letters

[changing]

Lupita-

Life can be so cruelly unfair. I am sorry that you have to spend time with such insensitive clods. If someone told me what Dr. V did you, I would talk to someone else, outside of that school system instead, the next time . One can never fully know the hidden agendas and lotyalties of others. Of course, I would remain friendly and let him think that he knows what is going on, for the time being.

I might also find out about free counseling elsewhere. You could look for a family counseling or other center with a free or sliding scale fee basis.

The discrimination that you are experiencing is illegal. It is illegal for them to spew hate speech at you, illegal to harrass and discriminate against you. But it can be a slow process to prosecute this type of behavior. It seems that they are aware of this and may be documenting your teaching, etc. You need to keep your own log!

 Since you need the job, I would lay low until I got a new one, and get free counseling from an outside agency, that could verify what you are going through. There are very nice free counseling centers in almost every city. The school's own referred counselor may construe things in the school's favor if you have to sue them. Also, if it gets too bad, you may need your own psychiatrist or psychologist to fill out documents. Their doctor may refuse to do this.

I would also keep a log of what happens every day, what the birdbrains say,  who comes into the class, etc. The EEOC could use all of this in case something happens. It may come to the point that you need to open a case and provide documentation. If nothing else, it may buy you some time and make the school back off, though I would wait until I thought the time was right to do it. I might also join a local latin anti-discrimination organization! Right away!

You are doing so well in your situation. Don't let those racist nuts tear you down- just keep a file on them, get a professional of your own for back up, and hang in until you are ready to go to a better job!!!! These are just suggestions of course- you must do what you know is right. Please forgive my suggestions if this is wrong for you.
 
Oh yes- teenagers can be silly and egocentric sometimes- I know it hurts just now, but your son loves and respects you, and he will give your stuff back when you ask! In the meantime, please be good and gentle with yourself- you are such a darling person, and it is hard to survive a prolonged seige. And we care here on this board.

Love and Peace,

Changing

[Lupita]

Still, I do not understand what happened. There were openings during the summer. Now there is nothing. I did not apply to anything during the summer because I thought i had a job there. but, if they did not want me, why did they make me sign a contract since June?   Why????????WHY????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? 

[Ami]

IMO------ They got "power" over you b/c they saw that they could. This is my opinion. So much of the bottom line of life is "power". It is horrible  and it SHOULD not be that way,but it is(IMO)
 You should read Caroline Myss. . She talks about how not having our own power results in sorts of problems.
   Lupita,I think that what happened to you was "simple" in a sense. The people could sense your weakness and they  bullied you like kids on the playground. Maybe I am all wrong--I hope so b/c it is an awful quality  of human nature to pick on people .
  I HOPE that I am wrong.  Compost what does not fit .                  Love   Ami


PS  You really have a lawsuit for discrimination.Isn't there a lawyer in your town who would like  to take on a case like this for contingency?

[changing]

Hi Lupita and Ami-

If it seems right to you, I think that a free consult with an employment lawyer as Ami suggested could be a very good idea. Also a consult with the EEOC. (The federal attorneys prosecute the cases for free, but you have to go through an investigatory process. If they cannot take your case because of a shortage of lawyers,etc. you can then get a right to sue letter.)That would nail things down more as far as a possible future case. In the meantime, a good log is very important as well. If you felt the time was right, you would have your evidence ready to start a discrimination case. As Ami said, please compost this if it doesn't fit.

Lupita, I am so sorry that this situation is so torturous. I don't think that you did anything but act in an honest fashion with crummy scummy bummy racist people. It seems that you feel trapped, which is a very cruel situation for them to set you up in. Please don't blame yourself for their misdeeds. Just keep yourself together and fortified, and this will be over and you can tell those sub-cretins "Arrivederci, Sayonara, Ciao and Bye Bye Turkeys!!!"

Love and Hugs,

Changing

[Lupita]

I am not in that direction.
The only thing I want is to survive the year and find another job. If anybod can help me find another job, that would be the perfect help. Or find free counselling. That would be the perfect help.
Or give me words to tell people when they say something ugly, or attituds to develop during the ostrcism that they have condemned me.
No law suit. I do not want to waste my life in a law suit. Look at those black parents in Florida, whose kid was killed in a boot camp. They did not get anything. No, nothing good comes from a law suit.

I need to get out of this depression. It is killing me. I donot have energy. No gym, no friends, I was doing wonderful, when this man came to my school, and everybody supported him in his evilness.

That is very disappointing. Sad.

I just need for the Lord to open a window so I can escape. I cannot go with out a another job in my hands. I need a job. That is what I need.

[changing]

Hi Lupita-

Only you know what is right in your situation. I hope that you get the job that you are seeking ASAP!You deserve a proper working environment.

Love,

Changing

[Lupita]

I am agonizing here. I need to stop agonizing. I need to stop the fear. I will succeed because I have not done anything wrong. I have to triunph. God knows I am a good teacher. He will not attack me tomorrow. God will help me. God will help me. Please, God pretect me from my enemy!!!!!

