Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

Jeez. What is with some people? Entitled, entitled, entitled... and of course, they've done nothing wrong - and were obviously not taught basic etiquette or human decency either. Good on you for putting up with it - while at the same time putting out real help.

Thanks, P.R.

Based on my observations yesterday, everyone working in the EOC had several challenges to deal with and had to stay on an even keel while talking with difficult callers.

[BonesMS]

checking in........

[BonesMS]

Bones? No power yet?
I've heard some of the suburbs are starting to get power; haven't checked in w/Baltimore for a day. Didn't want to drain her cell phone.
Did it cool off there, like it did here last night? Pretty bad when 90 sounds "cool", huh?

Thanks, P.R.

The electricity kept fluctuating with the power company turning it on, then off, then on, then off again.  Drove my neighbors nuts and they were either banging on my door or calling my cellphone asking me what was going on and why.  As it turned out, several members of my CERT group were called out for deployment and I was one of the team.  This was my very first experience working in an actual Emergency Operations Center.  I had studied it, in theory, when I was taking classes to become qualified to do this and now I had the opportunity to actually see it in action.  My team helped to answer the phones to refer storm victims to various resources nearby.

One caller did NOT like the answer she was getting and kept calling back in the hope of getting the answer she wanted.  (Never happened.)  She called in to inform us that a tree had fallen onto her vehicle and it was completely totaled.  Unfortunately, she only had liability insurance on it and she also made it a point to tell us she is a renter, not a home owner.  Then she demanded that she be given restitution for her totaled vehicle!      (Huh?  *Scratches head*)  It was explained that the EOC is unable to provide that kind of assistance.  She did NOT like that answer and demanded to speak to someone higher up!  (At the time she called, all of the higher ups were in the midst of a conference call with other officials across the state to coordinate what needed to be done next for this emergency.)  The first CERT member informed her of this meeting and that she would get a call back as soon as this meeting concluded.  She did NOT like that answer either as she demanded IMMEDIATE RESTITUTION!  She hangs up and immediately redials, hoping to get a different person with the answer she wanted.  That's when the second CERT member picked up the phone and had to give her the same answer as the first CERT member.  (We were all sitting together, taking turns answering the one phone so that no one would get burnt out and we could brainstorm possible solutions to this one headache.)  Needless to say, the caller did NOT like the answer she got from the second CERT member and DEMANDED that we pull the supervisor out of the meeting IMMEDIATELY because she was entitled to an answer NOW!      The second CERT member calmly explained, again, that the supervisor could not be interrupted and that she would get a return call as soon as the meeting was over.  She hangs up and immediately calls back a THIRD time and I was the lucky one to get her.  (By then, I had become familiar with her scenario and recognized the call as soon as she started up with me.)  I told her to "please hold while I consult with other emergency workers", which placated her temporarily, and CERT member number two picked up the phone and explained, AGAIN, that she would get a call back as soon as the meeting concluded.  About a minute after that call, our supervisor returned and we filled him in on what was going on with this one caller.  (I did not envy his having to call her back as I knew that she was NOT going to like the answer she was going to get......the EOC is NOT in a position to GIVE her a NEW vehicle for free!  She gambled with purchasing only liability insurance and, unfortunately, she lost the bet!)  *Shakes head*

BTW, here is today's "Dear Abby".  Sounds like it is themed on N's!

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120702

In the aftermath of all this mess and craziness, I learned something new!  This storm that barreled through with such destruction was called a "Derecho" and that no one could predict it!!!!  WHO KNEW?!?!?!?!?!?

[sKePTiKal]

Well, me - as Twigs - lived through one previously in '69. As chance would have it, I fell asleep on the couch that evening and was deserted by hubs & the dog. I woke up to seeing it on the radar - knew what it was by the signature bow shape - just as it was bearing down on you & my D in Baltimore.

During the phase, when I was researching Twigs' timeline, I remembered this and researched the papers about it to clarify dates; it was July 4, 1969. At least that weekend. I'd not known about the phenomenon either, until then. It was our dog that sounded the alert - very, very anxious behavior. We drove 30 miles IN the storm - another great decision on my mom's part! LOL...

Is your power back on? Internet? My D called yesterday - that's when hers came back. Considering how widespread the damage was - this is amazingly fast!

edit in: ya know, cars were a lot better made in those days and lots heavier... otherwise driving in that storm would've scared me more than it did. We had a '63 Galaxie 500. Lots of strong sheet metal and a heavy V8.

[BonesMS]

Well, me - as Twigs - lived through one previously in '69. As chance would have it, I fell asleep on the couch that evening and was deserted by hubs & the dog. I woke up to seeing it on the radar - knew what it was by the signature bow shape - just as it was bearing down on you & my D in Baltimore.

