Author Topic: things are looking up!  (Read 1810 times)

Anonymous

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things are looking up!
« on: June 21, 2004, 08:31:11 AM »
Hey there,

Just to let those know who replied to my posts last week that I'm getting some counseling from school - first session on Wednesday, so prayer for that would be cool! Haven't told Mum, she would absolutely go rank and not understand why I should feel that I possibly need it; that I'm exaggerating everything. And of course NDad need not know - actually no-one knows. It feels a little strange being quiet and a little secretive, for I'm usually a very open person who tells my close friends what is on my heart. But I haven't been able to open up to anyone that I know. 'Tis very weird...

Yeah - so have still been chewing over everything that was said to me. Still struggling with the whole mum co-dependent concept, but just trying to not let anything get me down or depressed. I refuse to lose this situation!

Lots of love and prayers to everyone else who is struggling with such a burden as this too xoxo

lissie_lou

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things are looking up!
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2004, 08:33:05 AM »
sorry - the post is from me, lissie lou! Thought I had signed in, but obviously not!

Anonymous

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things are looking up!
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2004, 10:00:12 AM »
lissie lou,

You're doing a courageous, healthy thing. It's fine to keep it private. In fact I applaud your doing so. This is between you and the counselor, not for your family or friends to weigh in on. I hope this counselor is a good one.

bunny

mighty mouse

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things are looking up!
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2004, 03:46:25 PM »
Go Lissie Lou!!!!!

MM

Portia

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things are looking up!
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2004, 06:42:31 AM »
:D Lissie Lou!  :D
Good news! Just reading through all the threads from Saturday to now (hello CG, saving yours til last, busy picking up titbits of learning before I plunge headlong back..)

but this thread made me smile big time :D P

Anonymous

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things are looking up!
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2004, 11:05:09 AM »
Hey there, Lissie Lou,

I'm glad to hear from you, too!  The whole N thing is very disorienting and we all know what a Lost in the Funhouse feeling it is when trying to sort it out for ourselves.  So glad you are going to give counseling a try.  Don't be surprised if that feels weird at first, too.  Very common.

I find codependency to be a very confusing term.  I think Bunny defines it pretty well on another post.  In fact, Bunny, I think I am going to print out a couple of your posts as reminders to myself!  The one about codependency as either feeling responsible for another's emotional health and/or putting the power of one's own emotional wellbeing in another.  And the post that one cannot expect an N to accept responsibility and therefore ownership of consequences for their cognitive distortions (well, something like that...I'm going to look for your phrasing!  :) )  I think sometimes the term codependency can give caring a bad rap.  But they are different concepts.  I just get it mixed up sometimes.

Lissie Lou, I really admire your proactive approach to learning about your family situation.  At your age, I still had my head in the sand.  Thank you so much for writing to us here.  Hugs, Seeker

PS.  Being private v. being secretive is also different.  Disclosing or not disclosing private information about yourself is about privacy, being a separate person.  Being secretive is sometimes about keeping information from a person who could be helped or harmed by disclosure.  Other people may ring in on that, but thought this first take might help you.  Ns will accuse us of keeping secrets when actually they are just uncomfortable with our separateness.  Don't let Ns define the interaction.  Good luck!  Seeker