Dawning and Bunny,
Thank you for your comments and ideas.
The N worked outside of the "limits" I set for him, because he only spoke about an economic success he had. It was not yet about grandiose fantasies. It bordered on those (he barely began about all the incredible adventures he was about to start), but he restrained himself.
Yes, he is using me as a sounding board to share his good news with, and I am glad to do that as a friend. I can understand when someone gets great news, like a new job, a birth, moving, etc., and they want to talk about it. He sold his house for a great deal of money. So, he will rant about this for months now. Soon, it will lead into fantasies about what he is going to do (but will never do). In the meantime, as a good N, he will turn the conversation to his new fortune. It is a great reason to again focus on himself.
This is where Ns may be like the boy who cried wolf. My other friend had his first child 3 months ago, and he talks incessantly about him. But he is normal, and there has been give-and-take over the years, so I am happy to listen to descriptions about the "goo-goo" and little smiles and postpose talking about myself. But the N has been demanding attention constantly, and now this is just one more thing. It is a big thing for anyone, but I am sick of it.
I probably should just deal with things as they come, but I see it coming. After his excitement dwindles a bit, he will start talking about two things - First, the international adventures that he will have with the beautiful jet-set that will invite him to the fabulous parties and the young women who will throng to see him. Next, he will indirectly tell me that I should be living like he will, insinuating that I should give up my dull life and job and follow him into this exciting lifestyle.
I have a small hope that I can keep the restrains on his conversation, but probably not.... I have a small hope that he will see that he is not what he thinks he is and get a somewhat realistic attitude and self-acceptance. I find it ironic that I am sometimes doing what he fantasizes, but he never refers to it. For example, he talks about the international life. He has never left the U.S. and has little education. In the past year and one-half, I made five trips abroad. I dabble in two foreign languages and am fluent in another. I was just interested in this and do not find it a point of bragging or status or anything like that. He finds that just by fantasizing about such trips that he has "James Bond" status. What I am trying to say is that I AM PISSED OFF!! Just speak to me like a human being, will ya???
Excuse my ranting and raging.....
