Dear Lighter,
I just want to thank you for talking with me as we did for awhile on that other thread... which I guess was mainly about different styles in personality and communication.
I'm seeing how some people can glimpse just a smidgen of another's personality/style and decide to label it bad... and therefore the whole person is deemed bad (or at least, in definite need of change).
One person's reaction to viewing another as somehow "off" might be to dismiss that person from her life.
Another person's reaction might be to determine - hey, I know what she needs! Now if only she'd hear me and we could get her all fixed up.
I'm not talking about you or anyone else here but me, Lighter... because as I've seen these different reactions from various people here on this board, I've seen aspects of myself and I know that I've taken both of those approaches at various times in my life.
Realizing that has left me feeling torn, or split, in a way that I couldn't reconcile without talking it through.
I don't want to continue either approach, so I've got to find and proceed on another course.
Knowing that there are so many things and people I don't understand, I'm definitely not capable of analyzing everyone I meet in 5 seconds flat - and I don't even want to attempt it!
See, I've watched that done, too.. as though the goal is to get a handle on every psycho-mechanism on the planet and therefore be able to speedily box and label every human being occupying it, this creating an illusion of security. Yuck.
Best option I have here is just to continue discovering who I am and then practicing being myself here.
On that note, I really appreciated your initial post to cat's paw here and thank you for your even-handed summary.
I'm not clear whether or not you actually feel all these things - in a settled way - or if they're just conclusions drawn by your mind to which your feelings have yet to be reconciled. Personally, I'm somewhere in between, acknowledging these things as facts, but not completely comfortable with those facts... but then, that's all part of the work in progress here.
I hope you're well and enjoying your day... like I said, just wanted to say thanks and kinda try to wrap up what felt to me like it was left wide open.
Love,
Carolyn