Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tacky-family-usurps-wedding-.html

Sounds like an N.

My older sister got married last week, second marriage for her and her new hubby, very small, very simple, register office and then the pub afterwards and the nicest thing about it was that no-one else from our family was there so no drama, just a group of people chatting and having a nice time.  Never happens if my mum is around

I understand!!!!  I remember when my brother got married the first time and the NWomb-Donor made an A$$ out of herself at the reception!   

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/at-work-lindsey-novak.html

[Twoapenny]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tacky-family-usurps-wedding-.html

Sounds like an N.

My older sister got married last week, second marriage for her and her new hubby, very small, very simple, register office and then the pub afterwards and the nicest thing about it was that no-one else from our family was there so no drama, just a group of people chatting and having a nice time.  Never happens if my mum is around

I understand!!!!  I remember when my brother got married the first time and the NWomb-Donor made an A$$ out of herself at the reception!   

Ha ha, they can be relied upon to do what you expect! My mum is fine at weddings of people she doesn't know all that well but I think it's very telling that of her six children/step-children, none have actually had weddings that family were invited to!  The tendency is to go off quietly and just do it without anyone knowing, it's much easier.  My sister's a romantic, always wanted a real Cinderella type wedding but the first time she got married they just had two witnesses and they were so skint she wore a dress that she paid £8 for.  This time she had a beautiful dress, a small group of friends, a fancy car to take her there and a nice meal afterwards.  She looked really happy   I think some people need to remember it's the bride that's supposed to be the star of the show, not the mum or the mum-in-law!

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/tacky-family-usurps-wedding-.html

Sounds like an N.

My older sister got married last week, second marriage for her and her new hubby, very small, very simple, register office and then the pub afterwards and the nicest thing about it was that no-one else from our family was there so no drama, just a group of people chatting and having a nice time.  Never happens if my mum is around

I understand!!!!  I remember when my brother got married the first time and the NWomb-Donor made an A$$ out of herself at the reception!   

Ha ha, they can be relied upon to do what you expect! My mum is fine at weddings of people she doesn't know all that well but I think it's very telling that of her six children/step-children, none have actually had weddings that family were invited to!  The tendency is to go off quietly and just do it without anyone knowing, it's much easier.  My sister's a romantic, always wanted a real Cinderella type wedding but the first time she got married they just had two witnesses and they were so skint she wore a dress that she paid £8 for.  This time she had a beautiful dress, a small group of friends, a fancy car to take her there and a nice meal afterwards.  She looked really happy   I think some people need to remember it's the bride that's supposed to be the star of the show, not the mum or the mum-in-law!

Exactly!!! 

[Twoapenny]

Need to vent!!!

I've been dealing with Shingles for over a month, living with nerve damage and pain from it, so I am NOT in the best of moods!  I had to go to the grocery as the pantry was running on empty.  While at the grocery, I encounter an acquaintance who wants me to participate in a social event, this weekend, that requires stamina that I don't have right now.  I explained that I've been ill for over a month and I'm not up to socializing yet.  His response?  "But you're out of your house now!"  What part of the concept, "NEEDING FOOD" is NOT understood?!?!?     It was all I could do to bite my tongue and NOT flick off on him!!!! 

Aw, Bones, people like that drive me mad!  I get it with my son: "Well, he looks okay at the minute" - that's because he's been in bed for three days recuperating!  I find those are the times when I love someone to say "oh gosh, is there anything I can do to help?".  It's so appreciated, even if there's nothing they can do, because it makes you feel heard and that you matter.  You did well to bite your tongue, I tend to be rude   I hope you start to feel better soon xx

Thanks, Tupp!!

I have ZERO patience for idiots who think that people with Invisible Disabilities "should just suck it up" and do what they want!  Karma is gonna get 'em!

I know, Bones, it's an odd attitude, isn't it?  I've had people say to me that things used to be worse for disabled people so we shouldn't complain, as if being disabled in some way means you are a second class citizen and that not having the same opportunities is just something you ought to accept instead of wanting/demanding/expecting the same rights as everyone else.  I'm currently involved in a complaint with a bank that refused my son an account because of his disability.  It isn't the end of the world that he can't have this account, he has others so it's not that he can't have an account at all, but I fail to see why he should be offered a lesser range of accounts because he has learning difficulties.  It puts him at a financial disadvantage so I'm pursuing it as a point of principle, but a lot of people have the attitude that I should just accept he doesn't have the same opportunities as a non disabled person would.  I think it's wrong!  I hope you're getting a chance to rest up Bonesi, shingles takes it out of you.  Was it brought on by stress?  i can't remember if I read that was one of the triggers or if that was for something else, my memory is getting so bad these days I have to keep writing everything down xx

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/8/28/1/wedding-dress-alterations-cause-rift-between#disqus-comments

shaking my head.........

[BonesMS]

Need to vent!!!

I've been dealing with Shingles for over a month, living with nerve damage and pain from it, so I am NOT in the best of moods!  I had to go to the grocery as the pantry was running on empty.  While at the grocery, I encounter an acquaintance who wants me to participate in a social event, this weekend, that requires stamina that I don't have right now.  I explained that I've been ill for over a month and I'm not up to socializing yet.  His response?  "But you're out of your house now!"  What part of the concept, "NEEDING FOOD" is NOT understood?!?!?     It was all I could do to bite my tongue and NOT flick off on him!!!! 

