Thank you for this superb thread, Seasons ,
Sunblue:
My point has always been that you can't move forward until you address the past and part of that process is hearing and acknowledging how you feel and what has happened.
So thank you for this thread. FOr me, it is the very heart of the problem of being on the receiving end of Ns. We are NEVER heard. We are never understood. We are never a priority. It is always, ALWAYS, the N who is the priority and who must be heard. That's why, especially with significant others or therapists or whoever is in our lives, it is so hurtful when they don't listen, when they won't hear.
I so resonate with what you say regarding; that we can't move forward until we address the past and part of the process is hearing, being heard, and being acknowledged as to how you feel, and what has happened. The not being heard as you, a person who is, a person.
Anything less, is tantamount to being depersonalized, objectified and discounted, which are all forms of abuse!! So, in effect, further abuse! In essence, crazymaking, really.
I felt further dismay in my heart when being told to "stop trying to work things out" "you analyse to much" "forget it .... move on!!!"
It is impossible to move on .... healthily.
Yes, one can move on .... in denial .... which is not healthy living at all, in fact, it is deadening.
Being listened to, and really being heard, with regard, to what you are actually saying, and feeling, being acknowledged as a person, and understood, is truly priceless.
Love, Leah