Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
How do you know for sure?
Wildflower:
Hi Learning,
This is the part that hit me when you talked about your mom going to therapy.
--- Quote ---The first one told her she was fine and that I was the problem. She actually told me that she stopped seeing this therapist because the therapist thought I was such an awful person.
--- End quote ---
Why would she say a thing like that to you? I'd be really hurt if my mom said that to me. :cry:
Regarding N's and therapy, my dad said he stopped going to therapy because he realized he was wasting money entertaining his therapist, and that every therapist he'd ever had thought he was a genius and they just sat around asking him to share his knowledge. He didn't need help. He was a genius. :roll:
I know this is really rough, all this thinking about N's. So don't worry about being needy here, okay? I can see how you might feel that way, but you don't seem too needy from where I'm sitting. :)
Hang in there,
Wildflower
sjkravill:
Hey Seeker and Wildflower and Portia...
In response to our discussion about feelings of unworthiness in therapy... I said I did not have the courage to face this. Well, I saw my therapist today, and after she explained something to me (for the zillionth time) I asked "Do you ever get tierd of having to tell me the same things visit after visit?"
She replied "No, because I know how easy it is to lose your experience."
So, without going into how much I worried about it, I sort of faced it... I didn't think I could... a tiny, tiny victory. "baby steps!"
Learning,
Thank you for sharing your stories about your relationships. Actually, one of the hardest things for me is to vailidate my experience, or to use the lables. It's hard for me to say to myself "this experience was abusive." It's especially hard when the act of 'abuse' was seemingly subtle, and unassuming.... When N does a really convincing job of framing my reality, I trade his alleged intention for my experience... I think, he is wonderful and I am horrible for perceiving of this situation as abusive. It can get to be a mind f*** at times. My ability to deal with it comes and goes. That's part of what keeps me. The other part is a sincere love for him, and hope that we can both heal.
One day at a time...
Peace, sjkravill
Learning:
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Learning:
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Portia:
Hiya Learning, it’s difficult to write this without sounding trite but – you will be past all this one day. It’s hard work and willingness to change I guess…I’m guessing because I don’t really know myself. This will pass for sure though.
And some people find being light-hearted or jokey stops them imploding – it doesn’t work for everyone. Not necessarily something to admire or frown upon – just a different approach?
Give yourself the okay to be sad…or any other emotion you feel. There’re no bad emotions…only emotions….and hey, you don’t have to think straight all the time either. Sometimes not thinking straight gives you clues to a way out/on/forward…best wishes..P
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