Hi whoever reads this:
This is a good time for me to express my opinion on other people's opinions. Each person is entitled to his/her own opinion, but who do we really know to believe.
I felt like a scapegoat, and one sister told me she thought I had been the family scapegoet---as per the following definition from 'Wikki':
The word is more widely used as a metaphor, referring to someone who is blamed for misfortunes, generally as a way of distracting attention from the real causes.
Metaphor
Look up Scapegoat in
Wiktionary, the free dictionary.When used as a metaphor, a scapegoat is someone selected to bear blame for a calamity. Scapegoating is the act of holding a person, group of people, or thing responsible for a multitude of problems. Related concepts include frameup, patsy, whipping boy and fall guy.[/b]
Now that fits what I feel happened: and even the scapegoating mentioned in the Bible....when the real SG was burdened with everyone's sins, then was sent off to the wilderness while the people were to feel cleansed (my words)
Now look at this author's idea of a scapegoat in a dysfunctioinal family:
The Scapegoat, who is often the second born, characteristically acts out in anger and defiance, often behaving in delinquent ways, but inwardly he or she feels hurt in that the family's attention has gone to the Dependent or the Hero, and he or she has been ignored. The Scapegoat's poor performance in school, experimentation with drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous sexuality, flaunting of the conventions of society, or involvement in adolescent gangs or criminal activity may lead him or her to be labeled the family's problem, ----------------------------------[/b]
........... and more as one can read for oneself. I do not fit this person's idea of a scapegoat.
I would have to drop me somewhere in Lost Child:
The Lost Child role is characterized by shyness, solitariness, and isolation. Inwardly, he or she feels like an outsider in the family, ignored by parents and siblings, and feels lonely. The Lost Child seeks the privacy of his or her own company to be away from the family chaos, and may have a rich fantasy life, into which he or she withdraws. The Lost Child often has poor communication skills, difficulties with intimacy and in forming relationships
................ and more, as one can read for oneself.
Now this is no offence to you, tayana. This was my chance, after reading so much on N-ism ,dysfunctional families and trying to head myself in the right direction. 5 years of reading articles that sometimes 'clash'.
SO may different opinions and we can also find that in different people's take on what certain passages in the Bible mean. We can also have different ideas presented to us here on this Board, as well as from our therapists, and from people in different countries.
I'm writing this now as I am a little more mixed up than I was a few months back. Too much input for me, as I am not taling a psychology course.
Love
Izzy
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