Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mother's Day - a day of dread and self loathing.
mrt:
Well mother's day came and went without any drama from my N family. :D
I honored my wife as the kids and I showered her with gifts. We spent time with her two grandmothers and her mother and it was a good day although I kind of ruined the end of the day by getting ill and getting a horrible tooth ache.
My wife's brother was there with his fiance. Tonight I learned that she (his fiance) committed suicide and is in a coma - not expected to live!!!
Oh my God! She seemed fine on Mother's day except I did notice that she said her two daughters were with their fathers. Strange for mother's day. I did notice that she was a little vocal when the subject of my brother-in-law's ex-wife came up. How rude she was to her and how she would call and hang up on her. Other than that she seemed fine. I wish I could of encouraged her in some way. She was a sweet person who deserved so much more.
Here I am whining about my problems and here was a person in pain and I was oblivious. I thought I had a N family until I learned that none of her family would even go to the hospital to see her! I wish I knew why she did this!
Why are people sometimes so evil and hurt other people so bad and never ever see their evilness? I've come to the conclusion that N's are much more dangerous than people can imagine - they inflict much more pain and do much more damage than people realize. My N family used to make me feel like doing something to myself until I realized that I don't have to put up with their abuse. That they are not worth it. Nobody is worth that.
People hear me now, If someone is driving you into doing something drastic to yourself - then there is a problem! Recognize it. Realize you do not have to live with this toxic situation. Get help. Get out before it's too late for you. Don't play around with N's and toxic people. Deal with them the way they need to be dealt with. Protect yourself and those you love.
mrt :cry:
Portia:
(((((((((Mr T)))))))))
Can't really say much can I? You've said it all. I'm sorry for you, sorry for her too.
Take care of yourself. Go to the dentist. Look after your teeth.
Get and give lots of hugs, 9 a day minimum.
(((((((((Mr T and his loved ones)))))))))
Dawning:
Hi Mrt,
Poor woman. How tragic that no one has visited her in the hospital. If she is still in the coma, I would go and visit her if I lived nearby. Maybe she felt isolated and was good at pretending that everything was fine. Sounds like it. Lots of people like this, I reckon. I wonder who could shed some light on helping you understand why she did this.
I am super-glad to hear that you did something good with your wife and kids and that those parents of yours didn't get in the way. Woopee!
And thanks for reminding us all that you care.
You know, I think any whining done on this board is evidence that we are NOT leading miserable lives. I think about people living life in quiet and silent desperation. Never reaching out for some reason. Reaching out to the wrong people repeatedly and, over time, becoming withdrawn and suicidal maybe because they never found an expression for their feelings.
Reaching out, reaching in and sharing, and ever always moving to a place of self-acceptance and acceptance of others - means a h*ll of a lot to me. So when are we going to have the voiceFUL retreat? I suggestion we all meet in the Cook Islands and rent a villa. :lol:
Mrt, I love your "N toxic ducks" phrase and I love the way it sounds when I say it. Those dam* N-toxic ducks as in *Oh, no.... here comes another one. waddle waddle* Great imagery. Thanks! :D ~Dawning.
mrt:
I went to the hospital last night fighting flooding, hail, threats of tornados - leaving my family - to go check on my brother-in-law. He had quit answering his phone. We were thinking the worst for him. I went to check on her and to look for him because she was in still listed as being in the Intensive Care Unit. When I got there he was gone. (he was told to go home because his fiance was dead) But she was out of her coma and was asking where he was. I told her I didn't know. She started crying. I told her he was okay and not to worry about him but to concentrate on getting better. (I still didn't know if she was going to live - how do you handle a situation like that??)
Her family did come to visit her because they had to make a decision regarding putting her on a respirator - to artificially keep her alive - but she pulled through and didn't need it. So they left. Her sister was the only one there. She stated they didn't want him (my brother-in-law) to know anything about her condition. and after awhile, I was escorted out.
I found out today that she is probably going to survive. I'm thrilled and relieved that she's okay.
I later found out that HE was okay and THEN later today, he called his sister (MY WIFE), the legal secretary, and was concerned about his money he spent on a vehicle she owned that her family came and removed from his property! :roll: OMG!!!
I understand her family's position. He is a classic N. this part that I wrote was about him.
--- Quote --- Why are people sometimes so evil and hurt other people so bad and never ever see their evilness? I've come to the conclusion that N's are much more dangerous than people can imagine - they inflict much more pain and do much more damage than people realize.... Nobody is worth that.
--- End quote ---
This whole situation has made me examine some of the people still in my life. I still have some N's that are taking me on a roller coaster ride!
Can I get off now? Stop the damn ride. This ain't fun. I'm getting ill. I want a different amusement park to play in. One full of nice normal people who are thoughtful, empathetic, and who don't take take take. Is there such a place or am I living in a fantasy world?
No More Drama - Please My heart can't take this.
mrt.
Dawning:
--- Quote ---This whole situation has made me examine some of the people still in my life. I still have some N's that are taking me on a roller coaster ride!
Can I get off now? Stop the damn ride. This ain't fun. I'm getting ill. I want a different amusement park to play in. One full of nice normal people who are thoughtful, empathetic, and who don't take take take. Is there such a place or am I living in a fantasy world?
--- End quote ---
Well, first thing is that you WANT to get off and that is GOOD! Give up asking for permission to anyone but yourself. So on this rollercoaster that sounds never-ending, you are going to have to come up with a way to get off that doesn't cause major injury. You may end up with some scratches and bruises though but I'll bet your wife and kids will be there to help with that. And this board too. The important thing is that you can get up and walk away so be careful. Once off, don't let them take you on that ride again. Walk away, take a breather and start your new journey to a world of less takers. Are you are reader? I've got to recommend it again: Healing The Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield. He writes "there is a way out" more than once in the book. It is always helpful for me to remember that and never forget the light at the end of the tunnel when I start going into hyper-sensitive overdrive. Take some time to yourself in the mornings, the late-afternoons - have a walk. Join a gym.
I'm rootin for ya. :D
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