[Lupita]

On top of all, I bought a pone card to call my mother, and I lost it. So I wrote her an e mail to tell her that I did an effort to buy a five dollars phone card to call her and I felt very sad because I misplaced it, and she wrote me an ugly letter telling how bad is my sister in law. I assume she thought I called my sister in low instead.
I do not get justice anywhere. I get screwed everywhere. I cant believe it. it is not funny. It is horrible.

[Ami]

Your Mother is the worst.I want to put her in the compost heap.                                   Ami

[isittoolate]

Lupita
I am so sorry for what you are enduring, You sound like a victim. You must work toward being a survivor-- the first is lost, the second is strong,

Do you have evidence of discrimination to file a law suit? Perhaps a lawyer is required here, to advise you. By doing this you are working toward saving yourself. This would be a move toward being strong and in charge of yourself.

We on the board can empathize with you, but we cannot solve the problem. It is one that requires help from you own area.

As you write of your trials, I wonder what tone of voice you use when speaking. Is it strong and secure? or is it limp and whiny? The last will get you nowhere so I hope it is the first!


My very Best Wishes for you to become strong and secure, assertive in standing up for yourself. You know the truth!!
love
Izzy


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[lighter]

+Lupita..... get ahold of yourself, woman.

You're the person who threatens men and women, alike... that's why they do this to you.

You're at the receiving end of all this attention, bigotry and manipulation because people don't want you to have more than them.

Buck up and stop letting them get to you so badly.

They're winning when you fall apart.

That's why they do what they're doing.

They don't like it when you're all shiney and happy and active and on track.

That's too much good for you and their little crappy lives suck so.....

they share their misery.

Don't let it in!

Practice wearing that helmet that allows you to choose what words you allow in and what you don't.

Don't let them transfer their agression to you..... on you it becomes defeat not agression.  I think they don't want you defeated..... just controlled and in your place. 

Please please please try to take the observers role and look at what they're doing, stop feeling like prey.

They're small unhappy people playing children's games, Lupita.  Look at that and be amazed at how childish and stupid it is.

Don't keep going into shock and feeling helpless.... if you can help it.

((Lupita))  All things, good and bad, must come to an end.  And so will this bad time in your life.  Promise.

[Ami]

Dear Lupita,
  I know that this will be very hard to see with your heart b/c your heart is so damaged by N abuse. However,Izzy is right about your embodying the 'victim" role. I JUST saw my role as victim last week ,so i am not judging you in ANY way. God knows how you even survived  as well as you did ( very well) with your mother.
  However,I think that your path OUT of all this mess has to be the path of switching from a victim to claiming your own power. This is the road map for you (IMO)
  I bet that you are too overwhelmed to receive  this information,now.I understand. However, keep it as a "goal" for a future time when you are not so assaulted.
   Lupita,as I do the inner child exercises(connecting to the deep layer of feelings),I can see how we took on all those messages of worthlessness. The messages are all lies. We believe  them b/c we were brainwashed for so long and when we were vulnerable. "Train up a child in the way  he shall go and he will not depart from it'. It is very hard to replace old messages,but we can. We,as humans,have brains that CAN be re-wired.
  There  are studies on brains now that show that old pathways can be made new.
    I will be praying for you. I am terribly sorry for all you are going through.I think that you are being exposed to the "evil" within people. Their evil came out b/c they sensed that you would "take it'(IMO)
 All bullies pick people who they think will take it. Then,if the person fights back, the bully goes to s/one else.
  It is a horrible situation. I am so,so, sorry,Lupita. ((((((((((((((((((((Lupita))))))))))     Love     Ami

[Lupita]

An African-American student, on a scholarship for basketball, yelled in my class "those crazy Mexicans". I said, watch your mouth. He said I did not say anything. I said I want to have a good relationship with you, he said I do not want to. I wrote him up. But in my school he has to sign and agree with the discipline referral. He did not sign it. Of course. I went to the assistant principal and she accepted to deal wth it with out the signature. I called the coach. He said he would make him run. This boy is terribly disrespectful and aggressive.
Today I have to deal with the results. Hoping in the name of God that the assistant principal is not manipulated by Dr. U. They never tell me what consequenses the student paid. Never.

[Lupita]

CB, Laighter, Ami, Izz, your words are so beautiful. I guess I suffer more than others. Fire crackers from childhood maybe. But it seems that many people deal with problems like mine.

[Leah]

((( Lupita )))

Just want you to know that you have been in my thoughts.

Remember, you were offered the contract in June because you were valued according to your teaching record of good standing
as a teacher within the school during the previous academic year(s).

That true fact cannot be stolen from you.

It is in your ownership.

So my dear friend, walk into the school each day and take up your teaching mantle and continue as always with the good work that you have a proven track record of.

It is in your ownership.

I know it is not the best place to be standing when all around are so 'nasty' but remember, they don't have to be in the class with you as you perform your teaching role ........... and they most certainly don't have to go home with you either!

"Thank goodness" I hear you say 

But standing you are ..... in your rightful place ..... the place of teaching that is in your ownership.

So stand firm and upright as you can survive this ..... (remember, no-one can see your knees go wobbly when they are 'nasty')

With gracefullness you are able to choose .... not to engage with their 'nasty' games .... they will soon grow tired of it all 

Take care, thinking of you, you are in my prayers.

Love,

Leah