makes sense any way you look at it -- but the "powers that be" choose to reject it, dismiss it, or disown it because they didn't think of it themselves (or some other reason). Sometimes it's just an idea that's ahead of it's time, too. But anytime someone comes back to me with an idea that was mine to begin with - I jump on that opportunity to "make it happen" - no matter who's going to own it or get credit for it. Most of the time, people knew who did the heavy lifting, you know?

[BonesMS]

Hey Bones...
I've had that happen to me a lot. In fact, I started to try to intentionally do this with N-ish folk... like some kind of idea Johnny Appleseed. My Nboss just loved to take credit for my work, you know? So, why not feed him my ideas and let him take credit for them?? Sure did lower the everyday conflict.      I finally got to a place where if the idea had value in the first place - I stopped caring whose idea it was to implement it - as long as it was implemented.

Sure, sometimes the idea was watered down or limited or bloated beyond all recognition. But I quickly learned to keep a direct hand in the implementation because often I could avoid that result - by talking about consequences, big picture, etc. - and being directly responsible for accomplishing the task. Being directly responsible was - sometimes - also a nightmare... but not always.

I think this is sort of an occupational hazard for creative types. We can "see" the obvious solution or have an idea that just makes sense any way you look at it -- but the "powers that be" choose to reject it, dismiss it, or disown it because they didn't think of it themselves (or some other reason). Sometimes it's just an idea that's ahead of it's time, too. But anytime someone comes back to me with an idea that was mine to begin with - I jump on that opportunity to "make it happen" - no matter who's going to own it or get credit for it. Most of the time, people knew who did the heavy lifting, you know?

Hey, P.R.

In this case, it would have involved the other member taking off from her job, plus my not working at my business, just to make money to totally give away as HE dictated!  And what would we get out of losing time from our own jobs?   NOTHING at best and LOSING EMPLOYMENT AT WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He can look elsewhere for a different source of income!  WE AIN'T IT!!!

[BonesMS]

I guess I'm just in a BAD mood today!   

[sKePTiKal]

Ah... I didn't get the data-bit - the first time - that this would involve so much time, you couldn't take care of your personal obligations. Obviously, that's a "DUH... sorry, I can't do that" situation!!

[BonesMS]

Ah... I didn't get the data-bit - the first time - that this would involve so much time, you couldn't take care of your personal obligations. Obviously, that's a "DUH... sorry, I can't do that" situation!!

Thanks, P.R.

[BonesMS]

Just got my new issue of the AARP magazine and there's an article in it about adult children who become estranged from their parents.

[BonesMS]

In today's "Dear Abby", I can identify with "Lizzie":

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120418