Yikes-My F just told me that my M is on a plane on her way down to see me

[Ami]

I am strangely calm. If I can stay centered in myself, I may be able to heal by seeing that I am different than she is. I never was like her. I had to lie to myself in order to be like her.
  I am really very different in most ways--likes ,dislikes,interests, basic personality etc. So, if I can be true to my core,I should be OK and maybe even be able to separate emotionally from her.                                          Ami

[reallyME]

Hey Ami,

Please let me know what happens with your mom.  I'm interested to know how it all goes.  You are in my prayers.

~Laura

[Gaining Strength]

Put on your armour Ami.  Go to that centered place and everytime you feel drawn away from it, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom and recenter.  Even if you have to pretend to have a small case of diarrhea.

[Ami]

I WILL have a large case of diarrhea----small case????? (lol)
Thank you GS and Laura.
God must think that I am ready to try to maintain my 'core"in her presence. I hope that "she" turns out to be a "ghost" just like the shame that she taught me is turning out to be.    Thanks for caring. I really appreciate it..    Love   Ami


((((((((((GS,Laura)))))))))))))))))

[Gaining Strength]

Keep us posted about the visit.

[Ami]

Dear GS,
  IF I can retain my core(centeredness) in the face of my M,then I will know that I am indeed "different" than she is. The only time in my life when I was whole,it was based on my being able to see that she was '"different" than I was. Once I couldn't see this anymore,I lost my sanity.
  Now,is an opportunity NOT to give in to her or her world view. Thanks for your supportive words, GS         Love   Ami

[Ami]

YOU are the best. I needed that  TLC, today, Besee. Thanks so very much .        Love   Ami


((((((((((Besee)))))))))))))

[Overcomer]

Wow!  Prayers being sent up on your behalf!  You can do it AM!

[Ami]

Thank you, Kelly. I can see that I have part of my core back. Any part of it is very precious to me. For me, a good life would  be one where I could operate from my core(trust in my emotions ).That would be the "definition" of a good life, for me.
 I am ready for the challenge. . The key is not HER,but me. The key is my finding my way back home( to my internal home) Thanks for caring , Kelly.       Love  Ami

[cats paw]

Ami,

  I've only got a minute again this AM, but I couldn't believe my eyes when I read the subject line.

  Yes, the key is not her but you.

  Let us know how it goes.

cats paw

[Ami]

Thanks Cat. I appreciate your kind words.      Love   Ami

[Hopalong]

What boundaries are you setting, Ami?
For example, are you choosing:

1) to see her at all
2) if yes, where? Would you prefer not to have her in your home, but tell her to meet you at a restaurant?
3) what is your time limit for contact? "I am free until ___ o'clock"

You are a grown woman, not a child. M or not, she does not get to take over your turf, your brain, or destroy your peace.
So I'm wondering if you'll want to set some good boundaries in place and make them clear?

good luck,
Hops

[Ami]

Thank you,Hops. That is a very good point on which I will do much "cogitating"(lol)             Ami

[alone48]

Thoughts and prayers are with you, YOU can do it. Just remember to be the bystander watching from the outside, works like a charm.  Thinking of you.

[towrite]

Let us know how it went. This is a test for you, IMO. I know you can do it. Just remember to "KEEP YOUR ZIPPER ON THE INSIDE."

Kate