Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[sKePTiKal]

oooh, Bones... sorry bout that MD! Doesn't sound like a good fit for you, at all.

I can relate to the gang violence. Even in my sheltered little corner of the world - we had an intrusion not long ago into the neighborhood. They HAD to have walked in quietly past the guard gate (which stops vehicles without stickers and everyone after a certain time of night). Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, to be able to sleep at night - ya know?

A good solid baseball bat is better than nothing, if you'd happen to need it.

[BonesMS]

oooh, Bones... sorry bout that MD! Doesn't sound like a good fit for you, at all.

I can relate to the gang violence. Even in my sheltered little corner of the world - we had an intrusion not long ago into the neighborhood. They HAD to have walked in quietly past the guard gate (which stops vehicles without stickers and everyone after a certain time of night). Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, to be able to sleep at night - ya know?

A good solid baseball bat is better than nothing, if you'd happen to need it.

Thanks, P.R.

[BonesMS]

Just something to think about......

If you have to change doctors, within a medical office that you have been going to for DECADES, and the new doctor is dismissive, constantly interrupts every sentence that comes out of your mouth, blows off your concerns, CLEARLY did NOT review your medical history, mentions conversations with previous patients, and acts contemptuous toward anyone who disagrees with them and their way of doing things......RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I would NOT trust that person with my health, my life, NOR my sobriety!!!!!

[BonesMS]

As some of you may know, recently I became a member of my HOA Board.  As a result, I've been receiving reports concerning budget details, legal details, delinquencies, etc.  Being the anal-retentive pain-in-the-butt, I've been cross-referencing two of these reports that focus on the same cases and have been asking direct questions to the other Board members and to property management.  One of the Board members responded that this was the first time they have ever received one of the reports, which contains a LOT more details than the other, vague, report they've been getting for years.  (Interesting!!!  Long story behind that bit of business.)

However, the quote "response" unquote I received from property management not only evaded my direct question, it was also condescending, dismissive, referred to me as just a "new board member" and that a property management representative, along with the new board president would meet with me "privately" about my concerns.  (WTF?!?!?   )  Given the amount of money that I'm paying every month, and given the amount of money that the HOA is paying property management to conduct business on our behalf plus given the amount of money that HOA is paying the lawyers to pursue delinquencies, the HOA Board has a right to receive a STRAIGHT answer to a DIRECT question!!!  Property management is an EMPLOYEE!!!  They are NOT the boss and they are DEFINITELY NOT my mother!!!  Don't hand me and the HOA Board a bunch of cockamamie BS while refusing to answer a direct question and talking down to me as if I'm some sort of troublesome child!  The HOA is NOT paying them to play BS games!   

Know what I mean? 

[BonesMS]

As some of you may know, recently I became a member of my HOA Board.  As a result, I've been receiving reports concerning budget details, legal details, delinquencies, etc.  Being the anal-retentive pain-in-the-butt, I've been cross-referencing two of these reports that focus on the same cases and have been asking direct questions to the other Board members and to property management.  One of the Board members responded that this was the first time they have ever received one of the reports, which contains a LOT more details than the other, vague, report they've been getting for years.  (Interesting!!!  Long story behind that bit of business.)

However, the quote "response" unquote I received from property management not only evaded my direct question, it was also condescending, dismissive, referred to me as just a "new board member" and that a property management representative, along with the new board president would meet with me "privately" about my concerns.  (WTF?!?!?   )  Given the amount of money that I'm paying every month, and given the amount of money that the HOA is paying property management to conduct business on our behalf plus given the amount of money that HOA is paying the lawyers to pursue delinquencies, the HOA Board has a right to receive a STRAIGHT answer to a DIRECT question!!!  Property management is an EMPLOYEE!!!  They are NOT the boss and they are DEFINITELY NOT my mother!!!  Don't hand me and the HOA Board a bunch of cockamamie BS while refusing to answer a direct question and talking down to me as if I'm some sort of troublesome child!  The HOA is NOT paying them to play BS games!   

Know what I mean? 

Short update:

Property management finally started giving answers to the questions.  It remains to be seen how straight the answers really are as time goes on.

[BonesMS]

checking in.............................................

