Manipulation is all about Power and Control

[Leah]

What causes people to become controllers?

1. Hurts and wounds   

2. Environment - People who grow up in an atmosphere of control tend to do the very thing they hate when they grow older.

3. Some people just choose to be Controllers.

4. Pride

5. Insecurity

6. Laziness.    They think it is easier to manipulate others into doing things for them rather than accomplish things themselves.

7. Jealousy.   They start trying to control others who they are jealous of because they do not want to see them succeed. Malicious manipulation and control results out of jealousy and envy.


You Might Be A Controller If....

1. If you feel the only way you can be important is to give orders or commands, you might be a controller.

2. If you feel possessive toward other people you might be a controller..

3. If you do not let other opinions be voiced or discussed you might be a controller..

4. If you feel jealousy toward a person you might be a controller. .

5. If you feel threatened over new relationships a person close to you has or finds you might be a controller. .

6. If you are over-protective toward those near you you might be a controller..

7. If you try to dominate every area of a person's life you might be a controller..

8. If you make plans for the person you control without his/her permission you might be a controller..

9. If you criticize every move and every statement the other person makes you might be a controller..

10. If you think the person you control owes you something, and you demand that he pay you back you might be a controller..

11. If you control people with flattery you might be a controller.

12. If your life totally revolves around nurturing, developing, or trying to disciple another human being you might be a controller..


Source:  Defeating Control And Manipulation
by Johnny Lee Clary




The Wheel of Power and Control

the workable equation is;

Controller using Manipulation  =  Power


and my belief is, that the person behind the wheel maybe an N or not.

with the outcome for the victim being that of being rendered powerless and voiceless.

Leah


"Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. - Eckhart Tolle

[Leah]

http://family.jrank.org/pages/172/Boundary-Dissolution-Dimensions-Boundary-Dissolution.html

 
Intrusiveness , also termed psychological control, is characterized by overly controlling and coercive parenting that intrudes into the child's thoughts and emotions and is not respectful of the autonomy of the child (Barber 1996).

Whereas enmeshment is characterized by a seamless equality ("we feel alike"), the intrusive relationship is a hierarchical one in which the parent attempts to direct the child's inner life ("you feel as I say").

Psychological control may be carried out in ways that are more subtle than overt behavioral control. Rather than telling the child directly what to do or think, the parent may use indirect hints and respond with guilt induction or withdrawal of love if the child refuses to comply.

In short, a psychologically controlling parent strives to manipulate the child's thoughts and feelings in such a way that the child's psyche will conform to the parent's wishes.

Longitudinal data show that infants of intrusive mothers later demonstrate problems in academic, social, behavioral, and emotional adjustment in first and second grades (Egeland, Pianta, and O'Brien 1993).

Psychological control also is predictive of anxiety and depression in children (see Barber 2002) and of delinquency, particularly in African-American youth (Walker-Barnes and Mason 2001).



http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=7045.0  Power ~ Control ~ Manipulation ~ Domination