I also hope I'll know when to get the heck out of her way!
hi lollie
That is a wise stance and giving me an opening with which to agree.!!
What did your mother do successfully? Were the two of you in the same 'line of work/same education etc.?
Comparisons are really never fair!!!OK--the second quote---you didn't want to leave your mom behind! --to run with it, you couldn't because of her--
without her you could have. Everyone's problems have a difference from the last problem.
I need to interject about my mother. When I was 17, grade 13 highschool, my mother went away to the hospital to be checked for an operation to help the weakness in her legs. The tumour on her spine/spinal cord was too large and inoperable. The pressure on her spine would put her in a wheelchair.
I finished high school and went away to work for the summer, then she was released............................. March-July.
I earned enough to go away to take a course and get a job and Boom ! I was on my own and away from my parents.
Meanwhile my 2 older sisters had done the same The eldest was married that year, 1956, after 3 years in nursing school and the next in business school married in 1957. They left home twice really.
There was no pressure any and all to stay at home and there was still my younger sister and brother at home. My brother until 1967 when he married.
Then my mother and father were alone.
We were all away from the physical abuse that no one talked about. Mainly my father, but mom had a hand in it!
I doubt they were full-feldged Ns, but had some weird traits and all of us were happy to get away. We just did, in our own way, but I'm sure that surrounding neighbours, church people thought it was cruel of us to leave Mom. She was even asked why she didn;t keep at least one daughter home to help, and she said that she never did anything to stand in our way of bettering ourselves.
This was pretty yappy of meOK So you are an adult and you can leave for your betterment, but you can come back home on weekends or once a month---but whatever, your mother has NO right to stand in your way. I like to think that a mother gives birth and rasies the child and must be ready to "let go" when the time comes. If you feel she doesn't love you, just split, but I would ask first.
I asked once, my mom and dad if they ever loved me. I was doing their rax return at the time in their home. Neither said anything at all. THere was total silence as Dad left the room and mom just sat there, and I felt I had an answer of sorts! Either they did and couldn't say it, or they didn't!
Yes I am very proud of my daughter's accomplishments and that she still has other interests and goals.
how old..you and DD?
We are getting to 69 and 44 this spring! OUCH!Love Izzy