[BonesMS]

This is OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/stuart-chaifetz-secretly-tapes-autistic-son-school-discovers-220500111.html

NO child deserves to be treated that way, in school, by adults WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sKePTiKal]

Welcome to politics, Bones...

there are seldom straight answers... and one thing I've learned over time, is that no matter what is decided, what rule is enforced (or loosened)... someone somewhere isn't going to be happy about it. The people making decisions need to understand that it's not possible to make or keep everyone happy, all at one time. You simply have to point your sails in the direction of the best outcome for the most people.

Just because there are no simple, straight, b&w answers... doesn't mean (all the time) that the "game is rigged", or that there's something nefarious going on. It's very, very true that sometimes it does. That's why I cling to my research, look for data -- and do my own analysis -- and listen to a lot of people's opinions. The very same skill I learned in healing - to find out as much as I can, look at it a lot of different ways, then let it SIT for awhile - seems to work pretty well with political issues, too. Remember you have those skills, are an expert at using them even (!), and you'll be OK.

I still think you're going to do a lot of good on the board.

[BonesMS]

Welcome to politics, Bones...

there are seldom straight answers... and one thing I've learned over time, is that no matter what is decided, what rule is enforced (or loosened)... someone somewhere isn't going to be happy about it. The people making decisions need to understand that it's not possible to make or keep everyone happy, all at one time. You simply have to point your sails in the direction of the best outcome for the most people.

Just because there are no simple, straight, b&w answers... doesn't mean (all the time) that the "game is rigged", or that there's something nefarious going on. It's very, very true that sometimes it does. That's why I cling to my research, look for data -- and do my own analysis -- and listen to a lot of people's opinions. The very same skill I learned in healing - to find out as much as I can, look at it a lot of different ways, then let it SIT for awhile - seems to work pretty well with political issues, too. Remember you have those skills, are an expert at using them even (!), and you'll be OK.

I still think you're going to do a lot of good on the board.

Thanks, P.R.

One of the things I always do is ask a LOT of questions.....even if they are considered "not politically correct" as property management tried to infer.  One of the things I have learned from the seminars I've attended is that property management does NOT run the Board of Directors.  They are EMPLOYEES.  When I see evidence of actions they've taken, WITHOUT PRIOR DISCUSSION WITH THE BOARD, notify homeowners AFTER THE FACT while CHARGING US for what they've just done, I WILL ASK QUESTIONS!!!!!  They don't like being called on it???  TOO BAD!!!!  I don't like them acting free and easy with HOA money...which includes MY money!!!!!

[sKePTiKal]

I know just what you mean, Bones!

[BonesMS]

I know just what you mean, Bones!

Thanks, P.R.!

[BonesMS]

As some of you may know, recently I became a member of my HOA Board.  As a result, I've been receiving reports concerning budget details, legal details, delinquencies, etc.  Being the anal-retentive pain-in-the-butt, I've been cross-referencing two of these reports that focus on the same cases and have been asking direct questions to the other Board members and to property management.  One of the Board members responded that this was the first time they have ever received one of the reports, which contains a LOT more details than the other, vague, report they've been getting for years.  (Interesting!!!  Long story behind that bit of business.)

However, the quote "response" unquote I received from property management not only evaded my direct question, it was also condescending, dismissive, referred to me as just a "new board member" and that a property management representative, along with the new board president would meet with me "privately" about my concerns.  (WTF?!?!?   )  Given the amount of money that I'm paying every month, and given the amount of money that the HOA is paying property management to conduct business on our behalf plus given the amount of money that HOA is paying the lawyers to pursue delinquencies, the HOA Board has a right to receive a STRAIGHT answer to a DIRECT question!!!  Property management is an EMPLOYEE!!!  They are NOT the boss and they are DEFINITELY NOT my mother!!!  Don't hand me and the HOA Board a bunch of cockamamie BS while refusing to answer a direct question and talking down to me as if I'm some sort of troublesome child!  The HOA is NOT paying them to play BS games!   

Know what I mean? 

Yep!!!  I'm pretty sure I have PISSED some people off!!!!

