Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie

[BonesMS]

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/4xjpy1/talk_me_off_the_ledge/

And now the song, "One Day More", from Les Miserables is playing in my head!

[BonesMS]

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby

[BonesMS]

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence.html

[BonesMS]

Sooner or later, N's show their true colors.

[BonesMS]

 

[BonesMS]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent

[BonesMS]

I found myself having to remind bf Blueberry that my boundaries WILL BE RESPECTED OR ELSE!!!!!

We got into a heated exchange over the use of my laundry facilities after I received a letter regarding the increase of electricity use and subsequent increase in my utility bills.  He attempted to deny that he EVER offered to pay me extra for using my washer and dryer because, after all, he's already paying me a small amount in rent, and bringing me a FEW groceries, (while trying to whine about the rent being a "financial hardship" for him and IGNORING that his concept of "groceries" would be, MAYBE, ONE EAR OF CORN)!     When he attempted to deny what he previously told me, I responded:  "Oh, really?  Let me play back our initial conversation when you FIRST asked me for permission to use my washer and dryer after yours broke....." (and proceeded to give him a verbatim report)!  I reminded him that (1) I am NOT working and have been UNABLE TO FIND EMPLOYMENT, (2) my monthly pension is SMALL and CANNOT STRETCH ANY FURTHER, (3) I am dealing with health and medical expenses that are BUSTING MY BUDGET, (4) he is WORKING SIX DAYS A WEEK, leaving little or NO time for US, (5) given the amount of hours he is working per week, with his Ph.D. I KNOW that he is pulling in MORE MONEY PER WEEK THAN I'M RECEIVING IN MY PENSION PER MONTH, (6) with this recent receipt of notice that my utility bills are skyrocketing on top of my health and medical issues, either he pay extra for the utilities THAT HE IS INCREASING OR TAKE HIS MESS TO THE LAUNDROMAT AND PAY THERE!!!!!!     (He ponied up the money under MORE grumbling and protest!  I also discovered that he had done SEVERAL loads of laundry, while I was in Philadelphia and NEVER BOTHERED TO CLEAN OUT THE LINT FILTER IN MY DRYER!!  I had SHOWED HIM HOW TO DO THAT AND STRESSED THAT IT IS A SAFETY ISSUE TO TAKE CARE OF!!!  I DON'T NEED TO HAVE MY DRYER TO CATCH FIRE FROM THE OVERFLOWING LINT!  He attempted to plead ignorance and attempted to DENY that as well!  IDIOT!!!!   )  SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (Can I SMACK HIM NOW?!?!?!?!?)

Bones

I've come to the conclusion that he has been NOTHING but a LYING, USING N all along!   

[BonesMS]

I've also come to the painful conclusion that bf just might be an N.

During the past six months, I've landed in the emergency room, twice.  The first time, I was dealing with an asthmatic attack as a result of bronchitis.  BF dropped me off at the ER, told me to call him when I was done, AND LEFT!  The second time was a couple of weeks ago when I suddenly began vomiting uncontrollably and had NO idea what was wrong!  When I began showing symptoms of dehydration, I contacted my doctor while bf was with me.  When I relayed the message from the doctor that she was recommending another trip to the ER, bf blurts:  "I don't have time for this!" and WALKED OUT!  I had to get to the ER alone.  Now he is wondering WHY I'M UPSET AT HIM!

Bones

Why didn't I see this Narcissism before?

[BonesMS]

I think Mr. Useless Doufous finally got pissed off because I kept telling him that he needs to take responsibility for his own messes and that I am NOT his mother, housekeeper, nor maid.  This argument has been going back and forth since March 2001!  That's right, nearly ELEVEN YEARS, when he first brought in his FILTHY birdcages that were infested with cockroaches!  I've been fighting his cockroaches ever since even though I have asthma.

For awhile, he would bring me his version of insecticide that was supposed to be safe around the birds.  Common sense should have told him that when it is sprayed on cockroaches, eventually the bottle will need to be replaced with a FULL one.  He would always wait until I was completely out, ignoring requests and reminders, and give me the excuse that he would "get round to it later".

This past week, after reminding AGAIN that I'm completely OUT of his version of insecticide and that the roaches are WORSE, once again I got the usual "I'll get round to it later" routine.  I told him that since he won't do what he is responsible to do, then I will do what I HAVE TO DO to fight the cockroaches!  He ignored me so I got a can of HotShot and started spraying in the hallways and in my home office.  (I told him that I was going to do this if he didn't do anything.)

This morning, when I got up, I discovered that he had showed up, overnight, took his last bird cage and left garbage and cockroach mess behind.  DAMN CREEP!!!!

Typical N behaviors!

I need to make a list to remind myself.

[BonesMS]

Sorry (Bones), does sound like classic N behavior. Painful to hear your bf maybe an N also!
  Is this new? Or repeated abuse and neglect of someone who is suppose to love you?

seasons ox

There's been passive-aggressive behaviors for quite a while.  When trips to the Emergency Room became a recent part of the equation, then this behavior became more blatant.  He attempted to insist that I didn't need the Emergency Room while my doctor was telling me that I needed to go.  My trust level in him dropped to zero.

Bones

I'm realizing now that his behaviors toward my health issues is a HUGE RED FLAG!!!!

[BonesMS]

https://www.creators.com/read/at-work-lindsey-novak

[BonesMS]

 

[BonesMS]

 

[BonesMS]

https://www.creators.com/read/dear-annie