During the phase, when I was researching Twigs' timeline, I remembered this and researched the papers about it to clarify dates; it was July 4, 1969. At least that weekend. I'd not known about the phenomenon either, until then. It was our dog that sounded the alert - very, very anxious behavior. We drove 30 miles IN the storm - another great decision on my mom's part! LOL...

Is your power back on? Internet? My D called yesterday - that's when hers came back. Considering how widespread the damage was - this is amazingly fast!

edit in: ya know, cars were a lot better made in those days and lots heavier... otherwise driving in that storm would've scared me more than it did. We had a '63 Galaxie 500. Lots of strong sheet metal and a heavy V8.

Thanks, P.R.

There are still trucks/cherry pickers around working on street lights and wires.  I have electricity for now but my Internet keeps fluctuating.  I'll be connected one minute then lose it the next second.  WEIRD!!!!

Listening to that wind late Friday night/early Saturday morning, my car would not have stood driving in that!  Some huge trees were literally ripped out of the ground, huge root ball and all and thrown onto houses and/or vehicles!!!   

[Hopalong]

Oboy. I'll join in the storm stories...

Lost power for 2 days in town. Oh those were hot nights, but we (friend I'm staying with and I) are lucky to have the AC back on in our quiet neighborhood (about 2 miles from town). My workplace outside town lost it too--I was scheduled to work Sat. and found trees on cars in the parking lot, no power/phone/water/internet, so closed the place and worked remotely at a local coffee shop.

The area's still recovering as are so many others. A friend of a friend was killed when he went on his deck to try to get their dog in--tree fell on him. A couple other deaths locally too, from falling trees.

The first night, I slept with both windows open (they're fairly low to the ground). The next morning, a neighbor told her he'd seen a large black bear walk right past my windows...it then crossed his lawn. Wowzers. We occasionally get bears in town, I imagine the storm drove him out of the big park not far from here. (Some development there isn't helping.)

I'm going outside to look for bear hair.

love,
Hops

[BonesMS]

Oboy. I'll join in the storm stories...

Lost power for 2 days in town. Oh those were hot nights, but we (friend I'm staying with and I) are lucky to have the AC back on in our quiet neighborhood (about 2 miles from town). My workplace outside town lost it too--I was scheduled to work Sat. and found trees on cars in the parking lot, no power/phone/water/internet, so closed the place and worked remotely at a local coffee shop.

The area's still recovering as are so many others. A friend of a friend was killed when he went on his deck to try to get their dog in--tree fell on him. A couple other deaths locally too, from falling trees.

The first night, I slept with both windows open (they're fairly low to the ground). The next morning, a neighbor told her he'd seen a large black bear walk right past my windows...it then crossed his lawn. Wowzers. We occasionally get bears in town, I imagine the storm drove him out of the big park not far from here. (Some development there isn't helping.)

I'm going outside to look for bear hair.

love,
Hops

WHOA!!!!!!!     

[sKePTiKal]

Out in Colorado, the bears were displaced by the fires and are trying to find food in the areas that were levelled. Most black bears aren't too aggressive... but if you see one just STOP, Hops. The bear will move on.

Glad you're OK. Those are awful awful storms.

[BonesMS]

Out in Colorado, the bears were displaced by the fires and are trying to find food in the areas that were levelled. Most black bears aren't too aggressive... but if you see one just STOP, Hops. The bear will move on.

Glad you're OK. Those are awful awful storms.

Wild fires, Derechos, and Black Bears!!!!!

YIKES!!!!!

 

[sKePTiKal]

and don't forget - earthquakes too!! Poor Hops... Mama Nature's fury... then huge, exhausting, emotional changes... don't take it the wrong way, but I'm surely wishing you enough "boredom" that you have a chance to play, dance, and recover for awhile.

Bones, is it getting better up there? It STILL hasn't rained here... and we've been teased with forecast temps dropping to 88, 89... only to have them revised back up to the nineties again. Monday, the breeze was off the ocean - still hot - but it was the first day it didn't physically hurt to go outside. I'm staying in the a/c for the time being. Grocery shopping - and parking on new asphalt - yesterday sent us racing back to the house. The pool is 90+ so it's not exactly a relief either.

[BonesMS]

and don't forget - earthquakes too!! Poor Hops... Mama Nature's fury... then huge, exhausting, emotional changes... don't take it the wrong way, but I'm surely wishing you enough "boredom" that you have a chance to play, dance, and recover for awhile.

Bones, is it getting better up there? It STILL hasn't rained here... and we've been teased with forecast temps dropping to 88, 89... only to have them revised back up to the nineties again. Monday, the breeze was off the ocean - still hot - but it was the first day it didn't physically hurt to go outside. I'm staying in the a/c for the time being. Grocery shopping - and parking on new asphalt - yesterday sent us racing back to the house. The pool is 90+ so it's not exactly a relief either.