A little while ago, I received an e-mail from the newly-elected HOA Board president "inviting" me to a "private" meeting with him and property management concerning the questions I have been asking, (and have a RIGHT to ask).  He "cc'ed" the president of the property management company along with one other member of property management staff.  I also noticed that ALL of the other Board members were specifically EXCLUDED.  I responded:  "Thank you for the invitation.  I choose to decline at this time."

Then I get a NASTY e-mail DEMANDING if I consider him not up to the job as the newly-elected HOA Board president!!  (WTF?!?!?!?!?)  And, once again, he's sending a "cc" to property management while EXCLUDING ALL OTHER MEMBERS OF THE BOARD.  (Divide and conquer....sound familiar?)  My next response was:  "I choose to decline.  Thank you."

What part of the word "NO" do they not understand?   

[BonesMS]

I couldn't help but feel that my intelligence was being insulted because I DARED to ask questions and demand answers plus be given overdue documents that should have been given to the Board YEARS ago.  From my perspective, for what it's worth, I don't see the point in wasting my time in a useless "private" meeting, with the new HOA president and property management if the intention of the meeting is to intimidate me into silent compliance with whatever property management wants to do.  If they, (property management), expect me to blindly rubber-stamp whatever is put in front of me, think again!  As it was once said on the TV program:  "In Living Color":  "This Homey Don't Play That!"

[sKePTiKal]

"In Living Color":  "This Homey Don't Play That!"

I was just wondering the other day, if I was the only person to remember this line Bones! Thanks for the smile.

Sounds like the HOA is subordinate to the property co, Bones. I don't know - that could be normal for Condo Associations? In my case, our neighborhood has about 300 residents, the HOA kinda deals with all the common areas, the marina, and security contracts and "the rules"... and the prop mgmt company only handles communications with the residents, helps with organizing the several annual community events... it's our HOA that is the legal entity for the community, though... not the prop company. It sounds like your situation is exactly the reverse... and has been - in practice - for a long time. The HOA can even foreclose on properties, if the annual fee isn't paid - that was news to me! Who knew?

Whether that's "right" or not... I sure don't know. Maybe you've just found the fly in the soup, too! Sure looks like they expect you to put on your "good girl hat" and not question a thing; just do what you're told. But ya know? I would've gone to the meeting on the chance that someone would've let something revealing slip...

... but I'd be wearing my armored undies, in case they were more in a$$ kicking mode!

[BonesMS]

"In Living Color":  "This Homey Don't Play That!"

I was just wondering the other day, if I was the only person to remember this line Bones! Thanks for the smile.

Sounds like the HOA is subordinate to the property co, Bones. I don't know - that could be normal for Condo Associations? In my case, our neighborhood has about 300 residents, the HOA kinda deals with all the common areas, the marina, and security contracts and "the rules"... and the prop mgmt company only handles communications with the residents, helps with organizing the several annual community events... it's our HOA that is the legal entity for the community, though... not the prop company. It sounds like your situation is exactly the reverse... and has been - in practice - for a long time. The HOA can even foreclose on properties, if the annual fee isn't paid - that was news to me! Who knew?

Whether that's "right" or not... I sure don't know. Maybe you've just found the fly in the soup, too! Sure looks like they expect you to put on your "good girl hat" and not question a thing; just do what you're told. But ya know? I would've gone to the meeting on the chance that someone would've let something revealing slip...

... but I'd be wearing my armored undies, in case they were more in a$$ kicking mode!

Thanks, P.R.

I couldn't help but notice that property management expects, even demands, that I be VOICELESS and allow them to do whatever they want with HOA money, which also involves MY money.  As I continued to read through the binder that was given me, I realized that if I had agreed to this so-called "private" meeting with the new HOA president and a representative of property management as their attempt to force me into silent compliance, property management would have been charging the HOA $100.00 AN HOUR for that stupid, useless, unnecessary meeting!!!!     I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The idiots don't seem to get that (a) I've graduated Summa Cum Laude from a university, (b) I have a Masters degree, (c) I KNOW HOW TO READ!!!!  Oh, and one other thing, I HAVE A RIGHT TO CRITICAL THINKING AND ASKING QUESTIONS when I see things that are NOT right!

Do I sound PISSED?!?!?!?!?