Setting the record straight about Ami

[Gabben]

The name is not Gabben -- it is Lise.

[Gabben]

You mean  Leah that after all of that physical violence that you had to suffer through...and it was a lot, more than most, you have never felt anger towards your parents?

Please, put all of us to shame.

Leah-

You still have not answered my question - is this avoidance?

Lise

[JanetLG]

Gabben/Lise,

Some posts don't deserve an answer.

Janet

[Leah]

I did respond earlier.

Once again Lise,

Please do not take me back to where I was way back then.

Now

Is where I stand - in the here and now

After years worth of work, now, restored and healed.

Remember, I have already posted all about this on your thread.

And received positive responses.


Your shoes won't fit me so please -- stop trying to make me wear them

as you work out / through your own restoration and healing.

[lighter]

[Janet
[/quote]


Ami cared about you - her feelings were hurt, is that a crime?  

I read back through this board and no where could I find where Ami portrayed you as a "nasty forum member"..even IF she did, a least she did not disclose your identity as to harm your reputation, such as you are doing to Ami here on this thread.

Are you really going to deny that posting this is NOT a violation of Ami's limits?  I mean, come on, really.

Lise


[/quote]


Gabben..... Ami's posted about other "friend's" that she's had disagreements with on the board, with the same response.  

She had to know Janet would recognize who she was talking about and respond.

Ami hasn't learned her lesson.... or maybe she enjoys inviting these struggles bc she seems to have a pattern of this happening to her.

In any case...... I'm gently asking that you step back and let Janet and Ami work this out.... you aren't responsible for Ami's feelings and this is Ami's disagreement.... not yours, hon.

[Gabben]

I hear you lighter - I'll step back.

But I feel that Ami is entitled to some dignity.

Lise

Also,

Question for Leah -

Is my anger, which is about my hurt over my parents abuse, bothersome to you? I always feel ashamed and small because you preach forgiveness, as if just offering my parents and the years of hardwiring abuse up to God in one breath is the answer. If so, then can I have my therapy money back??

Also, even if you had some divine intervention from God that just healed you overnight so that you never get angry, wouldn't a genuine person not rub it in others faces who are hurting and trying to grow in love, away from anger and self harm? I mean does not God say that there will be more joy in heaven over one repentant sinner than 100 righteous people?

If anyone suffers from depression or any form of self abuse - please raise your hand. If anyone has ever hurt someone else, please raise your hand. Are we not trying to forgive, everyday?

Peace,
Lise 

[Leah]

Question for Leah -

Is my anger, which is about my hurt over my parents abuse, bothersome to you? I always feel ashamed and small because you preach forgiveness, as if just offering my parents and the years of hardwiring abuse up to God in one breath is the answer. If so, then can I have my therapy money back??

Also, even if you had some divine intervention from God that just healed you overnight so that you never get angry, wouldn't a genuine person not rub it in others faces who are hurting and trying to grow in love away from anger and self harm...I mean does not God say that there will be more joy in heaven over one repentant sinner than 100 righteous people?

If anyone suffers from depression or any form of self abuse - please raise your hand. If anyone has ever hurt someone else, please raise your hand. Are we not trying to forgive, everyday?

Peace,
Lise 

Answer me this, Lise,

How many years have I been working through my life experiences

to arrive at this precious place of here and now, where I stand.

You tell me how many years it has taken

to work through

to my present place of restoration and healing.


Question for Lise:

How many years has it taken so far?

[Gabben]

Answer me this, Lise,

How many years have I been working through my life experiences

to arrive at this precious place of here and now, where I stand.

You tell me how many years it has taken

to work through

to my present place of restoration and healing.


Question for Lise:

How many years has it taken so far?

Huh?

That sounds pretty bitter to me.

I've got my answer.

[JanetLG]

Gabben/Lise,

Leah's response didn't sound bitter to me. The original list of questions, however, did.

If you feel that you are able to 'take a step back' from the issue of me and Ami, that does not mean that you can now go for Leah instead.


Janet

[Leah]

Dear Lise,

You don't me at all.

You don't know how many years it has taken.

So you cannot answer the question.

That's the truth.


Please know that herein I rest my case and disengage.


Yours truly,

Leah


However, I remain, someone who will never be a Bystander or a Silent Witness

despite any verbal abuse or any attempted character assignation.

[Gabben]

Question for Lise:

How many years has it taken so far?

um, well over 20 years Leah, I started therapy when I was 15. Is this a competition?Peace,
Lise

[Gabben]

Lighter,

I'm using my voice, you are just trying to squish me Lighter.

Why is it when people express themselves that certain people perceive it as abuse? Is not that N-like?

Lighter wouldn't you feel bad if you had been working through a ton of layers of shame, anger and hurt, in an attempt to find forgiveness and someone comes along targeting you for your anger issues, passively.

Sure I feel bitter, I'll admit it. But I am willing to grow and change.

I would rather be honest than lie about my pain.

I'm done. I'll listen but I do not have anything else to say.

Peace,
Lise

[reallyME]

hello again all.  Ami, i love you and I love Leah and Gab and all the others, that's first and foremost.