Aw, Bones, people like that drive me mad!  I get it with my son: "Well, he looks okay at the minute" - that's because he's been in bed for three days recuperating!  I find those are the times when I love someone to say "oh gosh, is there anything I can do to help?".  It's so appreciated, even if there's nothing they can do, because it makes you feel heard and that you matter.  You did well to bite your tongue, I tend to be rude   I hope you start to feel better soon xx

Thanks, Tupp!!

I have ZERO patience for idiots who think that people with Invisible Disabilities "should just suck it up" and do what they want!  Karma is gonna get 'em!

I know, Bones, it's an odd attitude, isn't it?  I've had people say to me that things used to be worse for disabled people so we shouldn't complain, as if being disabled in some way means you are a second class citizen and that not having the same opportunities is just something you ought to accept instead of wanting/demanding/expecting the same rights as everyone else.  I'm currently involved in a complaint with a bank that refused my son an account because of his disability.  It isn't the end of the world that he can't have this account, he has others so it's not that he can't have an account at all, but I fail to see why he should be offered a lesser range of accounts because he has learning difficulties.  It puts him at a financial disadvantage so I'm pursuing it as a point of principle, but a lot of people have the attitude that I should just accept he doesn't have the same opportunities as a non disabled person would.  I think it's wrong!  I hope you're getting a chance to rest up Bonesi, shingles takes it out of you.  Was it brought on by stress?  i can't remember if I read that was one of the triggers or if that was for something else, my memory is getting so bad these days I have to keep writing everything down xx

Thanks, Tupp.

That bank is WRONG to discriminate against your son and I hope you prevail!  That odd attitude is an OLD attitude that needs to be changed, especially in the 21st Century.  I could get on a soapbox but it's 3:30 in the morning here and it's best to wait until my first cup of coffee before making any speeches.

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/snowbirds-driven-to-the-edge-.html

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2015/8/30/1/friend-loses-her-place-at-dinner#disqus-comments

[BonesMS]

For decades, I was constantly reminded that I could never be "good enough" for anything and called out of my name.  Now, these same idiots suddenly want to "play nice"?!?!?  My attitude toward them is this:  "Y'all had SEVERAL DECADES to treat me like a human being and as family.  All those years, y'all treated me as if I was NOTHING but a pile of worthless $%^#!  You couldn't be bothered to act decent then.  I can't be bothered to be interested in y'all now.  Do yourselves a favor, lose my contact information, get lost, stay lost, and F**K OFF!!!"

[BonesMS]

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-08-30/oliver-sacks-neurologist-and-author-dies-aged-82/6736246

R.I.P.

[Twoapenny]

For decades, I was constantly reminded that I could never be "good enough" for anything and called out of my name.  Now, these same idiots suddenly want to "play nice"?!?!?  My attitude toward them is this:  "Y'all had SEVERAL DECADES to treat me like a human being and as family.  All those years, y'all treated me as if I was NOTHING but a pile of worthless $%^#!  You couldn't be bothered to act decent then.  I can't be bothered to be interested in y'all now.  Do yourselves a favor, lose my contact information, get lost, stay lost, and F**K OFF!!!"

I feel the same, Bonesie!  I've had another incident of 'friends' over the weekend changing plans at the last minute which meant my son and I couldn't go.  I've explained till I'm blue in the face about his problems and how we can't just rush off doing stuff, it has to be planned and then the plans stuck to!  But they either don't understand or don't care, I don't know which, but I'm tired of making allowances - like you, I want people that can, at the very least, be polite and considerate.  And yep, all my family had multiple opportunities to do something when we were kids, even if was just being the one that took us out for an ice cream, you know?  But none of them bothered.  Go where you're celebrated, not where you're tolerated - that's what keeps going through my head now.  I hope they all stop pestering/bothering you soon, it's very draining having to deal with people you don't want to have around.

[BonesMS]

For decades, I was constantly reminded that I could never be "good enough" for anything and called out of my name.  Now, these same idiots suddenly want to "play nice"?!?!?  My attitude toward them is this:  "Y'all had SEVERAL DECADES to treat me like a human being and as family.  All those years, y'all treated me as if I was NOTHING but a pile of worthless $%^#!  You couldn't be bothered to act decent then.  I can't be bothered to be interested in y'all now.  Do yourselves a favor, lose my contact information, get lost, stay lost, and F**K OFF!!!"

I feel the same, Bonesie!  I've had another incident of 'friends' over the weekend changing plans at the last minute which meant my son and I couldn't go.  I've explained till I'm blue in the face about his problems and how we can't just rush off doing stuff, it has to be planned and then the plans stuck to!  But they either don't understand or don't care, I don't know which, but I'm tired of making allowances - like you, I want people that can, at the very least, be polite and considerate.  And yep, all my family had multiple opportunities to do something when we were kids, even if was just being the one that took us out for an ice cream, you know?  But none of them bothered.  Go where you're celebrated, not where you're tolerated - that's what keeps going through my head now.  I hope they all stop pestering/bothering you soon, it's very draining having to deal with people you don't want to have around.

Thanks, Tupp!!!

You're right, it IS draining when you have to deal with idiots who won't listen!

[BonesMS]

checking in........................

[BonesMS]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2015/08/dear_prudence_live_chat_for_aug_31_2015.html