You would think with having both of my wonderful parents in my life and living close by so that I can be there to help them out when they need me, a job I love, a wonderful son, and many wonderful friends that have been there for me throughout many ups and downs...that I wouldn't have such a big hole to fill. I guess I must not giving all of these wonderful things and people my all, because I don't have it all to give right now....my sister still controls a part of me.....How do I take it back...?
Dear (((( Jan ))))
It's the injustice of it all, because, really, this shouldn't happen, we see that it does not happen with others, BUT with our Nsisters, it is a painful reality.
We look around and see other sisters together, enjoying simple ordinary things; like shopping together, or enjoying their children, together.
But for us, the 'together' has gone! But, in reality, it was never there in the first place!
'together' 'unity' call it what we will - but, we never truly had it, with our Nsister.
And the realization is a real shock!
Shock, and post shock or post traumatic shock - is a biggie to work through and it's very much a time evolving process too.
Grief process --- we in reality, are grieving what was not, and what could have been -- in addition to the NC loss and separation.
Take heart, Jan, it is a timely process, and not an easy one either, but there is light for the journey.
Hope this is of some help.
Sincerely,
Love, Leah
