Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mother's Day - a day of dread and self loathing.
Anonymous:
Dear mrt,
By all means, DO see a doctor!! Many of the antidepressants have different strengths. Also ask if there is a liquid version for when you get to the really little doses at the end.
Again, I have to emphasize educating yourself and paying attention to what your body is telling you. Only YOU know how you are feeling, the doctor is not inside YOUR body.
My doctor did withdraw me gradually, but it wasn't gradual enough. If you go on the web and read other people's stories, you will find that the most important thing is to take a LOT of time and decrease the dose VERY gradually. This gives your own brain chemistry time to adjust and maybe start making the chemicals that the drug provided again.
Some people take a year to withdraw, some much less. That's why I say it's really important to pay attention. If you start feeling rotten after you decrease a dose, then maybe you decreased it too much. Or try the decreased dose every other day for a couple of weeks. There really is no one correct way to do it. It all depends on how YOU feel and how YOUR body reacts.
From what I have read and from personal experience it's not the beginning part of decreasing the dose that causes the withdrawal. It's at the end when you STOP entirely. My aunt is withdrawing from Paxil now and she is down to taking the minutest grain of a pill, like one-sixteenth of the smallest dose. But since she has taken a year to do it, so far she hasn't suffered.
Since you are on the "voiceless" site here, I am assuming that you probably have issues with believing in yourself and being heard. This is one area where you really will want to take charge. What YOUR body tells you ie REAL and you have the right to do this properly and NOT SUFFER. So, please make sure you find a doctor that will listen to you and take your concerns to heart. Okay? The doctor is NOT god and probably has NO PERSONAL experience being on antidepressants.
Also, I read that a lot of people had success with switching to Prozac and withdrawing from that instead. Apparently Prozac has the least amount of withdrawal. It has something to do with how long the drug takes to break down in your body and how long those breakdown chemicals remain in your body. Paxil is the worst, Prozac the best and the rest are somewhere in between.
Really, I can't encourage you enough to read up on it, there's a lot of info out there. And keep me posted. I really don't want you to go through what I did.
Gingerpeach
Anonymous:
Dear Dawning,
You asked if these drugs are good for inertia. If by inertia you mean that you just can't do anything, sit on the couch and veg, etc. then I ask if you might actually be depressed? And calling it inertia?
I was in denial about my own depression for a year and a half. If I hadn't stared getting panic attacks, I probably wouldn't have done anything about it. I mean it's kind of like the chicken and the egg, isn't it. I don't feel like doing anything, so why would I bother doing anything about my depression ? It's kind of funny if it weren't so paralyzing. And believe me, I was paralyzed.
See, I could function with my depression though, I always went to work. I didn't do much else though. When the panic started, that interfered with everything and I never knew when it would hit. No control at all is very scary.
The drug that I was prescribed (Paxil) treats both anxiety and depression. And like I said in yesterday's post, it did help me. It allowed the symptoms to go away so that I could look for apartments, pack, call a mover, stand up to my NH without dissolving into sobs and mush. So yes, it helped my inertia. I never would have gotten out from under the N without it.
But.....like I said previously, it can also deaden your emotions. When I was on it, I almost never cried, even when I wanted to. This made me feel somewhat like a robot. I don't like not being able to feel what I'm feeling. Before, I was feeling too much and couldn't get past that. So, it enabled me to break the cycle. And for that I am grateful. Maybe you might want to talk to a professional about it.
Gingerpeach
Dawning:
Good morning Ginger Peach!
Thanks for sharing this information. I will look into it because, while I am fine working, vacationing, sleeping and using my computer for various reasons ....I have found it difficult to do other important things like go shopping for food and clothes. I am paying my bills, filing taxes, stuff like that. Only been like this since the end of March so been thinking it is a necessary phase and one I'm getting over as we now speak. But I have felt in a rut for a bit longer (as in can't decide how to go about getting what I want, questioning what I want so what I want changes all the time.........blech.)
Will also search for information about getting off Paxil because I wouldn't intend to take it for a long time.
Thanks again.
Anonymous:
Dear Dawning,
It was so strange to see you say "Good Morning!" I guess that is one of the "miracles" of the internet. I forgot you were on the other side of the planet !!
I wanted to say that if depression is the only thing that is inhibiting you, that is - if you don't have severe anxiety or panic attacks, you might want to try one of the other antidepressants as Paxil has the worst withdrawal. I didn't remember you saying anything about panic or anxiety.
I go to a women's support group and pretty much all of us have taken antidepressants at one time or another. Among us, we have probably covered the entire pharmacological spectrum! All of us have been helped by them, but I definitely had the most severe withdrawal and I was the only one taking Paxil.
I am glad to hear that you are feeling hopeful about making changes. I still struggle with the "rut" and resist doing things that are productive and "good for me." I try to remember though that I don't have to be perfect and just because I'm not, it doesn't mean I have to be perfectly awful either!! And always remember to give yourself credit for paying attention and for seeking for answers.
As a child I always asked a lot of questions and as I got older would ask my mother about the meaning of "life." And she would always say, "Life is a process, and the meaning is in the process."
I don't think that I really understood what she meant when I first heard her say it, but I do think about it when I am frustrated or down and try to remind myself that it's all a part of life. It's the process of living it and learning it and accepting it and finding ways to make it better and ourselves better at it.
My Mom is one of the wonderful parts of my life, so I don't dread Mother's Day at all. For you and all of the others that have had difficult and impossible mothers, I can only say how sorry I am and hope that there was someone in your life that loved you and heard you.
Gingerpeach
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: Dawning ---Will also search for information about getting off Paxil because I wouldn't intend to take it for a long time.
--- End quote ---
Caveat about paxil. I took it for a long time, it was great. But I gained a LOT OF WEIGHT. This is a known side effect of Paxil!!! I had to get off of it, because I got a secondary depression from weight gain!! I didn't have any problem getting off of paxil, though.
bunny
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