Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

Feeling VERY aggravated right now with someone who REFUSES to accept NO for an answer!!!!  WHAT PART OF THE WORD "NO" DOES THIS PERSON NOT UNDERSTAND????!!???!!?!?

[Twoapenny]

It's funny how the answers are very different to similar problems in those ones.  I feel sorry for the Grandma in the first letter - it doesn't take much of an effort to invite someone along to some things and teenagers should make an effort to see their grandparents if there isn't a family issue muddying the waters - everyone will be elderly eventually and I'm sure they wouldn't like if if no-one bothered with them.  Yet the response to that one is for her to make more effort.  She could have been lying there dead for three weeks but no-one's checked on her?  That's awful.  I know there might be reasons that aren't mentioned there but assuming there isn't a big deal going on that sounds really uncaring.

The second post mentions a friend whose friends don't include her (similar theme) and the advice there is much more robust, I think - they're not friends, find some new ones.  I feel sorry for both of those posters

Hi, Tupp.

I guess I've gotten cynical in my old age as I was reading the first letter.  I tended to wonder what was NOT mentioned in the letter that could have given a more accurate picture of WHY she was not being invited as much as she wanted.  I've known some people in 3-D life who have attempted to manipulate others to the point where their own children and grandchildren didn't want to deal with them anymore. 

As for the second letter, the person needs to find new friends as the people she is describing are clearly NOT friends!  Acquaintances, maybe, but definitely NOT friends!  Another factor that had me wondering, cynically, when the letter writer commented how she was being left behind....I've seen in 3-D life that one person having the bad habit of being chronically late....not just five minutes late but HOURS late.  This individual, that I knew, was warned that if she wasn't ready to leave when everyone else was ready to leave, then she would be LEFT BEHIND!  She hated the fact that people stopped catering to her.

Again, that may be just the cynic in me after being burned by 3-D people.

No I completely see where you're coming from Bonesie, other perspectives are always possible in every situation.

[BonesMS]

It's funny how the answers are very different to similar problems in those ones.  I feel sorry for the Grandma in the first letter - it doesn't take much of an effort to invite someone along to some things and teenagers should make an effort to see their grandparents if there isn't a family issue muddying the waters - everyone will be elderly eventually and I'm sure they wouldn't like if if no-one bothered with them.  Yet the response to that one is for her to make more effort.  She could have been lying there dead for three weeks but no-one's checked on her?  That's awful.  I know there might be reasons that aren't mentioned there but assuming there isn't a big deal going on that sounds really uncaring.

The second post mentions a friend whose friends don't include her (similar theme) and the advice there is much more robust, I think - they're not friends, find some new ones.  I feel sorry for both of those posters

Hi, Tupp.

I guess I've gotten cynical in my old age as I was reading the first letter.  I tended to wonder what was NOT mentioned in the letter that could have given a more accurate picture of WHY she was not being invited as much as she wanted.  I've known some people in 3-D life who have attempted to manipulate others to the point where their own children and grandchildren didn't want to deal with them anymore. 

As for the second letter, the person needs to find new friends as the people she is describing are clearly NOT friends!  Acquaintances, maybe, but definitely NOT friends!  Another factor that had me wondering, cynically, when the letter writer commented how she was being left behind....I've seen in 3-D life that one person having the bad habit of being chronically late....not just five minutes late but HOURS late.  This individual, that I knew, was warned that if she wasn't ready to leave when everyone else was ready to leave, then she would be LEFT BEHIND!  She hated the fact that people stopped catering to her.

Again, that may be just the cynic in me after being burned by 3-D people.

No I completely see where you're coming from Bonesie, other perspectives are always possible in every situation.

Thanks, Tupp.

[Twoapenny]

Feeling VERY aggravated right now with someone who REFUSES to accept NO for an answer!!!!  WHAT PART OF THE WORD "NO" DOES THIS PERSON NOT UNDERSTAND????!!???!!?!?

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[BonesMS]

Feeling VERY aggravated right now with someone who REFUSES to accept NO for an answer!!!!  WHAT PART OF THE WORD "NO" DOES THIS PERSON NOT UNDERSTAND????!!???!!?!?

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bonesie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks, ((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131104

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/world-s-worst-sister.html

With rellies like these, who needs enemies?  EW!

[Twoapenny]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/world-s-worst-sister.html

With rellies like these, who needs enemies?  EW!

Wow.  That sister is a piece of work.

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/world-s-worst-sister.html

With rellies like these, who needs enemies?  EW!

Wow.  That sister is a piece of work.

EXACTLY!!!!  That sister is NO sister!  She's NOTHING but a B*TCH in the WORST sense of the word!!!!!

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/wishing-a-drinker-would-stop-drinking.html

I can NEVER understand people who walk into public places, such as libraries and doctors' offices, look right at a sign that CLEARLY states:  "NO CELL PHONES" and proceed to whip out their cell phones anyway, disturbing others!!!!  Then THESE MORONS get pissy when the person in authority tells them to knock it off!

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131105

Regarding the second letter, I would have told the Tantrum Thrower......"my house, my rules!"

[BonesMS]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_i_stopped_a_guitar_from_being_buried_with_a_family_member.html

[BonesMS]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/11/dear_prudence_should_i_be_worried_my_6_year_old_is_wetting_himself.html

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20131106

Shaking my head........

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/married-to-a-beautiful-cold-shoulder.html

Regarding the letter from the hair stylist, I can empathize.  I can NEVER figure out WHY people insist on spreading their contagious illnesses wherever they go or insist on sending their sick kids out KNOWING they are sick AND contagious!  Reminds me of when I was still working at a residential school for the Deaf.  One child was battling leukemia so her immune system was NOT at its best.  Around that time, one of the teachers learned she was newly pregnant.  Then another one of the students, (a commuter from the metro area),  walked in the front door CLEARLY COVERED IN MEASLES!!!!!  She got marched straight to the Infirmary and her parents were called to come pick her up!  The kid's mother REFUSED because it was "too inconvenient to keep her home"!     A security officer drove the kid back to her house and the mother was informed that her kid was home, like it or not!  Same dingbat attempted to send the kid BACK to school because SHE didn't want to be bothered with nursing a sick kid and insisted that WE should!  The school nurse told this dingbat that another child was battling leukemia and did NOT need to be exposed to measles plus other adults do NOT want to be exposed to measles either!  The dingbat's response?  Not her problem!  I think CPS finally had to get involved before she GRUDGINGLY let her sick kid stay home to recuperate.  That mess still has me shaking my head!