bad luck

[Lupita]

I believe I had the EDD. Because I remember in my country  a couple of missionaries started accepting me in their family and suddenly I started feeling better. Then one of their daughters got jealous of me and chased me out. Twenty years later I come to work where I am and Mr. V starts helping me, I start to improve and all the teachers get jealous, his wife too, and I have to stop my conversations with Mr. V. Now I ever see Mr. V. Now  I got Observer paying so much attention to me. I started feeling better and now Observer will not come back.
I think as long as any guest does not do anything inappropriate should not be given a hard time. Observer was a great help to me.
Always, there is somebody who damages me. Wherever I go. I have never ever ever found a place where there was at least one person who damaged me. For no reason.
I call it bad luck.
I need to fight this thought. I am feeling extremely sad. I am having fire crackers in my head. Why to damage me? What does it matter if somebody is helping? Who cares is somebody is helping?
OK, Observer, where ever you are you can see this board. I am combating this negative thought. I do not have to feel bad because Observer was chased away. I do not have to feel bad. I will keep reading my book, and the most important, I will not run away from the board because I got hurt. I will stay. God, I am so sad!
Why is it always me? Why? I have not done anything wrong. I was coming fro school after a bad day just looking for answers. O God, why do you abandone me?

[Leah]

Dear (( Lupita ))

Observer had to post yesterday as the person (I don't give two hoots who the person is he/she) said that they were going away on a 2 week holiday (think it said 2 weeks).   Which is why Observer left such a long post for you yesterday.

With lots of website links and recommendations, one in particular looks really insightful.   So you have lots to do, as well as your book.

Hopefully, Observer will come back on and read the "Frustration" thread, after the holiday, and read it and know that there are those, myself included, who wish Observer to come on board and contribute here in posting.

As for me, I have enjoyed what Observer has posted too, so I very much hope so too. 

Don't be discouraged.  All your work, that you have done yourself, remember, has been truly wonderful to  * see * in you.   Well done you!!

Love, Leah

[Lupita]

Dear Observer, would you consider the possibility to say "I do not wish to share my story right now" instead of leaving me?
Thank you anyway for all the time that you dedicated. It was very fruitful. If you change your mind, please, come back and keep posting.
God bless you.

Thank you Lea for your good wishes.

[Leah]

You are very welcome, Lupita,

Love, Leah

[Iphi]

Lupita I am sure Observer will come back when there is time.  You are a lovely person and are making great changes.  I am so encouraged that you say right away that you mean to stick with it and combat the negative thoughts - you have so many times proven you have the perseverance and the will to make things happen.

I have to go as the baby is clamoring for me and may not be able to check in again, but I will be thinking of you fighting and winning as I know many others here will be also.  (((lupita!)))

[Lupita]

I remember my mother being suspicious of anybody who wanted to do something fo rme. O God, that triggers me so much.

I have to combat this feeling. Iam not going to feel bad.

On top I had a bad day at school.

And tomorrow, semester exam for my terrible sixth period.

[Lupita]

Cant think clearly. I am in shock. I am confused. Sorry.

[Leah]

Dear Lupita,

Coincidentally, my mother did that to me also, as she just had to try and keep me down, and in a way, codependent upon her.

I see that now.

Iphi is right, you do have the willpower, truly, your willpower shines, and you clearly have the determination to see this through.

Very best wishes to you,

Love, Leah

[cats paw]

Lupita,

  It's ok, Lupita, it's ok.  You are still able to think, because you have recognized that this feels triggering.  I want to say to you- if  a person is making a journey on the ice, and they fall, they hurt when they hit the ground.  But when they get up, they can look back and see it was a fall, it hurt, but they did not lose the ground they covered, because no one made that journey but them, no matter who might have pointed the way for them.

  You have made this journey Lupita, and you get to claim the work.  Others helped, and pointed the way, but you took the steps.

  ((( Lupita bathed in God's loving care as she pauses))

cats paw

[Lupita]

Thanks Iphi     

[Lupita]

Thanks Cat.

Why do I feel attacked? I was not attacked, but I feel I was attacked.

So, I have to see this accuarately. The facts. My party was ruined. I will have more "Fiesta"  later, with somebody else. God will provide another mentor, or Observer will come back. Or I will learn on my own.

My mom did this so many times. So many.

[cats paw]

  Yes, Lupita, and I do believe you can work through to seeing this accurately.

   If you don't mind, would you say what the name of the 700 page book is?  Is it the one by Ellis?

cat
 

[Leah]

Lupita,

  It's ok, Lupita, it's ok.  You are still able to think, because you have recognized that this feels triggering.  I want to say to you- if  a person is making a journey on the ice, and they fall, they hurt when they hit the ground.  But when they get up, they can look back and see it was a fall, it hurt, but they did not lose the ground they covered, because no one made that journey but them, no matter who might have pointed the way for them.

  You have made this journey Lupita, and you get to claim the work.  Others helped, and pointed the way, but you took the steps.

  ((( Lupita bathed in God's loving care as she pauses))

cats paw

Dear Cats Paw,

That is so very true, and so good to * see *

Serves as a wise reminder along our journey.

Love, Leah

[Lupita]

Feeling Good by David Burns MD book and workbook.


With written exercises, write the feeling, identify what was the thought that provoked that feeling, thinking errors, identify the distorsion, then present the evidence plus pros anf cons of the thought.

I am in the chapter of anxiety. Anxiety is provoked by the feeling of danger. You can feel danger if your boss critizice you. Then you feel anxiety. Etc.

[Lupita]

I forgot, first you write the event that precipitated the feeling. But the event caused thoughts and the thoughts cased feelings, etc.