Thanks, P.R.

Poor ((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

We're still having heat advisories here even though it rained a little last night.  Just taking things one day at a time.

BTW, what do you think of the second letter in "Dear Abby" today?

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20120704

[sKePTiKal]

Well... a person can't just go NC with everyone who's demanding or controlling in this world. But I do agree with the idea that a simple "no" can be quite powerful.

Here's the thing that bugs me: the former "doormat" is being advised to be controlling, manipulative back... which is the classic power struggle setup. No one "wins" in those - everyone loses...

Another way, is to look for a solution between the obvious choice of "either" and "or"... and try that instead. Part of me believes that my life would be glorious - a total dream - if I didn't have to maintain a connection with my brother through the business. That's a false illusion and I know it. He is still P-A and still doing wack things like asking me to go through a contract, page by page with him and tell him where to sign... but, it's not setting me off into frustrated spirals of triggered "violation" anymore (or hasn't recently). He insists on being this way... it is the way he is... for whatever reason, and I'm not going to change it. So I just change me - I take that kind of behavior off my "outrageous" list... and if I have something else to do I just tell him that means I can't be available to him, let him figure it out for himself -- or ask someone else. And it's not a trespass of any of my boundaries anymore... and it's not gasoline, either.

Am I always able to do this? NOPE, not by a long shot!! But I keep trying to remember to try this - because it's already too hot to get emotionally wound up, too.

[BonesMS]

Well... a person can't just go NC with everyone who's demanding or controlling in this world. But I do agree with the idea that a simple "no" can be quite powerful.

Here's the thing that bugs me: the former "doormat" is being advised to be controlling, manipulative back... which is the classic power struggle setup. No one "wins" in those - everyone loses...

Another way, is to look for a solution between the obvious choice of "either" and "or"... and try that instead. Part of me believes that my life would be glorious - a total dream - if I didn't have to maintain a connection with my brother through the business. That's a false illusion and I know it. He is still P-A and still doing wack things like asking me to go through a contract, page by page with him and tell him where to sign... but, it's not setting me off into frustrated spirals of triggered "violation" anymore (or hasn't recently). He insists on being this way... it is the way he is... for whatever reason, and I'm not going to change it. So I just change me - I take that kind of behavior off my "outrageous" list... and if I have something else to do I just tell him that means I can't be available to him, let him figure it out for himself -- or ask someone else. And it's not a trespass of any of my boundaries anymore... and it's not gasoline, either.

Am I always able to do this? NOPE, not by a long shot!! But I keep trying to remember to try this - because it's already too hot to get emotionally wound up, too.

I hear ya!!

[Hopalong]

Was I conjuring pitiful? In need of advice and instruction? Yoicks. Interweb.
I don't feel that way at all. I often respond to major weather with exhilaration*.
Heat was/is a drag but crisis also brings people together. I like nature/animals a LOT.

Climate change is a whole 'nother story. Nothing exhilarating
about that. Nor about people hurt.

I know my basic bear rules. Lived in the mountains quite far
into Appalachia -- here too, a few years. I'm a townie now but was
a mtn. girl for a good while. I've seen bears from the road now and then.
Most folks in my area who hike, are also conscious of what to do/not do.
On my uncle's farm--one swiped through the screened porch door and
walked right in while they were just behind the window eating their
oatmeal--stuffed her head into the dog food sack. They learned the
bear rules too. (Birdseed and pet food are bear magnets.)

Would've pleased me to greet the evidence of my night visitor though
I'm sad for their habitat stress.

Bones, I really liked that Abby letter. Assertiveness, whoo!
Thanks!

Hops

*Except for earthquakes.

[BonesMS]

Was I conjuring pitiful? In need of advice and instruction? Yoicks. Interweb.
I don't feel that way at all. I often respond to major weather with exhilaration*.
Heat was/is a drag but crisis also brings people together. I like nature/animals a LOT.

Climate change is a whole 'nother story. Nothing exhilarating
about that. Nor about people hurt.

I know my basic bear rules. Lived in the mountains quite far
into Appalachia -- here too, a few years. I'm a townie now but was
a mtn. girl for a good while. I've seen bears from the road now and then.
Most folks in my area who hike, are also conscious of what to do/not do.
On my uncle's farm--one swiped through the screened porch door and
walked right in while they were just behind the window eating their
oatmeal--stuffed her head into the dog food sack. They learned the
bear rules too. (Birdseed and pet food are bear magnets.)

Would've pleased me to greet the evidence of my night visitor though
I'm sad for their habitat stress.

Bones, I really liked that Abby letter. Assertiveness, whoo!
Thanks!

Hops

*Except for earthquakes.

Thanks, Hops!