Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

Trying to make sense of something.............

[BonesMS]

Computer seems to be acting up this morning while trying to post anything.

The issue that has me scratching my head is why do some individuals DEMAND that self-employed provide their services for FREE when everyone is struggling to pay bills while underemployed or unemployed?  I've had it done to me and, recently, I was asked to request another self-employed person to donate their services and I told the requestors that they are self-employed for a reason....it does not mean they are rich enough to do stuff for free on demand.  The group has the means to get funding to pay for these services if they really want them....they just have to decide if they want to pay for one hour or more of the work.  Their attitude is:  "FREE is more CONVENIENT."

Not in my book!  It's NOT convenient for the person doing the work! 

[sKePTiKal]

Remind 'em that they'll get what they pay for, Bones....

People who are self-employed are often perceived as not having a "real job" by others. This is nutz, because the self-employed do it all. Like the "Dave" character in the Staples commercials... I guess the grass looks greener: no boss, no meetings, no bean-counters, no annoying colleagues... but then, people also perceive the self-employed as taking a bigger risk. Maybe they're not, you know?

In reality, when someone takes a job with a company, one is STILL self-employed: you are trading off a few occupational hats (book-keeping, HR, insurance, taxes) to someone else for a more tightly defined list of daily job responsibilities and a paycheck.

[BonesMS]

Remind 'em that they'll get what they pay for, Bones....

People who are self-employed are often perceived as not having a "real job" by others. This is nutz, because the self-employed do it all. Like the "Dave" character in the Staples commercials... I guess the grass looks greener: no boss, no meetings, no bean-counters, no annoying colleagues... but then, people also perceive the self-employed as taking a bigger risk. Maybe they're not, you know?

In reality, when someone takes a job with a company, one is STILL self-employed: you are trading off a few occupational hats (book-keeping, HR, insurance, taxes) to someone else for a more tightly defined list of daily job responsibilities and a paycheck.

Thanks, P.R.

It appears that those who are NOT self-employed have NO concept of how hard it is to BE self-employed.....especially in this economy!  I became self-employed out of necessity because no one wanted to hire someone my age with my disabilities and the bills still needed to be paid.  Others who are self-employed are probably in the same boat.....forced out of their old job, been unable to find another job, so they put their talents to work.

[BonesMS]

Feeling out of sorts this morning and not sleeping well either.

Just got a communication, from a third party, informing me that a mutual N wants me to store her stuff in my home....indefinitely.  I responded back that I WILL CHARGE STORAGE FEES as MY home is NOT free storage NOR a dumping ground for other people's stuff that they don't have room for!!!  Otherwise, she could pay a public storage facility to keep her stuff!  NOT my problem!  (I halfway expect to get a NASTY reaction for DARING to DEFY the N's ORDERS!)

Then I get another e-mail from someone I saw in passing Monday evening while I was sitting in a committee meeting.  The new co-chair of Monday's committee reminded this other individual, as she walked by, that the committee she is on was scheduled to meet on Wednesday evening, (last night).  This other individual acknowledged the date and time of this other committee meeting and walked on while I waved good-bye and turned back to the meeting.  She didn't show up for the committee meeting last night.  She e-mailed me this morning accusing me of telling her it was next Tuesday!     We had not seen each other since she walked by on Monday and it was the co-chair/chair of both committees that reminded her.....not me!

What is wrong with this picture?   

[BonesMS]

checking in.......................

[BonesMS]

Does the letter about "Sharon" sound familiar:

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/a-moment-of-silence-for-sharon.html

[BonesMS]

checking in........................................

[BonesMS]

I'm feeling a bit frustrated this morning.

I know I'm anal retentive about a lot of details to the extent that I drive people CRAZY with questions.  With my home-based business, one of the things I obsess about is making sure I get the contract RIGHT so that there is NO question about a meeting of the minds!  (After watching the various TV court shows involving contract cases, I try to learn from those mistakes and avoid those headaches.)

I just received an inquiry asking me if I could research an ancestor in a relatively large state....no dates, no city, and the family name is so numerous that there could be BILLIONS and ZILLIONS of people with that name!  I sent the person a first draft of my proposed contract and requested that this person please read it and assist me with additional information because some Census records are NOT indexed by name, which requires that I know the city and state the ancestor lived in at a given time.  Otherwise, they would be paying me an hourly rate for wandering in circles and finding NOTHING if I don't have the information I need to narrow down where I need to search.

This morning, I receive an e-mail response from the person making the inquiry and this person clearly has NOT read the contract!  This person is attempting to act on the assumption that I work at a flat-rate and that only $100.00 will cover EVERYTHING!  I wrote back with a polite request that this person read the contract and to please answer the questions I still have before I can finalize anything.

I don't understand people who do this kind of stuff!

[BonesMS]

checking in while recovering from a physically strenuous weekend.  I need to get out more as I need to exercise.  Sitting alone for hours is not good.

[BonesMS]

here...............

[BonesMS]

Sounds painfully familiar:

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/redefining-family.html

[Meh]

Bones, when you were talking about genealogy before I hadn't realized that you did this as a home business. That's very resourceful and creative of you.

That is such a cool job!

Do you ever watch that Brad Meltzers Decoded show on the History channel? I love it!
I think he has written some books also but I haven't read them.

It kind of reminds me of what you do.

[BonesMS]

Bones, when you were talking about genealogy before I hadn't realized that you did this as a home business. That's very resourceful and creative of you.

That is such a cool job!

Do you ever watch that Brad Meltzers Decoded show on the History channel? I love it!
I think he has written some books also but I haven't read them.

It kind of reminds me of what you do.

Thanks, Starlight!

This is the type of work that I LOVE to do as I can't get enough of genealogy!  Unfortunately, I don't have cable so I'm unable to watch the History Channel or many other programs for that matter.  Ever since the changeover to digital, I lost the ability to watch several shows.

The only drawback to my work is when I encounter someone who gives me extremely little information and then expects me to find what they want.  When I was forced to play the "20 Questions Game" to try and narrow down which enumeration district to search for within a city and state 10-year Census record, the person responded to me with:  "I was affording you the courtesy of giving you my answer....."  (WTF?!?!?  Does this person have ANY idea HOW MANY enumeration districts EXIST within a given state?!?!?  Not all Census records are indexed by name which means I have to know the approximate Enumeration District to search.)

[BonesMS]

Sounds familiar:

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/broken-family-ties.html