I wasn't going to post to this thread, because I didn't want to violate what Proverbs in the Bible says about "meddling in a matter that is not ones own," but I also do not choose to stay voiceless about my feelings regarding this whole situation, so here goes.

Ami, first of all, if its true that you are having an affair online or off, I want you to know that I understand the need of wanting to feel close and dear to someone.  Yes, sexual type affairs are sinful and wrong, however, being that you claim Christ, I'm sure He is already giving you direction in this matter.

 Ami, i'm not going to take any personal position of condemnation about the acutal affair.  I do want you to realize though, that some people on this list will feel triggered about keeping ANY sort of secret, because, having been abused by being silenced, they have also come to take a stance of what I call "extremism" until they are sure who is safe to trust and who is not.  Apparently, Janet felt that maybe your secret was one that she could not keep or just didn't want to.  That is her right to choose not to hold your secret, just as much as it was your right to ask her if she would keep it with you.  I kind of would almost have wanted you to confide in me.  You and I had an understanding and you know about my ministry stance.  I would have prayed with you about the situation rather than bring it public.  Thats how I handle those sorts of things, as I'm approached by people struggling with this sort of thing quite frequently.

Please, Ami, in the future, come to me or someone else on this group that you are almost 100% sure about how they will respond to any sort of shocking things you might share.  Don't let this put you off from being open and reaching out though, ok?  Janet has been wounded as we all have and I think she just was exercising self-care and protection...my view.

Janet, I am likewise not going to sit and tell you that you were wrong for not being comfortable about what Ami requested of you.  You had every right to let Ami know that you did not choose to hold her secrets.  I'm not sure that posting about this publically was a beneficial thing to do, but you chose it and that, too, was your free right to do so.  

I'm perceiving that you felt covertly insinuated against by Ami, in the way she decided to post about her "friend" and I understand those feelings as well.  My only suggestion is, maybe you could have gone to Ami privately with another person and tried to help her work through whatever the root causes of her issues were.  It's not wrong to share with our "family" this group, that someone is in need of help.  It's just maybe more helpful to handle such a delicate situation in a more private manner and then perhaps have gone with Ami to Dr Grossman to find an outside party to talk with her.  I don't know.  I sure don't have all the answers.  I just wanted to offer another alternative.

As far as quoting "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" I'd like you all to realize what happens next in that Bible story.  The people begin putting down their stones and leaving...OLDEST TO YOUNGEST.  Who of us are the oldest or most mature in these types of matters?  Well, those should be the first to leave the stance of condemnation yet still stand in agreement with Jesus' statement "Neither do I condemn you.  Go and SIN NO MORE."  That must be our way of seeing someone even in the very act of a sin.  Accountability yet no stones thrown...again my view only.

Please take whatever is of value to you from what I shared.  I don't want either of you or anyone being upset with me, even if you want to disagree with what I shared here.  You all are very special to me and I believe we are really in this boat together!

Blessya,
Laura

[lighter]

This is really upsetting....watching Lise and Leah go round and round about something completely off subject bc Ami's can't stand up and take resposibility for posting private stuff on the board.

Ahem.... Was all that Wiltay vitriol tied into this mess too?  

IS HE the one having the online affair bc if that's the case.... I'm disgusted

and....

that would explain a lot.  

 

Further..... and just bc I'm in the mood and already standing on a soapbox.....

I'd be pleased if Ami would refrain from posting like a spoiled displeased child to the wise women here, who've crawled through countries of disease and found better places in which to heal themselves.  (not referring to myself, I might add)

These women have reached out ot her only to have their faces slapped for the effort of touching Ami to see how high her fever is..... how badly injured.... what advice they might give to help her on her special journey.

When she doesn't receive exactly the attention she's seeking......?  

"Walk on by."

Ummmm.... "walk on by?"  

That's rude and a slap in the face of people who struggle daily with more than Ami's had to put up with in a lifetime.  There's no excuse for talking to the wise women like that.  

Esp when they're trying to take her pulse and respond to requests for attention and relief from pain.  

I'm astonished she's slapped as many hands as she has.... and the boards collective kindness has stood by stoically and allowed her to continue her quest..... hope against hope.... that she's really trying to get better.

Like I said.... I don't believe that now and this latest bit of theatrics is further proof that she's all about Ami.... all about attention and all about drama for drama's sake.  

I don't care if she continues to post....

I don't care if she's having an affair.....

what I care about is her manipulating other posters into the fray............ then falling on the ground, helpless and victimized.  

I'd much prefer a straighforward approach.... as suggested by someone else on the Aunt thread.  

Ami doesn't need other's to fight her self inflicted battles.... she desires and instigates them.... she should have to field them, IMO.  

ps... it takes a good long while to forgive those who've harmed...... but we do it for ourselves... not for those who harmed us.  Nothing to do with this thread..... use your voice Lise...... I would not have you squish it on any account. 

Don't ask Janet to squish hers.

[Ami]

IF you have s/thing to say to me ,lighter,take your best shot--leave Lise out of  it.