First of all-----(((((((((CB)))))))))) These guys are unreal! I am very sorry for your situation! Please keep us posted! Explain of you can. I will have to take notes for later.
AND...I will try to make this brief. Court was interesting. Course he had a new lawyer. I was granted a two year protective order, with no contact from him to me or kids BUT somehow, my version of events was not heard and the judge thought NO PARENT time for two years would be too harsh so she granted standard parent time. Since HE alleged that the kids were FINE seeing him. So that means they will be forced to see him every other weekend and 3 hours on a weekday each week. UNTIL we get the divorce final. He agreed to a guardian ad litem for the children and I don't think he knew what that was, but it was a win for me cause the kids will rat him out. Literally. It will just take some extra time. Not thrilled with that timing part, but gotta run the marathon here. He will have to see the kids a bit until then. What seems bad might be good...I will explain in a moment.
He and his mother thought they were victorious somehow... I don't think they understand big words, actually. Turns out he was practically exposed by my attorney for producing false documents to get out of jail, so he may be facing purjury down the line. AND the judge ordered that the only communication between me and him would have to be through 3rd party. GUESs WHO volunteers???? Mommy DUM MUM!! I said NOT a CHANCE! So we have to drop them at a private facility who takes care of these kinds of "transfers." Turns out, when I go to do my intake interview with this facility, that the woman there informs me he already came, and she is very concerned that he does not seem to grasp the seriousness of the protective order or the fact he pulled a gun out in his home. She said she would call him again, but was quite concerned with his nonchalance. He still claims he only showed me the gun which is a lie, but even then, the judge chastised him for it. I agreed to let him see the kids starting Friday night even though it was technically "my time." I figured I would get it over with for all of us.
So, first thing the next morning after court---his mother starts calling me. Thinking she is the middle-man now. Again, their delusion. I called my attorney and put a stop to that quick although going back and forth really was about three hours. My attorney said to email my NH and tell him I would not talk to her and she was not to come to the house for anything. (she called to pick up the third seat of his vehicle he left in the garage when he left) SHE SHOWS UP an hour later and is banging on my door and is sitting outside in HIS car! I didn't answer and she heard from my H's attorney to get the hell out or I would have her arrested too. I will NOT stand for this for one second cause she seems to have a selective and creative memory when it comes to what I say and do, I will not give her a chance to do that to me ever again. And she lacks in social skills--and if I gave her an inch she would take a mile. Just like her son. So that disaster is averted. Like I have time for this???? These people are idiots!
NOW, for the fun part! I get Thanksgiving with the kids. We have a blast and my whole family is over since the house is quite large and can accomodate a huge crowd. I know NH will not be happy my family is partying on his dime, but he can't do or say anything! I let the children enjoy the holiday and tell them Friday morning about having to visit dad for the weekend. They react as expected. With dread! (long story short) BUT I got it all on digital recording. Several cried and all said "we don't want to go" and a couple got so upset they had to use restroom! I said he will have to behave since he does not want his mother to see him being jerky. So they calmed down and went. It was hard and I finally broke down and cried when I dropped them off. I will get them at 7 pm Sunday night.
I get a text this morning. (My sis-n-law got them phones so he could not take them away). He actually ask for the ones HE got them BACK at court since he could not call them anyway, my attorney said "Let him ask the children for them back HIMSELF!" So the text says,----- it is getting weird here and we all want to come home! I text with them for a minute and try to lighten it up and find out what is going on, and my 12 year old says HE is trying to tell them his version of events and it is waaaaaay offfffff! I tell her just hang in it will be over soon.
Later my oldest sneaks a call to me to tell me what was happening, and says she STOOD UP to him in front of her grandmother and told him he was lying and told his mother about his awful scary rages and everything she could before he started yelling at her. He insisted on talking about things even though he has been told NOT to by courts and the "transfer" faciltity and attorneys,----- and she told him off! Well, of course he could not stand it---and got very angry and told them all to go pack to come back to me since they obviously didn't want to be there anyway. DUH!!! that is what i have been saying all along! And then said I had brainwashed them all and maybe the oldest just should not ever come to see him anymore. (I swear he is clueless) Grandma had to step in and calm him down and take him in the other room and tell him to take his medicine. Really! My oldest says all the kids are hanging in but really weirded out.
So...he decides to take them shopping for a toy or something to erase his behavior. I told them to go in the first place cause he would probably try to buy them stuff. He has not given us any money since he threw 500 bucks at me in our first court hearing over a month ago. So I said go enjoy it for that if nothing else. Now he is taking them to our church's mecca, to see Christmas lights cause he thinks he is going to convert them and make me mad. All he is doing is freezing them--it is only 30 degrees out there, so they will be ticked off. Tomorrow he will probably pull something weird religiously too. I know he is cornering the youngest 2 boys trying to get info, and he will, but nothing he can use. There just isn't anything, except my 3 year old has a cold and I am sure he will make a huge deal outta that. I have one too and probably a large portion of the country right now. But he will try.
BUT he is getting another huge dose of reality handed to him by his kids! Somehow he thought they were just desperate to see him! That is how out of touch he is and has always been. Not one, even the 3 year old has asked to see him in 6 weeks. In fact to the contrary, they have all commented on how nice it is without him!
OOOOOpsy, another long one! I have never been without my kids for more than a few hours, and never by myself in the house in years and years. Maybe never since I had them. Seriously. I have been a full time full time mom. Last vacation was 8 years ago--but it was 2 days with him---so THAT was FUN!!! This is weird, and I have been mothering by text and still worrying which is funny cause he can't do that, (contact the kids when I have them) he tried but they would not answer and so he went to jail. But I am hanging in. Got some of house stuff put up for sale online today and he won't be happy, but gotta survive, don't we! He has never taken care of them for over a couple of hours and even then didn't do so well. My oldest was ticked since she knew whe would have to be the parent all weekend. And HIS parent too!
Well, anyway.....just updating! Hope eveyone had a good holiday!
(((((((((((((((((I am thankful for ALL of you!))))))))))))))))))
Sunny
