useful or useless?

[Leah]

Dear Lupine,

Thank you for your most profound insightful, honest and straightforward, post.

Hope that you will be posting more of the same to the board.

Truly valued and appreciated.

Love, Leah

[Gaining Strength]

The emphasis lately on the board dealing with PMs and are they good or bad etc. is an example of how preoccupied we are with how we appear to each other.  Actually, we are and should be conveyors of anecdotes which we could learn from and then go out into the world and experiment/experience how we appear/relate to real people!  To continue snyping and competing with each other leaves us all at the level at which we came here.

Amen Lupine, Amen.

[Leah]

The emphasis lately on the board dealing with PMs and are they good or bad etc. is an example of how preoccupied we are with how we appear to each other.  Actually, we are and should be conveyors of anecdotes which we could learn from and then go out into the world and experiment/experience how we appear/relate to real people!  To continue snyping and competing with each other leaves us all at the level at which we came here. 

The choice is; healthy growth toward balance of maturity, or stagnation.

[Sela]

maybe usefulness is in the eye of the beholder?             still trying to coin useful phrases. ha. i need a new hobbie.              seriously mud-brother, hoge ynu will stick  around this mud puddle and muck around when it feels comfy.

[teartracks]

Hi everyone,

Don't know how I got mixed up and put a post to Bella here about drop in visitors.  OK, I'm about to move it hopefully to the appropriate thread this time.   

tt

[finding peace]

Should have stayed on it last time.

Ditto

Ready for one of those juleps, sans the mint and julep.  Cupala shots of bourbon should do it - or better yet, a cuppa hot chocolate with lots of gooey marshmallows.

(((Mud - as always your words are heard and very appreciated)))

Peace

[teartracks]

Hi everyone,

I think I'm resigned to the idea that everything that is said on the board(s) is in its strictest sense about voiceless narcissism.   Not sure though...maybe I should bring the waffles if you serve breakfast on the bank 

tt

[Certain Hope]

To all:

Just a general observation...

On Dr. Grossman's voicelessness.com webpage, we can read a brief cv on the doctor himself and access links to various essays he's written, one of which is on the topic of voicelessness and narcissism. In addition, there is a link to this VESMB with the notation - "A forum to discuss your experience with voicelessness".

I don't know why there seems to be this prevailing theme (at least on this thread) that narcissism is *supposed* to be the dominating topic of this board, but I am suggesting that's a false premise which is not supported by Dr. Grossman's own presentation of this board.

Only some food for thought which I offer because - although my own life has been deeply affected by contact with both NPD individuals and N'ish ones, the narcissistic personality disorder is not the primary theme of my life or necessarily of this board, imo.There are other reasons/ explanations/ complications/ associations with voicelessness besides narcissism and I think that it's very presumptuous for people to suggest that it should be.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Carolyn

[Leah]

In response Carolyn,

Thank You, as you have expressed my current thoughts and understanding of VESMB with clarity.

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival created by any or all of personal life situation(s), is my understanding.

Love, Leah

[Hopalong]

Thanks, Carolyn and Leah...I like the expansive view too.
When it goes from a topic discussion to a tool for life.
If it's used wrongly or with the intent to harm, it shows.

Mud, I share the frustration but maybe not the reason.
It's all, completely, voluntary.

My goal is to:
be focused and courteous
stay away from what feels toxic
avoid belligerence
not rally
try not to judge
set my own boundaries
tell my own stories
ask for what I need
release the outcome
grieve some
play some
think some
love some
grow some

When I first came here two years ago, I was lonely. I am much less so now, knowing there are friendly voices here I can check in with, people whose stories pull me out of my own, a dialogue that has at times astonished me. There have been moments that felt transcendent, people whose perceptiveness has stunned me. And some sour periods.

I may become one of those long-timers who steps back. But I am still so grateful that the board is here.

love
Hops

[Certain Hope]

((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))) I completely understand.

Please know that I must only keep myself out of the business of judging intent at this time in my life, in all arenas, lest I become hopeless.

So much love to you,
Carolyn

[Leah]

When it goes from a topic discussion to a tool for life.

Thank You, Hops

That's it in a nutshell, just as Lupine posted.

Wonderful, that's the why and wherefore.

Love, Leah

[reallyME]

Lupine: If you choose to remain a victim, then you must   criticize the survivors to protect your failure to move on.

Thank you for putting into words how I have felt that some other people here have treated me in the past.  It's almost like "how DARE you tell us that you are succeeding or have succeeded, especially."  Well, I have in many ways and I'm not any more sorry to say that than Bean was to state her accomplishments.

I am also sad for those who either choose to stay stuck or who just plain ARE stuck.  I really would save the "world" so to speak, if I could.  Life is actually a WONDERFUL thing, but so many people just plain can't make it into the good parts through the muck and mire of the bad ones.

It's so sad to me.

~Laura

[Certain Hope]

Hi, teartracks,

I am not attempting to speak for any majority, only giving my own personal view, which is subject to revision as I grow and change. Voicelessness has been at the root of the majority of my own suffering and dysfunction... not npd.
At this time, I prefer to leave my statement of opinion as previously posted, without further comment.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Carolyn

[teartracks]

Hi Carolyn,

I'm good with that.

I want to make sure that when I said 'not excluding present company', I was talking about MOI!   

tt